It’s Going To Be A Big, Healthy Pizza

, , , , , | Related | July 31, 2018

(I’ve just walked in to start my shift at a restaurant, and as I’m tilling in to my register, I overhear a mother and her young daughter talking.)

Daughter: “Why do we have to wait for our pizza?”

Mom: “They have to make it from scratch.”

Daughter: “That shouldn’t take so long!”

Mom: “It does! I made you from scratch!”

Time Waits For No Pizza

, , , , , | Right | July 15, 2018

We have a system at our franchise where everyone who calls in or orders online gets a call-back before we make their pizzas. No exceptions. Even phone orders.

A timed order comes in to be picked up at four pm. No problem. Then, a few moments later, it is voided: “Did not answer, could not confirm. Do not make.”

The boss recognises the lady — she’s a regular — so on the off chance this was just a mistake, we make the pizzas but put them in the cooler, ready to go in.

Four pm rolls around, and she’s not there. Four fifteen, not there. We are about to use the pizzas for other orders when she comes in at about 4:25. When we explain we don’t have the pizzas in because of lack of confirmation, she gets upset — not at us, mind you, but at the situation. She has a birthday party! She’s in a hurry!

I explain that pizzas were made, and we can have her order ready in seven minutes. After a few moments of reassurance, she departs, to return in “exactly seven minutes.”

The pizzas come out — we bumped them ahead of a few others — we cut them, box them up, and put them on the heater as fast as we can. By now it is about 4:35.

And we wait… and wait… Finally, at around five, she strolls in, just as I am about to mark the pizzas for “immediate sale.”

So much for being in a hurry.

Not Enough Meat Between Their Ears

, , , | Right | July 15, 2018

(I work evenings, sometimes alone at the pizza store. I don’t mind. It’s fun, and I prefer working alone. I have two young gents come in, about sixteen or so years old. They ask me about doing a half-and-half pizza, and I say yup, they just have to tell me which things are on which side!)

Customer #1: “Okay, can I have a meat-lover’s on one side and deluxe Hawaiian on the other?”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t split a specialty pizza. Just gets too complicated. But I can do, say, pepperoni-bacon on half and ham-pineapple on the other.”

Customer #1: “Oh, okay.”

(A few more minutes of discussion happen. I try to excuse myself as I hear the printer popping out deliveries, but they insist that they are ready to order. Then, the other asks.)

Customer #2: “Half and half, right?”

Me: *smiling as I nod patiently*

Customer #2: “Okay. Can I get half meat-lover’s, half deluxe Hawaiian?”

Smoke Break Sending The Wrong Smoke Signals

, , , | Right | July 13, 2018

(I work in a pizza place. I’ve been trying to quit smoking for a few weeks, but on slow days at work I tend to break and have one or two cigarettes on shift. On a break, I stand outside, at the front corner of the building so that I can be ready if a customer pulls in. My husband works odd jobs for the owners of the store, and frequently visits while I’m working. One day he visits twice, and I take a break with him both times — once at 1:30 pm, and again at 5:00 pm. About two drags into the second break, a customer arrives, so I put my smoke out and take care of them. When they leave, I go back out to finish. I receive a forwarded text conversation from the owner the next day.)

Customer: “I was on my way to [Next Town Over] at 1:30, and I saw your worker girl in [My Town], standing outside smoking with her boyfriend. We returned to [My Town] at five and she was still outside smoking with her boyfriend. She followed us in, washed her hands — THANK GOD! — and made our order. She then followed us out the door and LIT ANOTHER CIGARETTE! That girl needs to be fired!”

Owner: “I spoke to [My Name] and have cleared the matter up. She will no longer take smoke breaks in view of the road, and has apologized for any offense given. She has been trying to quit, and is very upset that this has affected someone other than herself.”

Customer: “I find it hard to believe she’s trying to quit if she’s out there all day, chain smoking.”

Owner: “I cleared that up, as well. She had two, separate smoke breaks at 1:30 and 5:00, and the third smoke break you witnessed — when she “followed you out” — was actually her relighting the same cigarette about five minutes after you’d left the store.”

