Just Mildly Stupid

, | Rochester, New York, USA | Food & Drink

(I’m taking a phone call for the pizzeria I work at. Everything is going fairly normal until the customer places an order for wings.)

Me: “Okay, would you like you boneless wings or traditional wings?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “Well, traditional wings are bone-in and boneless wings don’t have bones in them.”

Customer: “Whatever, I just want them mild.”

Me: “Okay, would you like that in our mild BBQ or mild buffalo sauce?”

Customer: “No, just mild.”

Me: “We carry a mild BBQ and a mild buffalo. Which could I get for you tonight?”

Customer: “No! I just want your traditional mild!”

Me: “Okay, that’s one order of mild buffalo–”

Customer: “NO! Just MILD!”

Papa’s Not Home

, | Niceville, FL, USA | Food & Drink

(This takes place between my manager and a customer over the phone.)

Caller: “Hey, is John there?”

Manager: “Sorry sir, this is [pizza place]. There’s no John here.”

Caller: “Stop playin’, John, we’re supposed to go to the movies soon.”

Manager: “Sir, seriously, this is [pizza place]. I think you may have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Well, crap! Do y’all have any deals?”

Manager: “Well, you can get a large 3 topping and a 2-liter for $10.60.”

Caller: “D***, that’s better than John!”

Manager: “Yes, sir, it sure is.”

A Slice Of Self Entitlement

| St. Paul, MN, USA | Food & Drink

(The pizza shop I work at sells cups for the fountain soda machine where you fill your drinks yourself. Like most restaurants, we also offer special cups for customers who haven’t purchased a drink.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Your machine is out of [soda brand]. Go back there and change it immediately!”

Me: “Well, I am sorry but we are out [soda brand] and we won’t be getting anymore until tomorrow. All of the other sodas work fine, though.”

Customer: “Then I want a refund!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

Me: “Because that’s a water cup.”