Car-Tipping

| WI, USA | Right | August 18, 2016

(It’s late at night, and I’m out delivering pizza. I’m driving a relatively small car.)

Customer #1: “Oh, what a cute car! [Customer #2], come look at it!”

(Customer #2 comes out to look.)

Customer #1: “Can we take a picture of it?”

Me: “I guess.”

Customer #2: “Take a picture of me on it!”

Customer #1: “Yeah!”

(The next door neighbor now opens their door.)

Neighbor: “I’ll take the picture!”

(Customer #1, Customer #2, and Neighbor run down to my car. Customer #2 then lies on top of it, for Neighbor to take pictures of.)

Customer #1: “We’re not tipping you enough for this, are we?”

Me: *having given up on existence, just shrugs*

Medium-Sized Demands

| Spain | Right | August 12, 2016

(We get a call five minutes before closing.)

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to order one pizza, medium-sized! But it must be medium, okay? I won’t accept it if it’s not medium! It MUST be medium-sized!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, medium-sized. All clear.”

Customer: *after a few seconds still rambling about the size* “The toppings will be extra cheese, extra pepperoni, extra mushrooms, extra pepper, extra onion, extra chicken, extra tuna, and extra corn. Did you get that? But it MUST be medium-sized! I won’t accept it if it’s not medium-sized! And make sure it’s cooked dry; I won’t accept it any other way.”

Me: *confused, trying to take note as fast as I can* “Uhm… yes, ma’am, sure. Would you like anything else?”

Customer: “Yes, give me two meat lasagnas, two spinach lasagnas, chicken nuggets, french fries, and six bottles of water. Oh, and put the lasagnas in pizza boxes. They MUST be in pizza boxes! I won’t accept them if they’re not in pizza boxes! Read what I asked for.”

(I read her the receipt with all she asked for.)

Customer: “Okay, but the pizza MUST be medium-sized, okay? And bring some napkins. And the bottles of water must be separated in two different bags! I won’t take them if they’re in the same bag!” *click*

(Later, my manager told me that she would call three random days a week, always five minutes before closing, and she’d always ask for the same, but changing certain small details so we couldn’t know beforehand what she’d ask for.)

Reliving The Same Slice Of Life

, | Poolesville, MD, USA | Working | July 21, 2016

(I go to the local pizza place.)

Me: *places order*

Cashier: “Okay, will there be anything else?”

Me: “Nope.”

Cashier: “May I have a name?”

Me: *gives name*

Cashier: “Is it for here or to go?”

Me: “For here.”

Cashier: “Will there be anything else?”

Me: “You already asked that.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry; I meant, can I have a name?”

Me: “You already asked that as well.”

Cashier: *laughing from embarrassment* “I’m sorry. I meant is that for here or to go?”

Me: *face-palming at this point* “Again, you already asked that. You are just repeating yourself.”

Cashier: “I’m so sorry. I’ve had a really long day.”

Peppered With Stupidity

| Stillwater, MN, USA | Right | July 14, 2016

(I work at a pizza place and answer phone calls. This is one that happened on a busy Saturday night.)

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. How may I help you?”

(I can barely hear him but he seems to go off on a rant right away.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, I didn’t catch that. Could you please speak up?”

Caller: “I just f****** told you.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I couldn’t hear you.”

Caller: “I ordered a f****** pizza with banana peppers and got green peppers.”

Me: “Okay, sir, what was the address?”

(The caller gives address and I look up the receipt.)

Me: “All right. On the ticket it says green peppers. Was this an online order or did you call?”

(He tells me he ordered online so I find the online ticket and sure enough, green peppers.)

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, I can’t do anything for you. You ordered green peppers online and that’s what you got.”

Caller: “F*** you!” *hangs up*

Slaving Over The Customer Service

| MO, USA | Working | July 12, 2016

(I’m meeting a friend of mine for lunch at a local pizza place that has a small dine-in area. I’m having a terrible day at work and I’m running a little late. I ask my friend to go in early and order and find a place to sit. When I arrive, there is an employee at the counter who smiles and greets me.)

Worker: “Hi! Welcome to [Pizza Place]. What can I get for you today?”

(I quickly glance around and find my friend at a nearby booth.)

Me: *pointing at friend* “Just him, thanks!”

Worker: *without missing a beat, her smile never leaving her face* “I’m sorry,  sir, but [Pizza Place] bylaws expressly state that the buying and selling of humans on [Pizza Place] property is strictly forbidden. Could I offer you a small beverage instead?”

(My friend and I, as well as a few other customers, had a good laugh about that. On my way out I slipped the employee a tip and thanked her for making my day.)

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