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How Hard Is It To Be Civil?

, , , , , , | Working | April 8, 2022

My friends and I were in Las Vegas for the weekend. We stopped at a pizza place and ordered a large pepperoni and sausage pizza. The cashier told me it would be fifteen minutes, so we took a seat. Everyone else filtering through the shop ordered single slices, so they came and went while my friends and I waited.

Finally, after thirty minutes, the cashier pulled a whole pepperoni and sausage pizza from the oven and put it in a box. I stood up and walked to the pick-up window.

The cashier looked up at me and down at the pizza, and then he turned and put it down behind the counter before turning away from me.

Me: *Politely* “Excuse me?”

The cashier pulled out his phone.

Me: *Louder* “Excuse me?”

He stepped further away.

Me: *Yelling* “EXCUSE ME!”

Cashier: *Turning around* “You have to order down there!”

He pointed to the cash register.

Me: “I did!”

I held up the receipt and pointed at the box.

Me: “I believe that’s my pizza you just put back there.”

Cashier: “Did you order a pineapple and ham?”

Me: “No, I ordered a large pepperoni and sausage, just like that pizza you just put over there.”

I handed over my receipt. The cashier looked at it, rolled his eyes, and grabbed the pizza. He dropped it on the pick-up counter and walked away.

Me: “Seriously?”

Cashier: “You got your pizza, okay?”

He waved me off.

Me: *Sarcastically* “Oh, thanks so much!”

My friends and I took our pizza and left. It was good but not worth the money we paid and the attitude.

You Can’t Threaten The Life Of Someone Who Is Dead Inside

, , , , | Right | April 1, 2022

I’m delivering pizzas and I get one on the southern border in an area I haven’t been to before. The note says to honk twice when I’m outside. I arrive and realize there are no streetlights around, making my headlights the only way I can see and do what the note says. Two guys walk out in front of me and one guy walks behind my car.

Guy #1: “Give me your money and the pizza.”

I’m tired, and I know I only have $20 on me as is company policy.

Me: “Your total is [amount]; do you need any bills broken?”

Guy #1: “Didn’t you hear me?”

Me: “Your total is [amount].”

Guy #1: “I’m just joking around. How did you know I wasn’t gonna rob you?”

Me: “You’re not the first person to joke around like that.”

After six months of delivering in that area, a total of six people had joked about robbing me, and one guy actually tried.

The First Time In The History Of Anything That Pizza Didn’t Solve A Problem

, , , , , | Right | March 28, 2022

I am a cook in a restaurant that has a display kitchen, meaning that you can see me if you are in the dining room. To reach the display kitchen, you have to walk through the bar and cocktail lounge. We are still under health restrictions that prevent us from using the full capacity of our dining room; hence, our menu is limited to a smaller number of items than usual. There is still a decent variety of items on it.

A woman comes bustling into the restaurant, ignores the bartender and servers who try to offer to help her, and comes up to me.

Me: “Hi, can I—”

Customer: “Do you have food? Where’s your menu? Let me see a menu.”

I step over to the bar, grab a menu, and return and hand it to her.

Customer: “This is all?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Our menu is limited as we are not yet able to open fully.”

Customer: “Ugh! Fine!”

She looks at the menu for a few moments.

Customer: “What is this? What does POD stand for?”

Me: “That’s our Pizza of the Day. Today’s is—”

Customer: “WHAT?! Y’ALL GOT PIZZA?! AAAUUUGHH!”

She throws her head backward and her arms up, then waves her arms down at her sides in a very exaggerated display of frustration, and then practically runs out the door.

Me: “I’m… sorry we have pizza?”

We also had appetizers, salads, pasta, and sandwiches. I’m still not sure why pizza being included was so anger-inducing.

Giving Them A Pizza Your Mind

, , , , , | Right | March 16, 2022

I work at a gas station that sells pizzas. You can either buy a whole pizza or we sell them cut into quarters. It’s late in the day when my manager receives this call.

Customer: “I came in earlier today and I got one of your pieces of pizza and it was absolutely disgusting. It tasted like cardboard.”

Manager: “I’m sorry abou—”

Customer: “I need you guys to make me two whole pizzas to make up for your mistake.”

Manager: “I can offer to either replace the piece or give you a refund, but I’m not going to give you—”

Customer: “Do you even know who this is? I’m [Customer]. I come in there every day and get a piece of pizza, and this is how you are treating me?”

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m not sure who you are. We have a lot of regular customers.”

Customer: “Oh, my God. I come in with [Friend], and we get [Pizza Brand #1] and sit in the cafe and eat. Everyday.”

Manager: “We don’t sell [Pizza Brand #1]. You want the store on—”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”

Manager: “We sell [Pizza Brand #2]. Have for over ten years. We’ve never sold [Pizza Brand #1]. The only [Gas Station] that sells that brand is the store on [Street]. Call them.”

The customer huffed and hung up the phone. My manager called the other store and warned them about the upcoming phone call. They just laughed and said they knew who she was, and if there was a problem with her pizza, she should have said something while she was eating it. I don’t think she was going to get her free pizzas.

So Much For That Perfect Ten

, , , , , | Working | March 15, 2022

Years ago, I used to work at a pizza restaurant making minimum wage. It was time for my first review a year after working there. Lo and behold, I got a PERFECT SCORE in their points-based review system. My raise was to be twenty-five cents an hour, the top raise they would give. Even though it was a minimum-wage job, I still prided myself on being a hard and valuable worker. My manager was a good guy and recognized how valuable I was to him and the restaurant. Then, this conversation happened.

Manager: “Looks like you’re getting the twenty-five-cent raise. However, corporate policy says that if we do your review before it’s time to, you only get 20% of that raise.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Manager: “Yeah. That means you are getting a five-cent raise.”

Me: “Oh. Why didn’t we just wait, then?”

My manager gave me some answer that I don’t really remember. What I believe happened was that our overbearing, bossy, and all-around horrible human being of a district manager — he threw a pizza against the wall when he didn’t like how it looked — pressured my manager into doing that so the company would save money on me. I could tell that my manager didn’t have the spine to try to stand up to him. 

I went home that night and spoke to my wife.

Me: “I got a raise.”

Wife: *Sarcastically* “What was it? Ten cents?”

Me: “No. Five.”