Good Pizza Is Worth Travelling For

, , , | Right | December 7, 2017

(I’m the customer in this story. My mom usually adds certain restaurants to her speed dial for convenience. On this specific occasion we have just gotten home from a long road trip.)

Employee: “Hello, [Pizza Place], Name please?”

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name], and I’d like a medium pepperoni pizza, please, for pick-up.”

Employee: “Okay, Miss [My Name], it’ll be ready in about 15 minutes.”

(Fifteen minutes later, I drive to the nearest known location, only to be told that they don’t have my order or my phone number in their records. I check the number again.)

Me: “Hey, Mom. The number they provide and the one in your speed dial don’t match up.”

Mom: “Oh. Try calling them back maybe?”

Me: *already on phone with the place I had called* “Hello, it’s [My Name] again. Um, I have a stupid question. Where are you located?”

Employee: *sounding bemused* “We are located in [city about seven hours away].”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “I am so sorry, could you please cancel my order? I’m afraid I won’t be able to pick it up in time.”

Employee: “Sure thing, miss.”

Me: “Thank you, and have a wonderful day, sir.”

(After hanging up, I relay the story to my mom and we both have a giggle over it and how we’d have to drive a good seven hours for pizza. I then call the correct number.)

Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name]; are you located at [nearby street]?”

Employee: “Ma’am, you were here just five minutes ago.”

(I place my order, while containing my giggles, and go over to pick up my pizza. Out of embarrassment, I relay the story to the clerk in order to clear up the earlier confusion before paying for the pizza.)

Employee: “Well, that would’ve been one heck of a drive!”

Knows How To Make An Entrance

, , , , , , , | Working | December 1, 2017

(I live in a “garden” apartment complex and my building has ten units. Two of the apartments, mine and one other, have private entrances to the outside, and the other eight are accessed through a common entrance where you have to buzz in. One night my wife and I have just put our newborn son to bed when there is a loud thump on the front door.)

Voice Outside: “WHAT THE H***? WHY IS THIS LOCKED?!”

(There’s more loud banging, almost like someone is trying to break the door in. I look out the window and there’s a pizza delivery guy apparently trying to shoulder down my door.)

Me: *through the door* “What are you doing?”

Delivery Guy: “Oh! I have your pizza.”

Me: “I didn’t order a pizza.”

Delivery Guy: “Is this [address]?”

Me: “Yes, but I didn’t order a pizza. What apartment is it for?”

Delivery Guy: “[Apartment Number upstairs] for [Neighbor].”

(I crack open the door to talk to him but keep the chain in place.)

Me: “You’ve got the wrong apartment; that’s upstairs.”

Delivery Guy: “But I need to get in! Let me in.”

Me: “The door is on the other side of the building. They’ll buzz you in.”

Delivery Guy: “Can’t I just come through this way?” *he leans his shoulder against the door again*

Me: “This is my apartment; I’m not letting you cut through my apartment to deliver somebody else a pizza.”

Delivery Guy: “Why not?”

Me: “I’m just not. Go to the other door.”

Delivery Guy: “Fine, you can explain to your neighbor that you won’t let me deliver their pizza.”

(He got back in his car and drove off, making no attempt to go to the main entrance. I talked to my upstairs neighbor later that week. Apparently the delivery guy told them that the doorman wouldn’t let them in. We don’t have a doorman.)

A Hot Slice Of Nice

, , , , , , | Hopeless | November 30, 2017

(I work at a large pizza chain. One day we get an order for several pizzas, which we fill. However, someone misreads the slip and makes the wrong pizza. The customer comes in to collect her order before we can fix it.)

Me: “We’re really sorry, but we made you [Pizza #1] instead of [Pizza #2]. We can remake it if you’re willing to wait.”

Customer: “No, don’t bother. I’m happy with [Pizza #1]. How much do I owe you?”

(I give her the total, which is a little over $20. She pulls out a $20 note, but then her face goes pale.)

Customer: “I’m so sorry. I dropped the other $20 on the way here. I could go home and grab more money.”

(Since she was so nice about the pizza, and since she’s only short a couple of dollars, I wave her off. A few weeks later, we get an order for the same customer. I’m not working that night, so I am told about this later. The customer comes in, collects her pizzas — correctly made this time — and then goes up to pay.)

Customer: “I was here a few weeks ago. I dropped part of the money that I was going to use to pay for the pizza, and the person on the counter was nice enough to let me go. I’ve brought in the amount I was short last time. Can you try to make sure that she gets it? Her name was [My Name].”

(I’ve had customers who were short. On the very rare occasion, they may pay it back. But I’ve never had a customer not only return the money, but remember the person who covered the missing amount.)


, , , , , | Right | November 29, 2017

(I work in a popular grocery store in Canada that also sells hot foods, and I’m working the pizza counter.)

Me: “Hello, were you wanting to grab a slice?”

Customer: “Yes, that vegetarian slice.”

(I grab the vegetarian slice and go to put it in the oven to heat it up.)

Customer: “NO! NO! I wanted that vegetarian slice!”

(He points to the slice of pepperoni.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I thought you wanted a veggie slice. I’ll just switch.”

(He starts to interrupt me.)

Customer: “That is a vegetarian slice.”

(I am almost unsure how to reply, thinking he is joking.)

Me: “Haha, no, it’s pepperoni, sir. That is a type of meat!”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes. 100% sure.”

Customer: “Give me the f****** other slice, then. I’ve always had that other type of pizza, and I have been a vegetarian for five years!”

(A customer standing behind him starts to laugh and says:)

Customer #2: “Obviously, you weren’t a vegetarian, dumba**.”

(I had a good laugh with my coworkers afterwards. Funny thing is, this happens more frequently than you would think! Learn the difference between meat and vegetables if you’re a vegetarian!)

Moaning Is Some People’s Bread And Butter

, , , | Right | November 28, 2017

(My family gets together and we decide to eat pizza. My dad calls to place the order.)

Dad: “Yes, I’d like a meat lover’s pizza and a Hawaiian.”

Pizza Man: “All right, sir… Oh, I’m afraid we’re all out of cinnamon bread for your order, so, would you have any problems with getting the potatoes instead?”

Dad: “Well, of course, I do! I can’t have my coffee with potatoes!”

Pizza Man: “Uh, I’m terribly sorry, sir; we’re just all o—”

Dad: “Nah, man, I’m kidding. What kind of person would get mad over some bread?”

Pizza Man: “You’d be surprised, sir.”

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