Cheaper Than The Sum Of The Sum

| KS, USA | Working | June 12, 2014

(The local pizza chain in a small college town has a 10% discount for college students and employees. It was one of the places we’d often go to for lunch. Normally we’d each pay for our own meal, but on this day my coworker asks if I could cover for him since he forgot his wallet.)

Me: “I had the pizza buffet and a drink, and I’m also paying for [Coworker]’s buffet and drink. We work at the college and should get the 10% discount.”

Cashier: “Okay, so the it’s two buffets and two drinks, and each of you gets a 10% discount, so that’s 20% total discount. Your total is [amount].”

Coworker: “Um…”

Me: “Wait, that’s not how it works. The discount is only 10%.”

Cashier: “Yes. You each get 10% off, so that’s 20% total. You owe [amount].”

(Not knowing how to argue with that logic, I paid, and on the way out the door joked with my coworker.)

Me: “We need to bring the entire department out and maybe some others. If we got 10 people, everyone’s meal would be free! Would they even pay us if we brought 11 or more?”

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Watered Down Purchase

| Dallas, TX, USA | Right | September 10, 2013

Coworker: “Here they come.”

Me: “Who?”

Coworker: “The ‘Drink Ladies From Hell.'”

(Five women and their five-year-old daughters enter. The kids are wearing ballet outfits, and clearly have just come from dance lessons.)

Woman: “Five waters, to go, please.”

(We fill up five Styrofoam cups of water, at no charge. The women plant themselves at a table and talk for about an hour. The kids run wild through the restaurant, pulling napkins from other tables, spilling salt and pepper, and just generally making a mess. They do this every week for more than a year. To my knowledge, they have never spent any money with us.)

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Staff Have Trouble Written All Over Them

| USA | Working | September 9, 2013

(My uncle and I are Maori, and from New Zealand. We’re visiting the USA. A Ta Moko is a Maori tattoo that more or less tells your story. My uncle has a full face Ta Moko, while I just have Ta Moko on my arms. My uncle and I are visiting a pizza shop; there’s only two teenagers working currently at the registers.)

Uncle: “We’ll have two large pizzas, both pepperoni.”

Cashier #1: “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.”

Uncle: “Pardon? What is our kind?”

Cashier #1: “You tattoo freaks, with your weird designs and green colors.”

Uncle: “We’re not ‘tattoo freaks’; these happen to be Ta Mokos, which are of the Maori culture.”

Cashier #2: “Just shut up and leave; stop making excuses for being druggie tattoo freaks.”

Me: “Pardon? We’re not making excuses. Maori is a real thing; Ta Mokos are special types of tattoos that are special to the Maori culture, and by saying that being of the Maori culture is just an excuse for drugs, then that’s discrimination against a race, and of course it’s against regulation to not serve customers just because they come from a race that is different from yours.”

Cashier #1: “Yeah right, just leave and stop trying to be all cool and druggie.”

Uncle: “Get your manager, now.”

Cashier #2: “Fine, but he’ll just tell you the same thing.”

(The manager comes out and apologizes, saying that he was actually planning to visit New Zealand and is fascinated by the Maori culture. We end up getting a pizza for free, and it was fresh and delicious! Kind managers make up for the terrible employees.)

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