Selling Dimes On The Company’s Dime

| MO, USA | Working | May 23, 2013

(I’m closing with a new coworker. A group of customers who knows him comes in and orders a pizza.)

Coworker: “Hey, do you mind if I go out to my car real quick? I was supposed to give these guys something and I don’t know when I’ll see them next.”

Me: “Yeah, no problem.”

(He follows the group out and they have a quick exchange by his car. I’m fixing up the one or two call in orders so I’m not paying much attention.)

Coworker: “Thanks for that. I really needed some extra cash, so I sold them a dime bag. What do you need me to do?”

(I had no idea how to respond to that!)

No Business Being In Business

| Kansas City, OH, USA | Working | May 21, 2013

(My husband and I decide to order pizza from a place which going out of business. I walk in with my infant son in his carseat. Although there are four girls at the counter, not one pays attention to me for a good ten minutes. Finally, I speak up.)

Me: “Excuse me.”

Girl #1: “Ugh, what?! Can’t you see I’m talking?”

Me: “Uh, I’m here to pick up a pizza.”

Girl #2: “That’s, like, not our job.”

Me: “Well, can you get the person who’s job it is?”

Girl #2: “Fine! Gawd!”

(She storms off to the back, while her friends roll their eyes at me. My son starts to get fussy, so I reach down to play with him. I have a very large tattoo across my shoulders, memorializing my parents who died in a car crash.)

Girl #1: “Do you see that piece of s*** on her back?!”

Girl #3: “Oh my god.”

Girl #4: “Ha! No wonder she’s so rude. She’s a f***ing goth!”

Me: “Who the f*** do you think you are, little girl.”

Girl #4: “You can’t talk to me, li—”

Me: “The h*** I can’t! You and your friends have been nothing but rude since I got here! And I—”

(A large man appears. His name tag says manager.)

Manager: “Ma’am you can’t talk to my employees like that.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Manager: “These girls are the best employees I’ve ever had.”

Me: “If they are, no wonder this place is closing. I will be taking my business elsewhere.”

Manager: “YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THE FOOD!”

(I leave anyway. The store closed not long after that, and guess which four girls decided to apply at my restaurant? I may have been rude, but those girls should never work in food service!)

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Give Pizza A Chance

| Merseyside, England, UK | Right | April 5, 2013

(A customer calls for a pizza delivery.)

Customer: “I want a large pizza with all the toppings.”

Me: “We’ve got over 30 different kind of toppings; which would you like?”

Customer: “All of them; I’m starving.”

Me: “A pizza with 30 toppings isn’t going to taste very nice.”

Customer: “I don’t care; I’m starving. I want all the toppings.”

Me: “One of the toppings is sliced banana; do you want that one?”

Customer: “Ugh! Banana? No, not on a pizza. Okay, leave that off.”

Me: “Do you like olives?”

Customer: “Er, no. None of them.”

Me: “Anchovies?”

Customer: “What are they?”

Me: “Small strips of dried, salted fish.”

Customer: “Ugh, no!”

(We repeat this for 25 more items.)

Me: “So, that’s a ham and mushroom on a thin crust, with you in 30 minutes.”

Customer: “Er, yeah. Thanks.”

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Flying Off The Pan-Handle

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Right | March 28, 2013

(My coworker and I work in retail, but we are the customers in this story. We decide to hang out at her place after work. I order some pizza, and pick it up on the way to her house.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [name], and I’m here to pick up my order.”

Assistant Manager: “I am terribly sorry, sir. There has been a mistake with your order. We’re trying to fix it as soon as we can.”

Me: “Oh, dear. What happened? If it’s the wrong toppings, I’ll still take it.”

Assistant Manager: “No, sir, unfortunately one of our staff members accidentally gave your order to another customer. I am very sorry about this. We’ve just remade your order, and it’ll be done in just a couple of minutes.”

Me: “Okay, that’s fine, I totally understa—”

My Coworker: “WHAT?! I can’t believe you let this happen!”

Me: “Whoa, calm down, [coworker]! People make mistakes, and it’s not going to take very long.”

My Coworker: “No! I will not calm down, this is an outrage!”

(My coworker addresses the assistant manager.) “I demand that we be compensated for this inconvenience! I can’t believe they let you be assistant manager around here!”

Me: “Hey, hey, time out! I’m the one paying here, so you have no right to talk to him like that!”

Coworker: “No, the customer is ALWAYS right! He should throw in a few extras for free!”

Me: “Okay, if he did that, our order is gonna take even longer.”

(Not even one minute after our short argument, our pizzas get brought up to the front. I pay for exactly what I ordered, no more, no less, and we leave. On the way back to my car, my coworker is still muttering.)

Coworker: “I still think we should’ve gotten some free breadsticks or something.”

Me: “Listen. You work in customer service too. You go through the exact same s*** he does, and I know YOU wouldn’t tolerate customers who fly off the handle like you just did. I am not impressed with the blatant hypocrisy you just displayed.”

Coworker: “No, this is different! Our customers think they’re always right! In my case, I actually am!”

Me: “Normally, I’d make you walk home for saying such a dumb comment, but I really don’t want to expose your current state to the general public.”

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Let Me Give You A Pizza My Mind, Part 3

| Sunnyvale, CA, USA | Working | February 26, 2013

(My boyfriend and I ordered food from a popular pizza chain and have already finished our meal. At about 11 pm we receive a phone call on his cell phone from an out of state number, saying that this is [popular pizza chain] and that they are sending someone in 5 minutes to pick up our uneaten food. Knowing that this is a prank, my boyfriend hangs up. The prankster then calls back two more times, swearing at us and threatening to come to our house to take whatever he wants. My boyfriend calls the pizza place to talk to the manager.)

Boyfriend: “Hi, I need to speak with a manager.”

Worker: “He’s busy right now.”

Boyfriend: “One of your employees just called and threatened me. I need to speak with your manager!”

Manager: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Boyfriend: “Do you have anyone working there named Gary? Or someone with a phone number from [different state]?”

Manager: “No, we do not. ”

Boyfriend: “Well, I just received a threatening phone call from a guy named Gary, stating to be from [popular pizza chain], saying that he was going to be at our house in five minutes to collect our uneaten food. He had my name, phone number, address, and credit card information.”

Manager: “Oh yeah, that’s my bad. It’s just a prankster, so don’t worry about it.”

Boyfriend: “Don’t worry about it?! This guy has all of my information and could be a crazy person! How did he get my information?”

Manager: “Well, someone called saying they were from corporate and wanted all of the information for the most recent orders.”

Boyfriend: “So you just gave it to him without checking that he was really from corporate?”

Manager: “We’ve been busy all night! I don’t have time to check about that!”

(We had to call and file a report with the police and cancel our credit card. What made it even worse is when we contacted corporate about this breach in security, their response was, “Well, we can’t do anything about it because it’s a franchised location.”)

Related:
Let Me Give You A Pizza My Mind, Part 2
Let Me Give You A Pizza My Mind
Giving A Pizza My Mind

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