Cheaper Than The Sum Of The Sum

| KS, USA | Working | June 12, 2014

(The local pizza chain in a small college town has a 10% discount for college students and employees. It was one of the places we’d often go to for lunch. Normally we’d each pay for our own meal, but on this day my coworker asks if I could cover for him since he forgot his wallet.)

Me: “I had the pizza buffet and a drink, and I’m also paying for [Coworker]’s buffet and drink. We work at the college and should get the 10% discount.”

Cashier: “Okay, so the it’s two buffets and two drinks, and each of you gets a 10% discount, so that’s 20% total discount. Your total is [amount].”

Coworker: “Um…”

Me: “Wait, that’s not how it works. The discount is only 10%.”

Cashier: “Yes. You each get 10% off, so that’s 20% total. You owe [amount].”

(Not knowing how to argue with that logic, I paid, and on the way out the door joked with my coworker.)

Me: “We need to bring the entire department out and maybe some others. If we got 10 people, everyone’s meal would be free! Would they even pay us if we brought 11 or more?”

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Pizza Pie Meets Pizza Fry

, | NJ, USA | Working | June 8, 2014

Me: “Can I have two plain slices of pizza and a side of fries?”

Waiter: “Sure.”

(I wait. He comes back, but with two slices of pizza with fries on them.)

Me: “Um…”

Waiter: “Is something wrong?”

Me: “I ordered two slices and fries.”

Waiter: “Oh, my god, I’m sorry!”

Me: “Don’t worry about it. Mistakes happen.”

Waiter: “You sure?”

Me: “I’m sure.”

(I am only able to eat one because it was filling, but it did taste great. Now whenever I get the same waiter, he makes sure I want my pizza and fries separate.)

Makes You Wanna Pop

, | Southfield, MI, USA | Working | June 2, 2014

(I work as a delivery driver for a major pizza chain. I have an exchange between me and one of the managers.)

Me: “We’re getting seriously low on pop in the cooler.”

Manager: “What about the pop cooler?”

Me: “We’re getting seriously low on pop. The cooler needs to be filled.”

Manager: “What’s wrong with the pop cooler? Is it broken?”

Me: “No! The cooler is fine! We are getting extremely low on ALL pop!”

Manager: “What do we need in the pop cooler?”

Me: “… Duck…”

Manager: “There should be plenty in the walk-in.”

Me: “… Duck? Seriously…?”

Manager: “Yeah, we’ll get it. Take your delivery.”

(A half hour later, after my return from a delivery:)

Manager: “Hey! The pop cooler is empty! Why didn’t you tell me?”

Living In Her Own Pizza Pie In The Sky

| UT, USA | Right | May 28, 2014

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Will this be for take out or delivery?”

Customer: “Hi. Um, can I get a large pizza with pepperoni, sausage, olives—”

Me: “Yes. I just need to know if you will be coming to pick this up, or if you would like to have it delivered?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(The customer proceeds to order food without telling me if it’s for take-out or delivery which is info that we need to take the order. To make things worse just at that moment my computer freezes making it impossible to take an order.)

Customer: “… and I would also like to add a salad on to that order—”

(The customer continues to order food at light speed as I try to interject.)

Me: “Ma’am, I need you to hold on for a second.”

(The customer is completely oblivious to everything I’m saying, and continues to order.)

Me: “Miss, I need you to hang on for just a second. My computer froze and I am unable to take your order for a moment.”

Customer: ” Okay, I think that’s everything. How much will the total be?”

(I am completely dumbfounded by this woman.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I have to put you on hold. Hang on for one moment.”

(I put the woman on hold and notify my manager that one of the computers has frozen. I proceed to take the order on another computer but when I take the phone off hold I find that the customer has hung up. 15 seconds or so pass and the phone rings again. This time my coworker answers the call.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Will this be for take-out or delivery?”

Customer: “Hi. Yes. Um, I just called in and your phone person hung up on me. We had the order paid for and everything.”

(Never in my life have I dealt with a more oblivious person.)

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The Manager Just Got Burned

| NJ, USA | Working | May 25, 2014

(There’s a local branch of a nationwide pizza chain that, surprisingly, ACTUALLY makes the best pizza in town. However, a new store manager has come in lately and since then, things have been a little wonky, like toppings missing or the wrong sizes being made. This happened last night when I call and ask to talk to the manager.)

Me: “I just ordered three large with extra cheese from you guys, and two of them are fine but one is completely burnt.

Manager: “No, it isn’t.”

Me: “Yeah, it is. Two of them are perfect golden brown, but one is darker than the table it’s sitting on with great big burnt-black bubbles in the crust and cheese.”

Manager: “Nope.”

Me: “What do you mean, ‘nope’?”

Manager: “We cook all our pizzas the same. It’s in a set oven on a timer.”

Me: “Then obviously something went wrong with this one. I’d like it replaced.”

Manager: “I’m not going to replace a perfectly fine pizza. You just want a free one.”

Me: “How about I come down and SHOW YOU the burnt one, and if it’s burnt you’re refunding my ENTIRE order?”

Manager: “It’s not burnt!”

(At this point I hang the phone up, grab the obviously burnt pizza, and head down to the shop. The other three people working there all agreed it was burned and get to work on a replacement, but the manager suddenly storms out.)

Manager: “DON’T YOU GIVE HIM A THING. That pizza’s fine!”

Clerk: “Um, no, it’s not. LOOK at this!”

Manager: “Yeah. It’s properly cooked!”

Clerk: “No, it’s NOT. It’s completely burned!”

Manager: “Look, I’ve been doing this for 10 years. This is why I keep telling you people to watch the pizzas. You keep undercooking them, then I have to fix them!”

Clerk #2: “Wait a minute. YOU’VE been overcooking them!?”

Manager: “No, I’ve been FIXING them!”

(At this point the first clerk took me aside, promised me a fresh pie ASAP, and refunded my bill without even asking me. It turned out the manager was pushing his personal preference off on the customers and they were getting five to ten calls a night to fix burnt pizzas!)

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