Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Bipartisan Barware

, , | Right | February 25, 2009

Customer: “You used to carry those drinking glasses that are shaped like soda pop bottles. Do you still have them?”

Me: “I believe so. Let me check with that department.”

Associate: *over walkie talkie* “Yes, we do have some. They’re in the barware section.”

Me: *to customer* “Okay, ma’am, we do have some–”

Customer: “No, I was just back there, and you only have the really big ones and the ones that are too small. You used to have the medium-sized ones that are just right. I told the boy back there that I needed the medium-sized ones.”

Me: “So… you already spoke to the department associate?”

Customer: “Yes, and he said that you don’t have them anymore. But I know that you do, because I saw Hillary Clinton drinking from one of them on the debates last night!”

Me: *to the associate* “Are we out of stock on those glasses, or are they discontinued?”

Associate: “Discontinued. I already spoke to someone about these glasses…”

Me: *to customer* “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but it looks like we’re not going to be carrying that particular size anymore–”

Customer: “That’s bull-s***! He’s lying!”

Me: “Umm, excuse me?”

Customer: “He’s lying! I saw Hillary Clinton drinking out of one of these god-d*** glasses last night on the debate! And you’re trying to tell me that they don’t make them anymore?! I don’t think so. Why are you all lying?! If Hillary Clinton can drink out of one of these glasses, then they obviously are still making them!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not saying that they’re not being made anymore. I’m saying that we’re no longer carrying that particular size in our store, that’s all.”

Customer: “Lies! I bet if Hillary Clinton came in here and asked for those glasses, you people would get off your a**es and check the back room for her!”

Me: “Have a nice night, ma’am.”

Lenin, Inc.

, , , , | Right | February 9, 2009

Customer: “You only have two showings of American Carol! That’s just plain un-American! You’re all d**ned communists.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it wasn’t selling well so we had to split it with another movie.”

Customer: “No, it’s because you’re god-d*** commies.”

Me: “No, sir, that’s actually capitalism. We move the movies that don’t sell well to less show times so as to maximize profits.”

Customer: “No, capitalism is American and no real American would move a movie down just because it wasn’t making money!”


This story is part of our Ignorant-About-Communism roundup!

Read the next Ignorant-About-Communism roundup story!

Read the Ignorant-About-Communism roundup!

Our Great Dumbocracy

, , | Right | November 17, 2008

(A woman in medical scrubs with a name badge enters the store and approaches the counter.)

Customer: “Helllooo! How are YOU tonight?”

Me: “I’m doing well. How are you?”

Customer: “Oh, just fine. Are you voting in this year’s election?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Customer: “Have you considered John McCain?”

Me: “Well, no, not really.”

Customer: “No? Who are you voting for, OBAMA?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “OBAMA! HA HA HA!”

(She continues to laugh maniacally, inserting “OBAMA” between laughs. After a little while, she comes to the register with a few rentals.)

Customer: “Hellooo! How are you tonight?”

Me: “Still doing well… did you find what you were looking for?”

Customer: “Have you thought at all about this year’s election?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “We just had this conversation.”

Customer: “Oh. Who are you voting for? I’m voting for Obama. I just want our troops to come home.”

Me: “You just laughed at me for not wanting to vote for McCain!”

Customer: *confused look* “Really? I’m so tired when I get out of work!”

My Fellow Americans, You Are Crazy

, , , , | Right | September 25, 2008

Me: “That will be [total].”

Customer: “Why’d your prices go up?”

Me: “Well, the cigarette tax just went up.”

Customer: “This sounds illegal.”

Me: “The state tax on cigarettes just went up. We don’t have control over that.”

Customer: “I know the President of the United States. I think I’m gonna give him a call.”

Me: “Okay… have a nice day.”


This story is part of our Presidents Day roundup!

Read the next Presidents Day roundup story!

Read the Presidents Day roundup!

Iraq, Land Of Crappy Return Policies

, , , | Right | August 22, 2008

Customer: “Hi, I wanted to return this set of knives and your cashier wouldn’t let me.”

Me: “When was the original date of purchase, ma’am?”

(She hands me a receipt.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry ma’am. Since you bought these over 60 days ago, we won’t be able to refund your money.”

Customer: “But I don’t want them anymore. Just take them back and give me my money.”

Me: “I’m not able to do that, ma’am.”

Customer: “But I don’t want the god-d*** knives! Take them!”

Me: “Ma’am, it is not in my power to do a return for you.”

Customer: “Well, then get someone who can, god-d*** it!”

Me: “Ma’am, you don’t understand. After 60 days, the system locks out the transaction. It is in nobody’s power to refund you.”

Customer: “You god-d*** incompetent pieces of s***! I don’t want these f****** knives, and I want you to take them back now!”

Me: “There is nothing I can do to help you, ma’am.”

Customer: “It’s because of f****** fascists like you that we’re at war in Iraq! Do you realize that? THIS IS YOUR FAULT!”