That’s How The Cannoli Crumbles

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

Me: *as I’m finishing taking a customer’s order* “Anything else I can get for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, actually. Do you think you could get the driver to stop somewhere? Buy me a couple cannolis?”

Me: “Well, normally we don’t allow our drivers to make other stops while they are out on delivery, but seeing as we aren’t that busy right now, we can make an exception for you as long as you reimburse the driver for the cost of the cannolis.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me? Why would I have to pay the driver some of my hard earned money?!”

Me: “Ma’am, we’re not going to allow our driver to stop off and buy your cannolis if you’re not going to reimburse the driver for the cost.”

Customer: *now screaming* “ARE YOU F****** KIDDING ME! I JUST WANT MY GOD-D*** CANNOLIS!”

Me: *calm* “I understand that but we do not sell cannolis here nor do we usually allow our drivers to make other stops while they are out on delivery.”

Customer: “BUT YOU’RE A DELIVERY SERVICE! YOU SHOULD DELIVER ME WHAT I WANT!”

Me: “Yes, we are a delivery service, but we do not sell cannolis at our store.”

Customer: “YOU KNOW WHAT? F*** YOU, AND F*** YOUR STORE! CANCEL MY ORDER! I’M NEVER ORDERING FROM YOU GUYS AGAIN!” *click*

A Very Heated Argument

| ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(I work at a pizzeria with a counter for selling individual slices. It’s late in the day but I still have four fresh pepperoni pizzas for sale. They just came out of the oven as per my request to the baker, to minimize the transition between lunch and dinner. It’s three pm and my coworker will be handling the counter when she arrives at four.)

Customer: *approaches the counter* “I’ll have four pepperoni slices and a [Drink]!”

Me: *inputs this into the computer* “That’ll be [price].”

Customer: *drops money into my hand* “Make sure they’re hot!”

Me: “The baker just made these.” *I carefully touch the pizza on top with my gloves on; it feels hot*

(I dish up the slices and get the customer his Drink from the fridge. The customer sits down to eat at a table, while I begin restocking the pop and juice in the fridge. The customer then screams at me and throws a slice of hot pizza at my head; luckily, I’m wearing a hat, but there is now cheese in my ponytail. I feel something hit the back of my head; the boiling hot cheese.)

Me: “Umm, can I help you?”

Customer: “These! Are! Cold!”

Me: *startled* “Um… umm.. sir… sir… actually… the cheese in my hair feels hot… ummm… and it really hurts.”

Customer: “I demand to speak to the manager!”

Me: “Actually… the owner is… right here.”

(The owner had been sweeping in front out the counter. He’s a short Italian man with a temper, but is always nice to me. He refers to all of the teenage and early twenty-year-old staff as “his kids.” He saw the whole thing.)

Owner: “Did you just throw a slice of pizza at one of my kids who was nothing but nice?”

Customer: *stammers* “But… she… It’s… It’s cold.”

Owner: “Get the f*** out of my restaurant.”

Customer: *scampers out*

Owner: *to me* “Go wash the cheese out of your hair; I’ll watch the front. You’re on break. And ya can’t let anyone talk to you like that!”

(I return from cleaning my hair and hat to find my food upstairs, paid for already. Apparently the guy came back to apologize and paid for my lunch!)

These Customers Come At All Hours

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Time

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’ve been waiting for over an hour! Where’s my pizza?”

Me: “It’s on its way, sir.”

Customer: “Well, what are you going to do about it?”

Me: “About what, sir?”

Customer: “I’ve been waiting for over an hour!”

Me: “We won’t be doing anything. There’s no way you’ve waited that long.”

Customer: “WHAT?! ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?!”

Me: “No, sir, just mistaken.”

Customer: “And why’s that?!”

Me: “It’s 11:20, sir—”

Customer: “So?!”

Me: “We open at 10:30.”

Customer: *click*

Pizza By Elimination

, | USA | Food & Drink

(A customer is calling in a to-go order over the phone.)

Customer: “I’ll have a large pepperoni, mushroom, and olive pizza but my wife doesn’t like mushrooms or olives.”

Me: “So… a large pepperoni pizza?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Their Comprehension Is Limited

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(I’m a manager of a small pizzeria. Our coupons do not have expiration dates, but do specify “for a limited time only; all prices subject to change without notice.”)

Customer #1: “I got this coupon for $11.99.”

Me: “I’m sorry, that offer has expired. The combo is now $12.99, so it will just be a dollar more.”

Customer #2: *evidently grabs phone from [Customer #1]* “HEY! You gotta accept this coupon because there’s no expiration date on it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, that was for a limited time. We no longer have that offer. It’s now $12.99.”

Customer #2: “Nope, it doesn’t have an expiration date! All it says is, “limited time offer; prices subject to change without notice.” SEE, it doesn’t have a date on it! So you gotta take it.”

(After this goes on a couple of more rounds, she angrily accepted it, and let me know she’ll be contacting the owner.)

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