A Sprinkle Of Stupidity

| Salem, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a pizza place that often allows customers to switch out ingredients, as long as they are not adding any extra.)

Customer: “I want the all meat with no sausage, add bacon, and add green pepper.”

Me: “Great, sir. We can take the sausage off, but unfortunately I can only add one other ingredient. You’ll have to choose which one you’d like.”

Customer: “What if I add bacon but only get a spritz of green pepper?”

Me: “You’d still be getting one too many.”

Customer: “What about a dash?”

Me: “Sir, the manner in which we apply the ingredient won’t make any difference.”

That’s The Way The Cookie Slices

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Holidays

(My family runs a small pizza place. A nearby family has been regular customers for about ten years now. The phone rings Christmas Eve.)

Me: “[Pizza Place], how can I help you?”

Regular Customer: “Oh, sorry, I entered the wrong code on speed dial. Have a nice night.”

(Five minutes later, she shows up with a plate of cookies! The phone call had been a ruse to confirm we were open that day.)

Regular Customer: “You always give us such great food. We thought we’d mix it up a bit.”

A Habitual Hazard

| Saratoga, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I’m throwing myself in for this one. I call in an order to a local pizza shop. They have a family special which gets you a large pizza and twenty wings. I also work at a chain pizza shop.)

Employee: “[Pizza Place], how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, I’d like the family special, please. Pizza just cheese, honey barbecue for the wings, and then another order of ten hot wings, extra saucy.”

Employee: “Okay, so the family special, cheese for the pizza, honey barbecue wings, and ten hot wings?”

Me: “Yeah. Anything else?”

Employee: “Wait, what?”

(We both pause, then immediately crack up laughing. I have just asked the woman taking my order if she wanted anything else.)

Me: *through my laughter* “Oh, my god, I’m so embarrassed! I work at a different pizza place and that was just habit!”