Dose You Has Patience?

| OH, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I work delivering pizzas and tonight we get slammed. One driver has called off so we currently only have two drivers and there are only two insiders to make all the food. Apparently one customer has been standing up front waiting for a little while, with a clear view of all the orders to be picked up/delivered. I guess they got tired of waiting and left a note:)

Note: *quoted exactly* “If anyone had bothered to came up you would have had our order, but now Dominos dose.”

(Yes, bad grammar and spelling included, and I don’t think anyone cared that we lost one sale considering the wait time for deliveries was currently running about an hour-and-a-half, and even pickups had to wait at least half-an-hour.)


Ultimately Wrong

| Hopkins, MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(This is for the great waiter who was smiling and polite through this whole exchange.)

My Mom: “Oh, I know exactly what I’d like!” *points in menu at full description of sandwich, including picture* “The veggie sandwich!”

Server: “Oh, the ultimate veggie, great! Anything else?”

My Mom: “No, that will be perfect. I’ve had it before!”

(Time passes, food arrives.)

My Mom: “Oh, no, no. This isn’t what I wanted! I ordered the ultimate veggie sandwich!”

Server: “Ye-es. What seems to be the problem?”

My Mom: “Last time it was different. I wanted different bread. And is there mayo? No mayo. And no onions. I hate onions!”

Me: *head in hands*

Server: “No problem. I will be right out with that.”


Pizza For Medicinal Purposes

, | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work at a pizza place, whose phone number is very close to the local doctor’s office.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello, I need to place an appointment for my son.”

Me: “Ma’am, I believe you have a wrong number. This is the pizza place.”

Caller: “What? Can’t you just transfer me to the office in [Town]?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but this is the pizza place. We have no association to the doctor’s office, so I can’t transfer you there. The number for the doctor’s office is [number].”

Caller: “Oh. Can I order a pizza?”


Codeword For Stupid

| St. Paul, MN, USA | Food & Drink

(I deliver pizzas. Customers in apartment buildings would often forget to tell us what their security code was. This happened on a busy Saturday night before I had a cell phone.)

Me: *calling from a nearby pay phone* “This is the driver from [Pizza Restaurant]. I need your security code.”

Customer: “We’re at [Address].”

Me: “Okay. I need to know the security code.”

Customer: “We’re in [Apartment Number].”

Me: “I still need the security code so I can let you know when I arrive.”

Customer: “Maybe you don’t know where the front of the building is?”

Me: “I know where the front of the building is. I need to know what numbers to push when I get there.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s [code].”

(I arrive at the apartment a minute later and buzz the apartment. The customer emerges from an apartment a few doors down from the entrance.)

Customer: “It’s about time. What took so long?”


Trying To Make Cents Of His Math

| TX, USA | Food & Drink, Money

(I work as a pizza delivery man and have just knocked on the customer’s door.)

Customer: “Hello.”

Me: “Good evening! Your total will be $25.90.”

(I exchange the pizzas for two $20s.)

Customer: “Just give me $15 back.”

(Thinking he was going to use the ones or a five as a tip I hand him the $15 he requested back only to have the door closing on my face.)

Me: “Excuse me, you still owe $0.90!”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Yes, sir, you gave me $40 on a $25.90 order and asked for $15 back. I assumed you had change to give me since you would still owe the $0.90.”

Customer: “Oh! Sorry, here take a dollar and keep the change.”

Me: *completely fake smile on my face* “Thanks. Have a great evening.”

Page 3/2312345...Last