Listen And Learn

, , , , , , , , | Right | November 9, 2019

(Where I work, we have to ask the customer a few questions while at the register. It’s annoying for everyone involved but doesn’t take long as everything is asked while ringing and is just part of the job. Right now, we have a promo going on where if a customer spends $20, they get a reward card for $20 off a $50 purchase later in the month. I am on register one day and I have this exchange when a man and woman come up.)

Me: “Hi. How are you today?”

Male Customer: “Fine.”

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Female Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

Me: “Was anyone assisting you today?”

Male Customer: “No, we don’t want any, thanks.”

Me: *confused*

Female Customer: *rolling her eyes at him* “Yes, [Coworker] helped us.”

Me: “Oh, good. Anyway, you get this $20 reward today for—”

Male Customer: “No, we don’t want it.”

Me: “I… No, I mean… You get this reward today just for shopping with us.”

Male Customer: “And what do I have to do for it?”

Me: “Spend at least $20, which you did. So, you get a reward.”

Male Customer: “Oh.”

Me: “Your total is [total]. Are you using your [store credit card] today?”

Male Customer: “No, I said we don’t want it!”

Me: *confused because this is the first time I brought it up*

Female Customer:Yes, I have one and will be using it.” 

(She rolls her eyes and shoves the man out of the way so she can swipe her card.)

Female Customer: *to the male customer* “How about you shut your mouth for once and actually listen to what people are saying?”

(This made my heart so happy because it’s exactly what I was thinking. I thanked her and told her to have a nice day, completely ignoring the sulking man as they left. He wasn’t the first person to do this that day, and certainly wasn’t the last, but that woman made my day!)

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Super Smashing His Studies

, , , , , , | Learning | October 27, 2019

(It is finals time and the library is, of course, packed with people trying to study. I’m in the basement of the library where there a few desks that have electrical outlets so you can charge your computer. I am sitting at a desk in the corner studying when another student approaches me.)

Student: “Excuse me, but are you studying?”

(I say nothing but I gesture to my open textbook, notes, and study guide on my computer.)

Student: “Okay, sorry to bother you.”

(Later on, I saw what was so important that he needed a desk: he was playing “Super Smash Brothers” on his Switch.)

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Watching And Swatching

, , , , , | Right | October 23, 2019

(We have a makeup section at my store and, like most places that sell drugstore makeup, we don’t have testers for the products. I know it’s hard trying to find the right shade, but it’s important we don’t let customers swatch products because A, it’s incredibly unhygienic — especially considering how many adult women don’t wash their hands — and B, nobody wants to get home and find out the makeup they bought was used. I am putting away freight when I notice a woman opening up makeup boxes that even have a special tag on them to try and prevent people from opening up the products. She is swatching different products and I am standing by waiting to assess the situation and see what now needs to be damaged. She walks away and I go over to the display when the woman suddenly appears again.)

Customer: “I didn’t open that box.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, if you didn’t, but I need to check these products out.”

Customer: “Well, you know what? I don’t like the feeling of being watched. I guess I’m going to have to go to [Competitor] now.”

(She tossed a product at me and left. I don’t know if she thought that upset me, because it was a $3 blush, so it wasn’t like she would spending a lot with us, anyway. Also, the competitor is known for being a favorite among white trash people, and I know the makeup department there is pretty gross because people keep trying out the products. And if you don’t like the feeling of being watched, then maybe don’t do something that warrants it.)

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The Tablet Book Of Death

, , , , , | Right | October 23, 2019

(I am covering a break in electronics. A woman approaches with a question about a tablet.)

Customer: “Are you able to help me with my email on here?”

Me: “I’ll try my best, but I normally work in beauty and am just over here covering a break.”

Customer: “Well, I have too many emails in my inbox and now I’ve stopped being able to receive any more. I don’t want to have to manually delete 2,000+ emails. Do you think you can help me?”

Me: “I know typically the keyboard command ‘Control’ and ‘A’ will delete around 100 emails at a time. It will still take you a while but at least you won’t have to do each one individually.”

Customer: “How would I do that?”

Me: “You would bring up your keyboard while in your email.”

Customer: “I don’t know how to do that.”

Me: “Well, what type of tablet do you have? I have a Kindle and am somewhat familiar with iPads, so I should be able to figure it out.”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t buy it here. I bought it off [TV Shopping Network] years ago.”

Me: “Then, I’m sorry, but I won’t know how to work it. Besides, I’m not sure if I can even work on something we didn’t sell because if something happens then we can’t really offer anything to you.”

Customer: “Well, the one electronics guy always helps me. The tall, skinny one.”

Me: “Ma’am, that literally describes every single guy that works in electronics. Does he have long hair? Piercings? Tattoos? That way I can kind of tell if the one you are thinking of is working today.”

Customer: “No, sorry, I just know he’s tall and skinny. So, there’s nothing you can do?”

Me: “Honestly, ma’am, your best bet is to try and go to a public library if you don’t have a computer at home. They can help you pretty much step for step and will know more than me, probably.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks.”

(Later on, the electronics guy comes back and I ask him what he would have told her.)

Coworker: “Honestly, I don’t know if I could have helped her, either, especially because she doesn’t even know how to bring up her keyboard. The fact that it’s a five-year-old product from [TV Shopping Network] means it’s more than likely a piece of junk that will need replacing soon. I’m glad I was on my break when she came.”

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A Lifetime Of Death

, , , , , | Related | October 16, 2019

(My husband and I just updated our insurance policy with our agent. My eleven-year-old daughter thinks that life insurance is to insure that you stay alive in the hospital. I explain it is money that your family receives if you pass away. She looks at me thoughtfully and says:)

Daughter: “Now I understand why people kill their husbands instead of getting divorced.” 

(I see a Lifetime movie in her future.)

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