Pizza So Good It Knocks You Back

, , , , , | Right | February 27, 2019

(There’s a small gate you have to go through to reach the door to my apartment. It’s really squeaky, so I can tell when someone’s coming to the door. On this particular day, I’ve ordered pizza, and I happen to be near the door when I hear the gate. I open the door before the pizza guy knocks. Unfortunately, my face ends up right where he’s about to knock, so he knocks on my forehead.)

Pizza Guy: *going dramatically pale* “Oh, my God! I just punched you in the face! I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean—“

Me: *laughing* “It’s okay, really. It didn’t even hurt. I probably shouldn’t have opened the door before you knocked, but I could hear the gate.”

Pizza Guy: *hopefully* “So… You don’t want to speak to my manager?”

Me: “No, there’s no need for that. I know you meant to knock on the door, not my face. Do I need to sign anything for the pizza?”

Pizza Guy: “Oh! Yeah, here you go.”

(The pizza guy looked incredibly relieved that I wasn’t going to cause any trouble over it. From then on, I made sure to wait to open the door until the person knocked.)

Pizza Name Calling

, , , , | Working | February 25, 2019

(A popular pizza chain is having a promotion where most of their pizzas are heavily discounted, but only with pickup rather than delivery. Anticipating that the store might be annoyingly crowded because of the sale, I place my order online, thinking it will be a quick in and out that way. I keep a close eye on their online tracker, and as soon as it indicates my pizza should be done, I head over to the store, which is just a one-minute walk down the block I live on. It’s a small location, and it is completely PACKED with probably close to fifty high-schoolers and college kids, all placing orders in-store and then waiting for them, from the looks of it. I awkwardly elbow my way through them towards the pickup counter.)

Me: “Hi. Here to pick up the [pizza] for [My Name]? According to your online tracker, it should be done.”

Worker #1: “No, doesn’t look like it is, sorry. The tracker isn’t accurate right now because of the rush.” *immediately starts to turn towards the next person*

Me: “Wait, sorry, but are you sure? It does also say, ‘Ready for pickup,’ for my order on your in-store screen, right here. Could you double-check, please? The order for [My Name]?”

Worker #1: *taps the computer screen* “Yeah, no, they’re only just starting to prepare that one, so it’ll be another ten- to fifteen-minute wait. It’s just really busy right now. Next, please?”

(I wait, standing right beside the pickup counter, since the crowd is very loud and I’m worried I might miss them calling out my name, otherwise. Ten minutes go by, then fifteen. Lots of names are being called out for pizzas that are done, eventually including people I saw come in and order in-store after I was already there. Every other minute or two, [Worker #2] will also repeat a list of orders that have been ready for a while but not picked up yet. It’s approaching the twenty-minute mark, and my name has not once been called yet, so I’m just about to go up again and investigate, when…)

Worker #2: *checks* “I also still have the order for [Other Girl that has been called at least six times now]? [Other Girl]?” *no response from the crowd; the worker sighs* “And then I also still have the pizza for [My Name]? [My Name], has she finally arrived yet?!”

Me: “What? I’ve been standing right here for the past twenty minutes, and this is the first time you’re announcing my order!”

Worker #2: *defensively* “Your name was called as soon as it was done.”

Me: “And I might not have been in yet at that exact time since I ordered online, but why didn’t you repeat it even once when you’ve been repeating all the others?”

Worker #2: *now outright annoyed* “Well, why did you just silently stand there, instead of coming to the counter yourself once you came in?!”

Me: “Because that’s exactly what I did, and she—“ *points to [Worker #1]* “–told me it would be another fifteen-minute wait!”

([Worker #1] and [Worker #2] turn to each other and share a brief “deer in headlights” look.)

Worker #2: *still grumpily* “Well, it’s hectic, okay? Look, you have your pizza now, so just go home and enjoy it.” *turns to the next person*

(Obviously, I was annoyed, both at the unnecessary wait and [Worker #2]’s complete lack of apology and attitude like I was just another typical NAR customer. However, it WAS pretty chaotic in the store, and both workers were probably between 15 and 18 years old, so I also felt bad for them and decided to let it slide. But then, I finally got home with my now-lukewarm pizza, opened the box, and found that it had onions on it, even though I specifically requested them off on the order form because I’m allergic. That pushed me over the edge, and I sent in a complaint to corporate after all. A few days later, I received an apology where they admitted some of their locations couldn’t properly keep up with the extra demand from the promotion, and they were sending me a coupon code for a free pizza so I could give them another try when they were less rushed, at their expense. Fair enough, so I decided to give them another chance a week later. I tried to place an online order… and discovered that the coupon actually worked as a BOGO deal, where I’d have to purchase at least one pizza myself to qualify for my complimentary pizza. This is where I just gave up and vowed to not buy from this pizza chain again.)

About To Get A Flood Of Complaints

, , , , , | Right | February 21, 2019

(The town is experiencing severe tropical storms and has several roads flooded in. Our shop stays open because our location is generally accessible. With regularly updated broadcasts of which roads have been flooded and are inaccessible, we keep a close eye to manage our delivery service. I am managing a busy shift where most customers are just grateful to have some food available to them. I notice one of my staff looking worried while on a phone call. I motion to her to ask if she needs help, and she nods yes before politely excusing herself from the customer and saying that her manager is on hand to help her. I take the phone and immediately hear a hysterically, loud woman rudely saying that she just wanted to place an order for delivery, with what sounds like a bunch of kids playing and screaming at each other in the background.)