Customer: “We weren’t even in our car! Five minutes, my a**!”

(They had gone next door to buy drinks before getting into their car.)

Owner: “In any case, I have no grounds on which to fire her. She’s one of our best workers. In fact, she is indispensable. She has apologized, taken steps to avoid future problems, and is very upset about the whole thing. I hope this won’t affect your opinion of her, because she really is a great girl and has really good customer service skills.”

Customer: “I also have a problem with her boyfriend hanging around all day. She can’t be getting anything done with that distraction.”

Owner: “He’s actually her husband, and also employed by me. They work very well together on the rare occasion I have them work together, and I’ve never had problems with things not being done on her shifts. I am aware he visits frequently and have no problem with it.”

Customer: “I just find it all very unprofessional. I see it so often in little, small-town businesses. They are all so casual and laid-back, and it’s terrible for business.”

Owner: “Actually, our regulars really enjoy our casual, laid-back atmosphere. I’ve found that most small-town folks enjoy a small-town attitude. As for unprofessional treatment, do you have a complaint about [My Name]’s customer service? Was she inattentive or dismissive? Was your order wrong? I’ve never known her to be anything but bright, courteous, and thorough.”

Customer: “So, you’re telling me you’ll do nothing about this incident? Smoking is disgusting, and having her boyfriend around all day is even worse! I want something done about this.”

Owner: “I have addressed the issue. I spoke to [My Name], clarified the situation, and she herself has taken steps to avoid further complaint. I see no reason to drag this out any more. I don’t like to harass my employees about something that’s already been addressed. That’s how you lose workers.”

Customer: “Good. I want her fired.”

Owner: “I’m not going to do that.”

Customer: “Then you have lost a customer.”

Owner: “If that’s what you feel you need to do, I can’t stop you. But I won’t fire my best employee simply because one person wants me to.”

Customer: “And that’s why your business is going to fail. I have a business degree, and I know how it goes. You won’t last a month here.”

(The business has already been thriving in this town for almost a year. This is a first time/last time customer who is clearly just having a bad day.)

Owner: “I’m sorry about your experience, ma’am. I’d love to keep your business, but some people just can’t be pleased. I hope you enjoyed your pizza. Have a nice life!”

Customer: “I’m a guy!”

(The owner and I had a little laugh about it later.)

Within Spitting Distance Of An Outrage

, , , , | Right | July 3, 2018

(I work at a small but very popular pizza restaurant in Daytona Beach. We do not have managers, only owners who do not show up until five am, so we’re basically all our own managers. During spring break, around 2:30 am, we have a lot of phone calls, who have all selected loud and very bass-y songs to be playing in the background. I am working with two other people that night. I am currently running a credit card and taking an order on the phone at the same time, and I can barely hear the call. All of a sudden I hear:)

Customer #1: “HEY, B****! I’m talking to you!”

Me: *puts phone on hold and looks up at the angry lady* “Yes, ma’am, I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you over the person on the phone — who I was dealing with before you — and they also had extremely loud music. How can I help you?”

Customer #1: “All I want is my f****** slice cut in half!”

Me: “All right, let me take that back and get it cut for you. I’ll be back in just a few seconds.”

Customer #1: “NO. I know what b****es like you do with customers’ food, especially with how snippy you’re being. You’ll spit in our food!”

Me: “Okay, first of all, I would not risk getting a felony over your rudeness. What would you like me to do for you?”

Customer #1: “Just give me a plastic knife; I’ll cut it myself!” *she struggles for a couple of minutes to cut pizza with a plastic knife while I finish my phone calls* “HERE, B****! HAVE YOUR F****** PLASTIC KNIFE!”

(I roll my eyes, take a deep breath, and go help my coworker take the next customer.)

Coworker: “What was that lady on?”

Me: “No idea.”

(The next customer comes up.)

Customer #2: “I’ll have two slices, and please spit on them!”

(We all laughed. Now, every time he comes in, he asks us to put some “special sauce” on his food.)

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