Doesn’t Register Their Lack Of Professionalism

, , , , , | Working | April 19, 2019

(Usually, my wife and I go shopping together. She’s been picking up extra shifts so I decide to shop at the grocery store where she works. Usually, I don’t shop there, because they’re a bit more expensive than other places, certain members of staff are very rude, and the employee discount system isn’t worth the hassle. I complete the shopping just fine and get into the ONLY AVAILABLE LINE for the registers. My wife is cashiering. When I get to the front of the line, her coworker suddenly runs over, grabs my wife by the shoulders, and forces her away from the register. My wife, who has complained bitterly about this coworker’s behavior every time they have a shift together, leaves to report this new behavior to the manager. The coworker starts running the barcodes for my groceries.)

Coworker: *hurriedly and in a hushed tone* “It’s against company policy for employees to check out their family members.”

Me: *acting casual but pretty annoyed with how she manhandled my wife* “Oh, we didn’t know that. [Wife] only recently got training for the registers; I think it just hasn’t come up yet.”

Coworker: *slightly louder and exasperated* “It’s because people try to steal that way.”

Me: “Well, if I wanted to steal, which I absolutely do not want to do, I’d just have walked out of the doors while no one is looking. Why walk up to a register to steal?” *forced laugh* “Last I checked, approaching a register with a wallet out means I intend to pay.”

Coworker: *suddenly louder and now getting shrill, louder with each sentence* “[Wife] is going to get fired! And it’s all your fault for trying to steal from [GroceryStore]! You should be ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!”

(Customers behind me are staring, and I’m on the verge of a panic attack because of the attention and fear of my wife losing her job. Her job is the only way we’ve been paying the bills lately.)

Me: “I wasn’t trying to steal anything! I just wanted to pick up some things and didn’t want to drive across town to do so.”

Coworker: *accusatory and loud* “Then why did you go to [Wife]’s register?!”

Me: “Because it was the only one open!”

(In my frustration, I forgot to pay with the employee discount and forgot to use our gift card, too. I basically ran out of the store. As soon as I got home, I called the manager and explained to him that it was an accident, that I didn’t steal anything, that I don’t appreciate being treated like a criminal for trying to pay for my groceries, and that [Coworker] is why I don’t usually shop there because she’s creepy and rude. I found out a few days later that [Coworker] got written up for it. It’s her second customer complaint in three days. My wife and I have no idea how [Coworker] keeps her job, since she’s specifically starting fights with other employees all the time and treats customers like garbage.)

Not Demonstrating Acceptable Behavior

, , , , , , | Working | January 1, 2019

(At this time, I identify as a woman and have a high-pitched “customer service” voice. I have just gotten accepted for a job demonstrating a product for [Company A] at the store of [Company B]. The interview on Monday is over the phone, and the job is Saturday and Sunday, except for the first week where I will be trained on Friday. As a college student, I make it clear that I’m not available for any kind of communication between Tuesday and Thursday because I need to focus on classes. My interviewer, who is also my direct manager, agrees to this. Everything is going fine; I’ll see them on Friday. Or so I thought. Tuesday, I receive a text.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], how are things? Don’t forget you need to bring [documents] on Friday if you didn’t submit them by email. I haven’t checked, lol.”

Me: “Please keep in mind, I am not available for any communication on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. I submitted [document] by email. We can talk more on Friday. Have a nice day.”

Manager: “Oh, I wanted you to actually train Wednesday.”

Me: “We never agreed to that. I specifically said I am not available. If you’re unhappy with my availability, I will be informing you now that I am prioritizing my class work over this job. If you want that priority changed, it’ll cost [higher price per hour], as that is the industry standard, above the wages you’re currently offering. I am including any text messages individually as one-hour charges each. Thanks for your understanding.”

Manager: “Jeez, it was just a joke. See you Friday!”

(Wednesday, the manager sends a series of about forty to fifty messages, all varying in tone from casual chatting to borderline sexual harassment, like asking me what I’m wearing and a few ranting about his ex. The final message is the important one.)

Manager: “So, are you still interested in the job or do I need to find someone more dedicated?”

(Pissed about his genuine disrespect of boundaries, and having PTSD flashbacks because of how his messages are similar to those sent to me by my abusive ex, I decide I’m done with his nonsense.)

