They Must Have Misunderstood Her Delivery

| CA, USA | Food & Drink, Transportation

(We get a large delivery order for a wealthy building near NYU. A couple, two white people that looked to be in their late 40s in expensive clothes, answer the door. Behind them there is a buffet set up and people mingling.)

Woman: “Hi! Come on in!”

(I enter, putting my bags on the table. I’m about to tell them the total, but they wave me off.)

Woman: “How do you know [Host]?”

Me: “I don’t. I’m the delivery girl.”

(They laugh.)

Man: ”We know [Host] from the English department.”

Woman: “Well, I knew her at Columbia undergrad, so way back!”

Me: “Sure. I’m studying English at Hunter.”

Man: “Great! Here, let us take your coat. What’re you drinking?”

(I keep my coat and have a beer. We talk about what a drag it is reading “Heart of Darkness” every semester. The host appears.)

Man: “[Host], do you know [My Name]? She’s at Hunter studying English.”

Host: “Are you John’s girlfriend?”

Me: “No, I’m the delivery girl.”

Host: *laughs* “Have some food! Let me know when [Pizza Place] gets here. They’re always so slow Friday nights.”

Me: “[Pizza Place] has a lot of customers; it’s nothing personal. It’s [Total], and I figure I already drank my tip.”

(They laugh again, but now the host is confused. He can see the bags splashed with my restaurant’s logo behind me.)

Host: “You’re with [Pizza Place]?”

Me: “Yes. It’s [Total], please.”

(She leaves to get her purse. The couple smiles at me awkwardly and then wanders off. I pocket another beer. The host gives me $80 and good wishes for my finals. I still like to treasure the looks on their faces today!)

They Are Streets Ahead Of Your Scam

| LA, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(This is back when pizza shops had a “30 minutes or less” delivery guarantee. An order comes in for a pizza and a drink to be delivered to East 4th Street. I get to the address in plenty of time and it’s the wrong house.)

Me: *calling the office* “Can I just verify the address?”

Office: “Yeah, it’s East 4th Street.”

Me: “That’s where I went and it was the wrong house. Can you call the customer to verify the address?”

(The customer verifies that the address is East 4th Street. I knock on a few doors to no avail, give up and drive back to the office. I check the map and find an East 4th LANE. On a hunch, I head over there. Sure enough, it’s the customer.)

Me: “That will be [total].”

Customer: *arguing* “No way! You’re late and I want the order for free.”

Me: “Afraid not, as it’s your fault for repeatedly giving us the wrong address.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah? Want to come inside and ‘talk about it?!’”

Me: “I don’t think so. Are you going to pay me or not?”

(He refused. I flipped open the pizza box, grabbed a slice, and started eating it in front of him, turned and got in my car and head back to the office! When I got there, I told the boss what I did and he told me that I will have to pay for that order. It cost me $1.00 and that was the last I heard about it.)

Olive To Regret That

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Food & Drink

(I am working with my sister, and she is taking an order over the phone.)

Sister: “And will you be paying with cash, credit, or debit?”

(She pauses as the customer answers.)

Sister: “And just to make sure, that was black olives, not green, right?”

(She finishes taking the order.)

Sister: “I asked her if she wanted black olives instead of green to make sure I got the order right, but she just shouted “CASH!!” at me. I hope she likes black olives.”

An Extra-Large A**-Hole

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(The pizza shop where I work has several in-store specials, including $11.99 for a large combination. Unless a coupon or special says otherwise, it’s $2 to upgrade to an extra-large pizza. A regular customer comes in after placing an order over the phone. He is always a little curt and slightly drunk, but I’ve never had a problem with him before.)

Me: “Okay, you had an extra-large combination pizza. Anything else today?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “That comes to $13.99.”

Customer: “They said it was $11.99.”

Me: “The special is $11.99 for a large, and $2 for an extra-large.”

Customer: “But he said $11.99 on the phone! I spoke to [New Coworker], and he said $11.99!”

Me: “It’s possible he was confused. It’s $11.99 for a large combo, and $2 to upgrade to extra-large.”

Customer: “Look, I asked him twice. I wrote it down!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but it’s always $2 more for an extra-large. It’s on the poster in the window. If [New Coworker] said $11.99 for an extra-large, he was mistaken.”

Customer: “I wrote it down!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but—”

Customer: “Do you want me to leave the pizza here? I’m walking away.”

(I turn to my manager, who’s working nearby.)

Me: “Uh, what should I…?”

Manager: *quietly* “Just give it to him. It’s okay.”

Me: *to the customer* “Okay sir, $11.99. Sorry about the confusion.”

(The customer says nothing and hands me his credit card. The machine processes and asks to print a receipt.)

Me: “Thank you, sir. Would you like your receipt today?”

Customer: *annoyed* “No.”

(I finish the transaction and close the register.)

Me: “Okay, have a good day, sir!”

Customer: “Can I get a receipt?”

Me: “…”

Won’t See A Single Slice Of That Refund

| Columbus, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work for a one location pizza shop. A woman calls and orders a pizza and a salad and spends around fifteen minutes ordering, price checking, and deciding on her personal pizza and salad. My driver returns and ten minutes after she calls.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Pizza Shop] Pizza! Will this be for pickup or delivery?”

Woman: “Neither. I got a pizza from ya’ll and there’s a problem.”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that! How may I assist you?”

Woman: “See, when I ordered, I thought ya’ll were [Chain Pizza Shop].”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Woman: “So, yeah, I don’t want this. Send the driver back with my money.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t do that.”

Woman: “Why not?”

Me: “I answer every phone call with our shop’s name. You ordered from us; we fulfilled your order. Our transaction is done.”

Woman: “I must not have heard you. I don’t want this, though.”

(This continues on in this manner for another few minutes while my driver is stand there watching me incredulously.)

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. I will not send my driver out with a refund. This shop has never been [Chain Pizza Shop], this phone number has never been associated with [Chain Pizza Shop]. There is not a [Chain Pizza Shop] for ten miles.”

Woman: “I want to speak with your manager.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager.”

Woman: “I want speak with your supervisor.”

Me: “That’s me right now.”

Woman: “Well, who’s above you?”

Me: “That’d be our owner. He’ll be here at 11 am tomorrow morning.”

Woman: “What’s your name?”

Me: “My name is [My Name], ma’am.”

Woman: “Well, I’m going to call him and tell him how rude and unhelpful you’ve been.”

Me: “You tell him whatever you feel you need to, ma’am. Have a great night!”