Try Not To Vegetate On It For Too Long

| MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’m in the kitchen making pizzas when my boss comes back and tells me that an order she just sent back requested that we use a clean knife and cutting board to cut her pizza with because she is vegan and doesn’t want her pizza to come into contact with something against her diet. This is not an unusual request so I give her a thumbs up. A few minutes later I get to the ticket.)

Me: “Hey, [Boss]? It was ticket number 62 that was the vegan ticket, right?”

Boss: “Yeah.”

Me: “Ticket 62… The cheese stuffed pizza with extra cheese?”

Boss: “Yeah…”

Me: “…”

The Lie-To-Yourself Diet

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Me: *answering phone* “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. This is [My Name]. Can I interest you in two large pizzas with up to five toppings and a pop for only $22.99?”

Customer: “No, I don’t need that much. I’m on a diet.”

Me: “Okay. What can I get you tonight?”

Customer: “Can I get a large veggie pizza, but hold the mushrooms, black olives, green peppers, and onions, and add sausage, beef, bacon, Canadian bacon and pepperoni.”

Me: “Okay, that would just be a meats pizza with tomatoes.”

Customer: “No, I’m on a diet. I need a veggie pizza because of my diet. but hold the mushrooms, black olives, green peppers, and onions, and add sausage, beef, bacon, Canadian bacon and pepperoni.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Your total will be $11 and we will have it ready in 15 minutes.”

(I rang up the order the way she wanted it but told my coworkers that it was just a meats pizza with tomatoes.)

The Answer Rings True

| Hamlin, NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(It’s late at night, probably an hour after our normal closing time, and our phone rings.)

Employee: “Hello, [Name] Pizza.”

Caller: “Hi, I’d like to place an order?”

Employee: “I’m sorry, we’ve been closed for about an hour.”

Caller:  *annoyed tone* “Well, why did you answer the phone, then?”

Employee: “…because it rang?”

(The caller burst into laughter and proclaimed that was the best answer he’d ever heard.)