Me: “I was still interested in the job. And I would have shown up on Friday and everything would have been fine. Everything you sent me could have been discussed on Friday as we had planned, and some of it shouldn’t have been sent at all. But now? No. I no longer want this job. You have shown me that you have no concept of boundaries, and demonstrated an inability to respect your employees. I don’t want to work for someone like you. I don’t get jobs to make friends. I do not and did not ever want to be your friend. I get jobs to make money. Learn to make friends in appropriate settings. I quit. Lose my number.”

Manager: *suddenly back-pedaling* “You can’t do this! We need you! Just take a joke! We already spent five grand securing the location at [Company B]! And you were the only qualified applicant! If you’re serious about this, you need to tell [Company A]’s owner why you’re pissing on his money!”

Me: “No, you can tell him how you threw away his money by being so unprofessional. In fact, show him our text messages. Good luck finding a new demonstration-lady with half as much experience as me, in this economy, for those wages.”

(He gets the hint and doesn’t reply. He tries to call on Thursday, but I ignore the calls, and my voicemail isn’t set up so he can’t yell at me that way. On Friday, I get a call from [Company A]’s owner and he asks me to, in my words, explain why I didn’t show up for training.)

Me: “Is [Manager]’s phone with the number [exact phone number] a company device or a personal device?”

[Company A]’s Owner: “It’s a company device. Why?”

Me: “Go to your account provider for the phone and pull up the text messages from Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Call back and tell me what you think happened.”

(I hang up on him because he’s wasting my time by not having done so in the first place. On Saturday, he calls again:)

[Company A]’s Owner: *nervous* “So, uh, about the issue this week. I just wanted to personally apologize. [Manager] was… totally out of line; don’t worry about a thing. We won’t charge you a penny if you don’t share those text messages.”

Me: *in the most passive-aggressive polite and cheer customer service voice I can manage* “That’s nice of you to offer, but I don’t owe you anything. The expense of training and location rentals is the burden of the business, not of the employee. What you’re attempting is blackmail. I’ll do whatever I want, and you’ll never contact me again unless you want the police involved, mmkay?”

(He hung up on me. I happened to go to [Company B] on personal business, and saw [Company A]’s demonstration booth set up but unmanned. It remained unmanned for three weeks, until another lady started working there. After a brief conversation, I found out that [Manager] was doing the same harassment to her, and she was going to quit after only two shifts because of it! The next employee to man the booth was a man, who was a Poe’s Law-subtype of sexist with a familiar voice. Thankfully he got banned from entering [Company B]’s premises after talking too much about the anatomy of female customers, and [Company A] hired someone much more decent.)

Their Driving Is Nothing To Sneeze At

, , , , , , , | Romantic | December 8, 2018

(I have PTSD from being in a severe car accident as a child that resulted in a traumatic brain injury. I am mostly recovered and normal as an adult. I prefer to have my wife drive on days when my PTSD is acting up. There’s just this one thing: when she’s driving and sneezes, she grips the wheel with a death grip, shuts her eyes tight, and shakes the wheel side-to-side, making the whole vehicle move side-to-side on the road. This is brown-pants-level terrifying for me. She thinks I’m being a baby about it. We have a dumb fight over it, and then get over it. The next week her parents are in town. Her father is driving us somewhere and he’s driving way above the speed limit. Suddenly, he sneezes, and in doing so, grips and shakes the wheel violently, which causes the vehicle to suddenly merge into a different lane.)

Wife: *with terror in her eyes* “Sorry about last week. You were right.”

When Sleeping On The Job Means Not Sleeping On The Job

, , , , , | Romantic | October 29, 2018

(I suffer from a fatigue disorder which has only within a couple of years begun to be managed by medication. I hate napping, because if I nap for more than an hour, I can’t sleep at all the next night, and napping for less than an hour gives me a migraine. Thankfully I haven’t gotten tired enough to nap since starting the medication. It is also important to note that my wife usually has to push to get me to leave the house for work and school, as I am a massive shut-in.)

Me: “I’m not feeling well.”

Wife: “That’s okay. We have nowhere to go. Just take it easy.”

(A couple of hours later, I end up taking a nap for four hours.)

Me: “I hate to say it, but I don’t think I can go to college tomorrow.”

Wife: *uncharacteristically agreeable for this subject* “Okay, hun, go ahead and take the day off.”

Me: “What? No argument about my obligations?”

Wife: “If you’re sick enough to decide to take a nap, and you sleep through the night tonight, I’ll be able to tell you’re actually sick as opposed to having anxiety issues. It’s pretty simple.”