One Day My Prints Will Come

, , , , | Working | January 19, 2019

(I have recently started a new job. I need to send out over 800 letters, so I ask my supervisor some questions.)

Me: “Is there a usual vendor we use for printing and mailing?”

Supervisor: “Oh, we don’t do that directly. All our printing and mailing gets done through [Consulting Firm].”

(This isn’t unusual, so I let the firm know to expect some info from us to set up the mailing. I get to work, put together the draft, and send it to my supervisor.)

Me: “Can you look this over? If everything is okay, I can send it right off to [Consulting Firm].”

Supervisor: “It looks fine, but why are you sending it to [Consulting Firm]?”

Me: “Because you told me they handle all our printing and mail?”

Supervisor: “Not for something this small; we can print it all directly in the office. It will be cheaper that way.”

(I’m a bit frustrated by this but I let it go. The next day…)

Me: “Hey, can I get an expense approval for a box of paper?”

Supervisor: “What do we need all that paper for?”

Me: “For the letter I need to send out.”

Supervisor: “Oh, just send it over to [Local Print Shop]. They are the vendor we usually use for printing and mailing.”

(That finally answered the first question I had asked.)

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Yeah, We Vote No

, , , , , | Working | December 21, 2018

(I manage teams of door-to-door canvassers for political campaigns. Each staff member has their data time stamped with every door they hit so we can keep track of them when they are in the field. I am calling a staffer concerning a problem I noticed with his time stamps on his previous shift.)

Me: “It seems you didn’t start knocking doors until an hour after your shift started, and you stopped thirty minutes before you were supposed to.”

Staffer: “Yeah, is that a problem?”

Me: “Well, yes. We paid you to work for four hours, and you only actually worked for three.”

Staffer: “I don’t really see the issue.”

Me: “Yeah, we’re going to let you go.”

Staffer: “Well, I guess that makes sense.”

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Vote Now For Fraud!

, , , , | Legal | July 22, 2018

(I am going door to door for a City Council candidate.)

Me: “Hello, I’m out today supporting [Candidate] for City Council. I was wondering if he could count on your support in the election?”

Voter: “You know it is illegal for you to ask me that. There is a reason they call it a secret ballot.”

(This isn’t true. It is completely legal to discuss who you are voting for with anyone as well as who they are voting for; you just can’t require someone in any way to disclose who they vote for.)

Me: “That’s all right. Just so you know, ballots need to be turned in by Tuesday. Make sure to turn yours in, and I hope [Candidate] has earned your vote.”

Voter: “Maybe he has; maybe he hasn’t. Would you be willing to give me $10? That might push me in [Candidate]’s direction.”

Me: “It literally is illegal for you to ask me that!

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Looks Like She’s Found Her Calling

, , , , , | Working | February 21, 2018

(I’m an organizer for a city council campaign. A new volunteer has come in for the first time and I am training her on how to make phone calls. I sit with her while she makes a few calls, and then ask her how she thinks everything is going. Keep in mind, this is a very sweet woman in at least in her late 70s.)

Volunteer: “You know, every time my husband or I get calls like this we always immediately tell them to f*** right off, but it is a lot of fun being on the other side of them!”

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Weeding Out The Candidates

, , , , , | Working | November 21, 2017

(I’ve been doing political consulting work for almost a decade and have encountered a lot of strange candidates over that time. This one is definitely the weirdest, though. I have been contacted by this guy about working on his soon-to-be-announced campaign. I go to meet with him at his home, and this is how he introduces himself.)

Candidate: *pointing* “By the way, that is weed on the mantle, in case you were interested.”

(The rest of the meeting was just as weird. Needless to say, this wasn’t someone I wanted to work for.)

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