Me: “Of course, ma’am. Can I start with asking what address you would like that delivery to?”

Customer: “[Street]! I told the other girl already! Why can’t you f****** idiots do anything right?!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. This storm has been going for two days, and your road has been flooded in. We have no way of getting our drivers to your house.” *thinking quickly that I would try to help by taking the delivery out myself and convert this lady into a happy customer* “However, if you could drive down the road to the opposite side of the flooded section, we could get the driver to walk across and hand you your order.

Customer: “I’m not going anywhere! Why should I have to leave my house for a delivery order?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure how you think we can get the order to you. Your house is located over three kilometres from the flooded section, with no other way in. We really should not be delivering to you at all, but I understand that you have a difficult–”

Customer: “Do you do deliveries?!”

Me: “Um, yes?”

Customer: “So why can’t you deliver to me?!”

Me: “Um, because there is a flood on your road and it has been closed off to vehicles.”

Customer: “How hard is it to do your f****** jobs?! You either deliver or you don’t! This is f****** bulls***! I’ve got five hungry kids here, and how am I supposed to feed them? This f****** rain has flooded our road in and we can’t drive out to the f****** shops to get any food!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry that we couldn’t help you today. Here’s the number to [Competitor].” *who we know, like most other businesses in town, is not trading during the severe weather* “I hope that they can help you out today.”

Customer: *click*

(Of course, the lady calls back about forty-five minutes later after possibly trying every other delivery service in town.)

Customer: *pretending to not have called at all earlier* “Hi, can I get a delivery to [address], please? I know the road is flooded in, but we can meet you halfway down the road.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we can do that. However, it is very busy right now and there is a four-hour wait on all delivery orders.” *not true*

(The politeness evaporated, and I got a satisfying chance to return the favour of hanging up while she continued to curse a blue streak.)

Make Meat-Loving, Not War

, , , | Right | February 21, 2019

(A man comes up to the counter.)

Me: *usual greeting* “What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “A pizza.”

Me: “Sure! Which one would you like today?” *gesturing at the secondary menu right in front of him on the counter*

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know! A pizza! Any pizza! I don’t care!”

Me: “Well, everyone likes a little something different. Is there anything you like or don’t like in particular?”

Customer: “A PIZZA! A PIZZA! How hard is it to order a f****** pizza?!” *throws his hands up in disgust and looks around like everyone in line should feel sorry that I am making life so difficult for him*

Me: “Okay… Well, how does a BBQ meat-lovers’ pizza sound to you? It’s got pepper—“

Customer: “Yes! Okay! Whatever! You people… Just hurry up already.”

Me: “Okay, that will be [total], and we will have your order ready for you in ten minutes.”

(I ask the team to rush this gentleman’s order, as he seems to be a little bit difficult. I rush the pizza over to the gentleman where he is waiting, give him his order with a friendly smile, and wish him a good evening. The customer comes back ten minutes later, and throws the half-eaten pizza over the counter where it splatters all over our display cabinets.)

Customer: “This is disgusting! I want my money back! You guys are despicable, rotten mongrels! How do you run a business ripping people off like this?! I’m a vegetarian, and I hate BBQ sauce! You fed me meat! I want your name, and I’m going to get you fired, you stupid idiot! You’re so stupid that you won’t even have this dead-end job by the end of the day!”

(I am the owner of this store. Because it was rush period, I calmly told the gentleman that he wouldn’t be getting his money back because he refused to answer any questions about what he wanted, and that if he didn’t leave immediately, the police would be here from their station just on the corner to handle his “refund.” It took a few minutes to get him out of the store, still ranting and raving. We offered free drinks or desserts to the customers who had to witness the event, but every customer brushed off the offer, saying that it wasn’t our fault, “some people are just miserable b*****ds,” and that “we should charge everyone extra for the entertainment while they waited.”)

H2-So Much!

, , , , | Right | February 19, 2019

(I’m a manager at a small regional chain of takeout- and delivery-only pizza parlors. I’m manning the till one night as this exchange happens:)

Customer: “Carryout for [Customer].”

Me: “Sure thing. One large three-topping pizza. Sausage, bacon, and black olives.”

Customer: “That’s right.”

(At the till, we sell single cans of pop and bottles of water, with the prices clearly marked. Because pop is in higher demand and we sell a lot of it, our supplier gives us a small discount, and it ends up being two cents cheaper per can versus a bottle of water.)

Me: “Would you like to add any drinks to your order?”

Customer: “Sure, let me have one Coke, one Sprite, and a bottle of water.”

Me: “All right, one large three-topping, two cans of pop, and a water. Your total comes to $19.72.”

(The transaction has been pleasant up until this point. The customer pays and looks at her receipt.)

Customer: “You overcharged me for the water! The bottle of water is more expensive than the cans of pop!”

Me: *trying to keep the mood light-hearted* “I know it’s crazy, but we get a small discount from our supplier for the pop, because we sell so much of it, so we can sell it two cents cheaper versus the water.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me?! That is so wrong! Water is a basic human right, not to mention the healthier choice, and you’re charging me more for it.”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you. The markup percentage is the same, so we’re not making any more money on the water than we are the pop.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I’m calling the Better Business Bureau! I don’t think what you are doing here is even legal!”

(The customer stormed out, leaving behind her pizza and drinks, which she’d paid for.)

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