Weeding Out The Candidates

, , , , , | Working | November 21, 2017

(I’ve been doing political consulting work for almost a decade and have encountered a lot of strange candidates over that time. This one is definitely the weirdest, though. I have been contacted by this guy about working on his soon-to-be-announced campaign. I go to meet with him at his home, and this is how he introduces himself.)

Candidate: *pointing* “By the way, that is weed on the mantle, in case you were interested.”

(The rest of the meeting was just as weird. Needless to say, this wasn’t someone I wanted to work for.)

Can You Please Delay Democracy?

, , , , | Working | October 9, 2017

(I am hiring people to do a single day of work handing out literature at polling places on election day. I get this question from roughly 20% of people who applied.)

Applicant: “I’m not able to work on election day; could I possibly be scheduled for a later date?”

Putting The List Into Listening

, , , , , , | Working | June 9, 2017

(Everyone in our office has a daily quota of calls we need to make. Because we are often very busy with other tasks, if one of us is falling behind that day others who are less busy will help each other reach their quota.)

Supervisor: *recently promoted* “Hey, [Coworker] is behind on her calls and is helping some volunteers right now. I need you to help with her calls.”

Me: “I actually spoke with her 20 minutes ago and am helping with her list right now.”

Supervisor: “Whatever you are working on isn’t a priority right now. You already finished your calls today and she needs help.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m doing that. This is her list I’m calling through right now.”

Supervisor: “I didn’t ask for excuses. Go get a list from [Coworker] and help her out. End of discussion!”

(That supervisor oversaw three different offices and interestingly enough whichever one she was physically in at the time always ended up with the worst production that day.)

Pandering To The Gerrymandering

| Denver, CO, USA | Right | February 21, 2017

(I am a volunteer going door to door for the re-election campaign for a local city councilwoman. This is the first election since the district lines have been redrawn and the neighborhood I am in was moved from another district.)

Me: “Hi, I’m with [District One Councilwoman]’s re-election campaign and I was wondering if she could count on your support in the upcoming election.”

Voter: “Sorry, I’m supporting [District Two Councilman]. I think he has been doing a good job.’

Me: “Oh, well, just so you know the districts have moved and you are now in [District One Councilwoman]’s district. They have worked really well together over the years and [District Two Councilman] has endorsed her re-election campaign.”

Voter: “But why am I not in his district anymore? Can you move it back?”

Me: “Um… that really isn’t something I’m in charge of.”

Voter: “Well, you should really think about moving it back.”

Me: “All right… Can we count on your support still?”

Voter: “Hmm, you know, I think I’ll write in [District Two Councilman]’s name so he can be my council person again.”

Me: “That isn’t really how it works, sir. Even if he somehow got the most votes in this district he is running in a different one, and isn’t qualified to represent this district because he lives in district two now.”

Voter: “No, I think it’s a good idea. Even if he doesn’t win he will get the message and move the districts back. Thanks for letting me know I have to write it in!”

(The door shut before I could say anything else.)

A Vote Of No Confidence

| Tempe, AZ, USA | Right | June 21, 2016

(I’m volunteering on Election Day for a local campaign in May of 2012. With the presidential election happening in November most people are completely unaware that this election is happening earlier in the year.)

Me: “Hello, sir, I’m calling with [Candidate] for Mayor, to make sure that you—”

Voter: “D*** it! I’m so sick of these political calls!”

Me: “I apologize, sir, we just—”

Voter: “People already know how they are going to vote! What is the point of these?! If I get one more call then I’m not going to vote for [Candidate].”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry sir. We will make sure you don’t get called again. We just wanted to make sure you had a chance to vote today.”

Voter: “Good! Wait… the election is today?! Um… do you know where my polling place is?”

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