A Hot Slice Of Kindness

| Dallas, TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Popular

(I’m delivering a pizza. An elderly woman answers the door. She opens the door part way, and it catches on one of her crutches. She struggles a little and manages to maneuver herself to get the door open. I see a cast on one ankle.)

Customer: “I’m sorry. I broke my ankle yesterday, and I’m still learning how to get around on these things.”

(She doesn’t appear to be in pain, or anything. Just obviously unfamiliar with the crutches.)

Me: “Aww, that’s too bad. Hopefully a pizza will help. That’ll be [price].”

(She starts fumbling with her purse while trying to balance on the crutches. Pretty quickly she is able to get to her cash. I give her the change. At this point, I can see her trying to figure out how she’s going to carry the pizza with her crutches.)

Me: “Would you like me to bring the pizza in for you?”

Customer: *immediate look of relief* “Could you just put it right here on the coffee table for me?”

Me: “No problem.”

Customer: “That’s very nice of you.”

(The table is just a few steps inside the house. I set the pizza down and turn to go.)

Customer: “Hold on a moment. Please, let me give you a tip.”

(She reaches into her change purse and pulls out a single quarter and hands it to me. I can tell that she doesn’t tip very often, and that she sincerely thinks that the tip she’s giving me is a pretty big deal.)

Me: “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

(I could tell that she meant well, so I smiled and accepted the token in the spirit that she intended.)

Doesn’t Meet The Minimum Standard

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(I work as a cook for a very popular pizza place, and am cashing out a pick-up order for a guy who looks like he is in his 20s.)

Customer: “So, what do you make here?”

Me: “Besides pizza? Well, we have breadsticks, wings, pastas—”

Customer: “No, like money.”

Me: “Oh… well, as a cook, I make minimum wage.”

Customer: “So like, $9?”

Me: “Uh, no… $7.25.”

Customer: “Oh… never mind. I think I’ll just keep playing video games.” *takes his pizza and walks out*

Putting Common Sense Back On The Menu

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Popular

(My brother and I rarely get to hang out outside of work due to our schedules, so when we do, we try to make it a treat. He works the line at our pizza place and I’m a counter girl. We order from another pizza joint, having had more than enough from ours.)

Counter Girl: “Thanks for calling [Pizza Shop]. This is [Counter Girl]. What can I do for you today?”

Me: “Hi, I’d like to order a 12-inch meatball sub.”

Counter Girl: “I’m very sorry, but we don’t offer the 12-inch subs anymore. We have 8-inch and 15.”

Me: *to my brother* “They don’t have that anymore; do you want something else?” *to her* “No problem, I’ll just place the rest of the order while we figure that out.”

(I place the rest of the order while he figures out that he wants a different sub and I add that too. But meanwhile, while I’m still on the phone:)

Brother: “This is ridiculous; that was their best seller. Tell her that they need to update their website’s online menu. This is just bull-s***. I can’t believe I can’t get my sub.”

(I finish the order, relaying none of that at all.)

Brother: “You should’ve told her off. I just wanted my sandwich; she was probably too stupid to put it in properly. And update the d*** menu! If I would’ve know, we would’ve ordered somewhere else.”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure that the 18-year-old girl I spoke to made the menu changes herself. The audacity. Don’t be the kind of customer that I hate.”

(We got our order promptly and my a** of a brother actually liked what he got better than the meatball sub!)

Timing Is All In The Delivery

| Austin, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular, Time

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to place an order for delivery.”

Me: “No problem. Just to let you know, our delivery time right now is approximately one-and-a-half hours tonight. Will that be all right?”

Customer: “Jesus! Why so long?”

Me: “Well, I’m the only one running the store at this time, and I’ve only got one driver. We’re rather busy so it’s creating higher delivery times. I do apologize for the wait, sir.”

Customer: “Well, yeah, I guess I’ll do that.”

(The customer orders and approximately 45 minutes later, calls back.)

Customer: “WHERE THE F*** IS MY FOOD?! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR AN HOUR AND I WAS TOLD IT WOULD BE ONLY 30 MINUTES!”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m sorry for the wait; however, it’s been only 45 minutes and your quoted delivery time was an hour and a half. We will be there within the quoted time.”

Customer: “I JUST TOLD YOU WHAT I WAS QUOTED. ARE YOU TELLING ME I’M LYING?!”

Me: “Sir, I’m the only one here, which means that I took your order. And I told you the estimated delivery time. I apologize for the miscommunication; however, we will be there within the quoted time.”

Customer: “What in God’s name is taking so long?”

Me: “…I AM THE ONLY ONE HERE.”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager. This is piss-poor service.”

Me: “I am the manager. I am the only person here.”

Customer: “Well, how much longer?”

Me: “The delivery time will rise as you continue to stay on the phone with me. As I cannot prepare pizzas while I am stuck on the phone.”

Customer: *hangs up*

Sandwiched Between Pizza Slices

, | VA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m answering phones at a local pizza joint that happens to have the word “Pizza” in its name.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Restaurant]; what can I do for you tonight?

Customer: “Well, OBVIOUSLY I want to order a pizza! Why else would I be calling [Restaurant]? Idiot…”

Me: “Right, so what size do you want?”

Customer: *silence* “…I’m not sure.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of crust?”

Customer: “Uhmmm…”

Me: “How about toppings? What toppings do you want?”

Customer: “I… I don’t know.”

Me: “We also sell sandwiches.”

Customer: “Yeah, screw it. Let me get a sandwich.”

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