Caller: “Do you have any specials?”
Me: “We have a $5 pizza special.”
Caller: “Oh, how much is the $5 dollar special?”
Me: “That’s… $5.”
Caller: “You sure?”
Me: “Pretty sure.”
Caller: “Okay. I’ll call back.”
They hung up. A minute later the phone rings:
Caller: “How much is the $5 dollar special?”
Me: “Still $5.”
Caller: “How did you know it was me calling back?”
Me: “Lucky guess.”
They ordered chicken wings.
Customer: “I want a pepperoni with ham and pineapple, and a pepperoni with pepperoni and mushroom.”
Me: “So, a pepperoni, ham, and pineapple, and a double pepperoni with mushroom?”
Customer: “No! Listen! I want a pepperoni with ham and pineapple, and a pepperoni with pepperoni and mushroom.”
Me: “A ‘pepperoni with ham and pineapple’ is pepperoni, ham, and pineapple, yes?”
Customer: “No! You’re not listening! I—”
Just then a woman rushes in after this customer and speaks over him.
Customer’s Wife: “Sorry about my husband. I hadn’t realized he’d walked up to order. We’ll take a ham and pineapple, and a pepperoni and mushroom, please.”
Me: “No problem. I was getting a little confused.”
Customer’s Wife: “He… uh… calls Pizzas ‘Pepperonis.’ Sorry about him.”
Customer: “No! They just weren’t listening! I—”
Customer’s Wife: “—let’s just go sit down, dear. You know how grumpy you get without your pizza.”
I work in a pizza takeout, but we do have a small table to the side of the counter for those who want to sit and wait.
We have a regular family (a mom, a dad, and a ten-year-old boy) who come by once a month on a Friday on the dad’s payday for a treat. The family actually dines in at the table. The boy absolutely loves it, and we always make sure he gets some extra toppings since he’s always so well-behaved.
One day, we see the boy come in all by himself, which is strange.
Boy: “Hi. My mom and dad are sad today, so I thought I would get them pizza!”
Me: “Oh, that’s really nice of you.”
Boy: “I’ve been saving my allowance, and I wanted to get what we normally get?”
He hands over almost $15 in nothing but quarters.
Boy: “That’s enough for a medium, right?”
Me: *With my heart breaking* “Uh, technically, yes, but we’re having a special today. Regular customers get a free large pizza if they’ve eaten ten pizzas with us before!”
Boy: “But… but we’ve eaten way more than ten pizzas!”
Me: “I guess that means you get two! I’ll get you two large pizzas. Just wait right there!”
I called out the order to the back, and when I turned around, my heart found out it could break even more. The boy was in the process of putting ALL his quarters into the tip jar! I stopped him, told him we had enough tips already, and got him to help me with the crossword in the newspaper until his pizzas were ready. I think I got most of his quarters back to him, and he went out with the pizzas.
I found out on their next visit that the mom’s sister had just been diagnosed with a bad illness and that’s why they were sad, but she realized what I had done and tried to pay me back. I told her that raising such a fine young man was more than enough.
The sister made a full recovery, and the boy is now a fine teenager who works here at weekends and brings pizzas home to his parents every Friday!
Related:
A Hot Slice Of Kindness, Part 6
A Hot Slice Of Kindness, Part 5
A Hot Slice Of Kindness, Part 4
A Hot Slice Of Kindness, Part 3
A Hot Slice Of Kindness, Part 2
This story is part of the Best-Feel-Good-Stories Of-2023 roundup!
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I’m a manager, and I work graveyard shifts at a privately-owned pizza place. The past week has just been full of stupidly crazy people.
One night, we get a call from a woman asking for a manager. I take the call.
Customer #1: “I’m having an allergic reaction to your pizza.”
Me: “…Okay, um, what did you order?”
Customer #1: “A medium supreme pizza.”
Me: “Well, that pizza has eleven toppings on it. What exactly are you allergic to?”
Yes. Eleven toppings!
Customer #1: “MSG!”
Me: “Well, considering MSG is in just about everything, I really don’t know what to tell you…”
The customer hangs up. The customer calls back five minutes later.
Customer #1: “I’m still having an allergic reaction!”
Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s really nothing I can do for you…”
Customer #1: “Well, what do I do? I could die!”
Me: “Umm… Seek medical attention?”
Another hang-up. Another call.
Customer #2: “I got a pizza yesterday, and I had a major allergic reaction to it!”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. What was your order?”
Customer #2: “The Deathbringer Special with extra hot peppers.”
I’m speechless for a moment.
The Deathbringer Special is one of those pizzas that’s available only because some of the locals believe that if it doesn’t blow the tastebuds out of the back of your skull, then it’s bland. The dough is made with jalapeno juice. The cheese is pepperjack. It has specially made, extra spicy, pepper-infused sauce, and it is topped with several different kinds of extremely hot peppers. It’s disturbingly popular and is ordered often enough to have its own special spot on the menu.
There is literally no part of this that isn’t infused with pepper.
The policy encourages employees to wear a mask and gloves while slicing some of these. The spot where this pizza is made is specially set aside from the rest of the food prep to avoid contamination. There’s an eye rinse station specifically set up near the prep area.
The fact that she ordered this AND asked for extra (i.e. more) hot peppers on top says that she should be incapable of speaking without setting things on fire for the next three months.
Me: “Um, okay, what were you allergic to?”
Customer #2: “Peppers.”
Me: *Pauses* “You ordered a pizza that has peppers as an ingredient in literally every part of its preparation, knowing that you were allergic?”
Customer #2: “And your point? What are you going to do to make up for your incompetence?”
Me: “Uh, give you some advice, I guess? Maybe if you’re allergic to something, you should stay away from it? Just a thought.”
I hung up on her angry squawking. I documented both incidents and saved receipts just in case basic stupidity escalated to legal stupidity. We DO have the necessary allergy warnings and ingredients posted, as well.
This crap only seems to happen at 4:00 am.
I drive for a food delivery app service. I get a delivery was to a basement apartment that doesn’t have its own exterior entrance. I check the notes from the customer
Customer: “Go around to the back of the house; look for the broken window.”
I have to hand them the food through a broken window that has a piece of plywood leaning on it.
Customer: “Thanks! I don’t want to disturb the people upstairs; they’ve already gone to bed.”
Creeped me out! I had my finger hovering over the emergency call button the entire time.
