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Pizza For Medicinal Purposes

, | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work at a pizza place, whose phone number is very close to the local doctor’s office.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello, I need to place an appointment for my son.”

Me: “Ma’am, I believe you have a wrong number. This is the pizza place.”

Caller: “What? Can’t you just transfer me to the office in [Town]?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but this is the pizza place. We have no association to the doctor’s office, so I can’t transfer you there. The number for the doctor’s office is [number].”

Caller: “Oh. Can I order a pizza?”

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Codeword For Stupid

| St. Paul, MN, USA | Food & Drink

(I deliver pizzas. Customers in apartment buildings would often forget to tell us what their security code was. This happened on a busy Saturday night before I had a cell phone.)

Me: *calling from a nearby pay phone* “This is the driver from [Pizza Restaurant]. I need your security code.”

Customer: “We’re at [Address].”

Me: “Okay. I need to know the security code.”

Customer: “We’re in [Apartment Number].”

Me: “I still need the security code so I can let you know when I arrive.”

Customer: “Maybe you don’t know where the front of the building is?”

Me: “I know where the front of the building is. I need to know what numbers to push when I get there.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s [code].”

(I arrive at the apartment a minute later and buzz the apartment. The customer emerges from an apartment a few doors down from the entrance.)

Customer: “It’s about time. What took so long?”

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Trying To Make Cents Of His Math

| TX, USA | Food & Drink, Money

(I work as a pizza delivery man and have just knocked on the customer’s door.)

Customer: “Hello.”

Me: “Good evening! Your total will be $25.90.”

(I exchange the pizzas for two $20s.)

Customer: “Just give me $15 back.”

(Thinking he was going to use the ones or a five as a tip I hand him the $15 he requested back only to have the door closing on my face.)

Me: “Excuse me, you still owe $0.90!”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Yes, sir, you gave me $40 on a $25.90 order and asked for $15 back. I assumed you had change to give me since you would still owe the $0.90.”

Customer: “Oh! Sorry, here take a dollar and keep the change.”

Me: *completely fake smile on my face* “Thanks. Have a great evening.”