Sub-Standard Sub-Service

| Fairfield, OH, USA | Working | November 30, 2013

(I am attending an event next door. I order a steak sub to go. I leave for a moment, and return just before my order is ready. The employee calls out my name. Before I can get to the counter another customer rushes up, grabs the bag, and walks out. The employee immediately disappears into the kitchen area. The customer comes back in with the sub unwrapped, slams it down on the counter, and yells.)

Customer: “I ordered BREADSTICKS! You ALWAYS mess up my order!”

(The employee looks at it, puzzled. I chime in.)

Me: “That’s because it was my order.”

Employee: “Oh.” *hands it to me* “Well, take it then.”

Me: “I’m not interested in taking a sandwich that another customer has already unwrapped and mangled.”

Employee: “If it was your order why didn’t you take it?”

Me: “She beat me to it. Shouldn’t you double check that it’s the right person grabbing the bag?”

(The employee sighs, and apologizes to the breadstick customer, but not to me.)

Employee: *wearily* “Now I’m going to have to re-make the sub.”
Me: “Well, yeah…”

(I’m starving, and also missing more of the event next door than I’d planned to miss just to grab a sandwich. The customer gets her breadsticks, with another apology, and leaves. Finally I get my sandwich; with no apology, of course. As I walk out, I hear the employee.)

Employee: “Geez, we made her sandwich twice and she didn’t even say thank you.”

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This Customer Can Go Truck Himself

| Boise, ID, USA | Right | November 18, 2013

Caller: “I want to order pizza. I’m f***ing hungry.”

Me: “Okay, let’s get your details. What’s your address?”

Caller: “Exit 49.”

Me: “Um, that’s not a complete address. Unfortunately, I can’t complete an order unless it has a complete address, due to the POS system that we have installed.”

Caller: “I’m in a f***ing semi, and I’m f***ing hungry. GET ME A F***ING PIZZA!”

Me: “Unfortunately, I can not complete your order unless you have a complete address. Perhaps you could come pick it up instead?”

Caller: “Well, F*** YOU! I’m in a F***ING SEMI and I’m F***ING HUNGRY! There is no F***ING way I’m driving my F***ING truck all the way out there!”

Me: “Unfortunately, I can not help you there. Besides, Exit 49 is outside of our delivery area. Have a good day, sir.”

(The caller hangs up immediately and I quickly inform my manager. The caller calls back less than a minute later.)

Caller: “I want to order pizza. I’m f***ing hungry!”

Manager: “Were you the one who called earlier, asking for a delivery to a semi?”

Caller: “YES! And the other chick wa—”

Manager: “She does not get paid enough to deal with a**holes like you, and frankly, neither do I. Have a good day!” *click*

Go Truck Yourself

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Their Jobs Are As Stuffed As Their Crusts

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Working | October 21, 2013

(Business has been slow lately due to the opening of another, candidly better pizza place across the highway, and I’ve got a pretty good idea that we’ll be going out of business soon. I go to talk to my boss about it.)

Me: “Hey [Boss], you know I see all the receipts when I close, so I’ve got a pretty good idea where we stand.”

Boss: “Yeah, it’s not been good lately. But we’ll pull through!”

Me: “Okay, but if we ever did have to close down, I’d appreciate it if you’d let me know in advance. I won’t leave you in the lurch, and I promise to stick around to help you close out, but I’d like to at least have the warning so I can figure out my next move.”

Boss: “Sure thing. I’ll give you at least a couple of weeks warning.”

Me: “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

(Literally two weeks later, I get a call from a buddy at the comic book store next door.)

Friend: “Hey, what’s with the moving van in front of the pizza place?”

Me: “What? I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.”

(I call the store. My boss answers.)

Me: “Hey [Boss], what’s with the moving truck in front of the place?”

Boss: “Oh, ah, well, after seeing the receipts for last night I knew we couldn’t keep going, so…”

Me: “So you managed to somehow decide to close down, go get a moving truck, and start taking everything out of the store all in the same day?”

Boss: “Um, yeah.”

(Irritated, I call up the other employees and we go down to make sure we get our final paychecks. The boss pays us in cash, and we part ways. A few days later, I get another call from my friend at the comic book store.)

Friend: “Hey, you should come down here. We’ve got a bunch of cops here looking for [Boss]!”

Me: “What?! Why?”

Friend: “Well, apparently when he moved out, he took the pizza oven and a bunch of other stuff with him, and they were on lease from [Pizza Chain’s] home office!”

(The pizza oven in question? It weighed over a thousand pounds and I was certain that it had no wheels. I have no idea how in the world he managed to get it out of there or who the heck would buy it!)

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And To Topping It All Off…

| Lubbock, TX, USA | Working | August 12, 2013

(I am ordering a pizza.)

Employee: “Hello! Can I take your order?”

Me: “Yes, I would like a large pizza with pepperoni and sausage.”

Employee: “So, you would like a large pepperoni pizza?”

Me: “No, I would like a large pepperoni and sausage pizza.”

Employee: “So, you want a sausage pizza too?”

Me: “No, I want one large pizza with pepperoni and sausage.”

Employee: “So, that’s two large pizzas?”

Me: “No! I want one pizza. One large pizza. This one large pizza that I want will have two toppings. These two toppings will be pepperoni and sausage.”

Employee: “Okay. I got it.”

(Naturally the employee messed up my order and made two large one topping pizzas, one with pepperoni and one with sausage. I started online ordering my pizzas from then on.)

Give Them An Inch And They’ll Drive A Mile

| Aurora, IL, USA | Right | July 17, 2013

(I’m a shift manager at a pizza chain. There are other stores miles away from us, and we all have our own areas that we deliver to. The areas don’t overlap, and we can’t deliver somewhere outside our area.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [pizza place]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “Delivery.”

Me: “Okay, can I get your phone number please?”

(The caller gives me a phone number and I can see we’ve never taken an order from him before, at least not under that number. I ask for his name, and he gives it to me.)

Me: “Can I have your address please?”

(He gives me an address, which I recognize to be in another store’s area.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; your address is in another store’s delivery area. I can give you their number, it’s—”

Caller: “But I called THIS store.”

Me: “Yes, but we can’t deliver to you. However, [sister store name] can. I have their—”

Caller: “Why can’t you deliver to me?”

Me: “All of our stores in the region have specific areas that they can deliver to. You’re in another store’s area.”

Caller: “Well, can you just put a different address in and then deliver it to my address?”

Me: “No, sir, we can’t do that for safety reasons. I’d be happy to give you the other store’s number, though.”

Caller: “What, do you think I’m going to rob you? I want to speak to a manager!”

Me: “Speaking. I’m the manager on duty tonight.”

Caller: “No, you’re not. Last time I called I talked to a guy.”

Me: “We have more than one manager working here; I just happen to be working tonight.”

Caller: “Oh. Well, what if I gave the driver more money? Then could you deliver to me?”

Me: “No, we still can’t.”

Caller: “Fine! This is horrible service! I’m going to call and complain about you!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. I can give you our 1-800 numbe—”

Caller: “I’ll just come pick it up. I want a large pepperoni.”

Me: “Sir, the other store is closer to you; I’d be happy to give you their number.”

Caller: “No! You’re just being lazy! I want a large pepperoni!”

(I give up and take the customer’s order. A while later he shows up and asks for his order. I get his order and go to cash him out.)

Caller: “I want a discount for having to drive so far! You guys should build a store closer to me!”

Me: “I’m not giving you a discount; I’m the one who took your order, and I tried to give you the number of a store that’s closer to you several times!”

Caller: “Oh. Well… you should have been clear about it!”

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