Driving Out The Lies

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I’m a manager; however, we’re short staffed so I’m helping with deliveries. After taking a delivery I get this call. I’m a girl.)

Customer: “I have a complaint about the service I received tonight. The delivery guy cussed me out and I had to chase him down the street to get my food. He also refused to give me my change. It was cold and over an hour late. I want my money back, my pizza remade, and a gift card.”

Me: “Oh, wow! I am so sorry. I’ll be glad to help, but first can I have your address and a description of the driver?”

(She gives her address, and says the driver was a tall guy. She ‘couldn’t see too well in the dark’ for a better description.)

Me: “Okay… Well, I’d be happy to help, but first would you like to change your story? I don’t quite believe it.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?!

Me: “First of all, a guy answered the door. I was your driver tonight and I certainly don’t recall any of this occurring. Can you explain once more why you need a gift card?”

Customer: “…oh, s**t.” *hangs up*

Not So Closed Minded, Part 8

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am the opening manager. Every morning my duties include powering on the lights, setting up the dining room, and putting our A-frame sign out on the sidewalk. Due to customers attempting to get in before we open, I always reserve these tasks for last. My boss could never understand why, until today…)

Boss: “If you just get it done first thing, you don’t have to worry about it and you can get started on preparing the fresh food!”

Me: “I’d advise against it… Can we at least leave the lights off to help discourage people from coming in?”

(My boss agrees, but it’s clear he doesn’t see why I’m so hesitant to set up the dining area. He takes all the chairs down, and goes to put the sign out on the sidewalk despite the fact that we aren’t open for another hour and a half… and a customer immediately walks in behind him. It’s about 9:30 am.)

Customer: “I want [hot meatball sandwich]!”

Boss: “Unfortunately, we aren’t open yet, sir. You came in right behind me as I was putting our sign out.”

Customer: “Then make me a [pizza]!”

Boss: “Sir, we aren’t open yet. Our ovens aren’t even on. They take time to heat up, so right now I can’t cook you anything! Even if I could, I don’t have most of the ingredients prepared. If you want a salad, I can make an exception. Those aren’t hot and they don’t take long. But I can’t cook anything.”

Customer: “What!? Why won’t you sell me a god-d*** pizza?! Your sign is out! Your lights are on! I demand you sell me a pizza!”

(My boss and the customer went back and forth a few minutes longer, and eventually the customer leaves in a huff.)

Me: “And THAT is EXACTLY why I don’t set up the dining room until just before we open!”

(I was never again scolded for doing those tasks last!)

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 7
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5

The Fall Of The Call

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. What can I get you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I want a large pepperoni pizza, no pepperoni, and six orders of fries.”

Me: *click*

(Five minutes later:)

Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I want a dozen cheeseburgers, hold the cheese, and four fries.”

Me: *click*

(Five minutes later:)

Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Do you have gum?”

Me: “No, but I do have caller id, and will be giving your number to the police if you call here again.”

Caller: *click*