Don’t Worry; Pizza Makes Everything Better

, , , , | Right | November 26, 2018

(I’m the dopey customer. I ordered a pizza and soda for lunch — nothing unusual so far. I see the driver pull up, so I go to the door and open it so he doesn’t have to ring or knock. I keep trying to take the thermal bag from him, not grabbing it, just holding my hands out toward it. He’s trying to hand me the soda, and then the penny drops.)

Me: “You give me the soda, and then a box comes out of there?”

Driver: “Long day?”

Me: “Yes.”

Driver: “Hopefully the pizza makes it better.”

Unfiltered Story #127589

, , | Unfiltered | November 23, 2018

I work at a small pizza place in a small town. We’re right next to the highway that runs through us and we’re in between a few larger towns. We also happen to be right next to a cheap motel, so we get a lot of people stopping in late at night to order pizza.

Our largest size, Jumbo, isn’t very popular so we only have it in our most popular crust, our thick crust.

During this exchange I’m the only one in the store.

Husband and wife walk in.

Me: “Hi! You guys here to place an order or pick one up?”

Husband: “We’re gonna place one and then wait and then pick it up.”

Me: “Alright, do you guys know what you want to order or do you need a few minutes to look?” (I’m hoping they need to look as I have other pizzas to make.)

Husband: “Yeah we’re ready to order!”

Me: “Great! What can I get for you?”

They start looking over the menu again and asking eachother what they think sounds good. They clearly don’t know what they want.

After about a minute,
Me: “Still need a few minutes to decide?”

Husband: “No no, we’re ready. What’s your largest size?”

(I point to the signs we have hanging on the wall right behind me listing what sizes we have and how many slices they come in. Each sign also shows the size of the pizza.)

Husband: “Oh okay, so jumbo is your biggest size?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Husband: “And does that come in the buttery crust?”

Me: “No, sorry. Our jumbo size only comes in our thick crust.”

Husband: “So I can’t get the jumbo in the buttery?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry sir. Our jumbo size only comes in our thick crust, not in the buttery crust.”

Husband: “But what about the buttery crust?”

Me: “The buttery crust only comes in small, medium and large.”

Husband: “So I can’t get the buttery crust for the jumbo size?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Husband: “But why not?”

Me: “Our jumbo size only comes in our thick crust. It’s not very popular of a size so we only have it in our most popular crust.”

Husband: “Oh okay, do you guys have any specials?”

Me: “Yes we do! They’re right here on this whiteboard.”

(He takes notice to one with two medium pizzas with two toppings each, for $9 each. After talking it over with his wife, they decide on that one.)

Husband: “Okay, we’ll do that two medium special. Let’s get two larges on-”

Me: (Knowing I need to hurry this up, I still have pizzas to make) “I’m sorry sir, the special is with two mediums.”

Husband: “So I can’t get two larges for $9 each?”

Me: “No, sorry. It’s two mediums for $9 each.”

Husband: “Well I’m confused. I’ll do two mediums on the thick crust with canadian bacon and black olives.”

After the whole ordeal with the jumbo size not in buttery, he didn’t even want the buttery crust.

How Dare You Not Work In Your Spare Time?!

, , , , | Right | November 13, 2018

(I work in a local pizzeria as a dishwasher and phone orders. I am waiting for my takeout food to be ready after my shift. I’m in flip-flops, with my hair out of my ponytail, but I’m still in my uniform, sitting quietly and reading my book.)

Customer: *pokes me* “Excuse me. Can I get some service?”

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m currently clocked out, but my coworker will be happy to assist you.”

Customer: “But you’re just sitting here!”

Me: *irritated* “I’m sorry; I cannot assist you.”

Customer: *yells to my coworker* “Get me your manager!”

Coworker: “Um, okay…” *gets the manager*

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Your employee refused me service!” *points at me*

Manager: “She’s off the clock.”

Customer: “Well, that’s no excuse!”

We Take Cash, Credit, And Intense Stares

, , , , , , | Working | November 6, 2018

(I’m at a pizza shop for lunch. I order my food, and everything is fine until it comes time to pay.)

Counter Guy: “$6.85.”

Me: “Do you take credit cards?”

Counter Guy: *glaring at me* “$6.85.”

Me: *thinking maybe he didn’t hear me* “Do you take credit cards?”

Counter Guy: *continues to glare at me, saying nothing*

(I then handed him my credit card, and he completed the transaction without a problem, albeit silently, not even responding when I said thank you. I fully understand that some merchants prefer not to accept credit cards for smaller purchases — that’s my only guess as to why he may have been upset — but usually they’ll politely inform the customer instead of just giving dirty looks. If the guy had just told me he preferred payment in cash, I would’ve gladly done so.)

Unfiltered Story #124761

, , | Unfiltered | November 4, 2018

I work for a rather famous pizza chain across North America, but my territory covers most of southern Texas. As part of the position, we are required to offer things on the menu as a form of up-sell. Offering extra cheese is one of the easiest ways to meet this requirement. This was in the middle of taking an order.

Customer: I would like a large cheese pizza!

Me: Would you like extra cheese for $2 more?

Customer: (sounding completely offended) NO! You people should put enough cheese on your pizzas already!

Me: And would you like any other pizzas today?

Customer: Yes, I’d also like a large supreme with extra cheese.

Me: *sigh*

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