It’s a few weeks before Christmas and I am working in a department that’s known for its coats. This store sells all types of things from clothes to baby products and housewares.

The main registers where you can check out, do returns, and set up/pick up layaways are set up in a large square almost U shape, and there are two registers on either side. Each side has one line to form and the person at the furthest register just calls the next person in line up to their register. I am at the furthest register, closest to the entrance, when this peach of a lady walks up.

Customer: “I ain’t waiting in this long-a** line!”

Me: “I’m not sure what you want me to do. This is the way the lines are set up and I can’t let you cut in.”

Customer: “Just bring my layaway up and let me pay for it!”

Me: “Ma’am, as I said, I can’t allow you to skip the line as I’m sure other customers in this line are looking to do the same.”

Customer: “Can’t you just ask them to let me or just do it before they notice?! I have other places to be than this stupid-a** line that doesn’t make sense!”

Me: “Ma’am, do I look like Mrs. Coat Factory? I didn’t make the store setting; I simply work here. Either get in line or go somewhere else!”

I was quitting shortly after that as I’d had my fair share of retail! But seriously, where do some people get off being so self-important they think their time is more valuable than others? Sheesh!

Our big box store often hosts a Halloween event where different stations are set up around the store and kids can come and trick-or-treat inside. It is always really popular, and we love to see all the kids in costumes.

One year, we have a Paw Patrol theme for some of the things we hand out. At one point, a woman stops me.

Customer: “When does Paw Patrol arrive?”

Me: “Oh, that’s just the theme this year. We aren’t going to have any of the characters here to meet the kids.”

She leaves, but later on, I do see a mascot character interacting with guests. I feel bad because I genuinely didn’t know but am curious as to who got stuck having to be in the costume. I end up asking my friend who was assigned to a table in the back if she knew who it was.

Coworker: “I honestly have no idea. I didn’t know we were going to have a meet and greet. Go see if you can find out; now I’m curious, too.”

I end up finding the store manager and asking him.

Manager: “I honestly have no idea who that is.”

Me: “What?! What do you mean?! So that’s just some random person?!”

Manager: “Yeah. One of the parents showed up in costume with their kid and ended up just taking pictures and meeting all the kids. If they hadn’t arrived with a kid, I probably would have kicked them out.”

Me: “We can agree it’s a little weird, right?”

Manager: “Oh, no, it’s totally weird.”

In the 1950s or ‘60s, my uncle kept getting the electric bill with his name wrong. He called the electric company — let’s say their name was “Home Electric Company” — each month to have his name corrected. It would either not be corrected or would be corrected wrong. 

This happened for a year, with his name always being wrong on the statement. At this point, my uncle started sending his check payment… one month to “Homer Company”, then to “Home Energy Committee”, and next to “House Electrified”. Every month, it would be a variation of the actual company name.

After a number of months like this, the electric company called my uncle. While the bank had been accepting the checks made out wrong, the bank was getting tired of it. The bank said the electric company had to get the customer to make the check out correctly.

Uncle: “You fix the name on my account as I have repeatedly asked to have fixed, and I think my checks for payment will be filled in correctly.”

His name was fixed for the next billing statement.

I see a recipe online for a cinnamon roll apple pie and decide to try and make one for Thanksgiving. However, I bake one in advance to see how it turns out. My dad is practically drooling the entire time I make it and is eager to try.

After it’s done, I instruct my dad to take half of the pie to my grandpa the next time he sees him. A few days later, I see that the pie is finally gone.

Me: “Did Grandpa like the pie?”

Dad: “What are you talking about?”

Me: “I told you to take half the pie for Grandpa to try. Are you telling me you ate the whole thing by yourself?”

Dad: “I’ll admit, I was a little hypnotized by it and might not have heard your instructions. But I’ll just speak on his behalf and say, ‘It was amazing, and please make it again.’”

I typically worked the closing shift at a hardware store. We had one guy who was notorious for coming in fifteen to thirty minutes before closing and continuing to shop, forcing us to stay there while he finished.

One night he came in, shopped our clearance items, and then checked out. Because he was there past closing hours, we couldn’t use that downtime to do our duties like clean up the registers, put stuff back, etc. We still had to do it, but his appearance meant we would be late getting out, so I came up with a plan. If he had no problems making us late, I wouldn’t have a problem giving him the same treatment.

I scanned a few items, then stopped, took a swig from my drink slowly, breathed out a refreshing “Ahhh,” and then went back and scanned another item. I stopped again, slowly took my vest off, then looked at the computer screen of the cash register to go over a few things. I scanned another item or two, stopped, then grabbed a rag and dusted off part of the register or things I needed to wipe down.

At one point, I just stopped and did nothing, looked at the screen, and then looked over toward the other cashiers as if I was waiting for a command. I repeated parts of this process a few times as he usually had a larger order. I got paid for time on the clock, so why not?

All that time, he and his entourage were waiting for me to finish. Nobody said a word. I figured if he had no reservations coming in late and holding me back, I had no problem taking my time and making him late, too, preventing him from leaving at a reasonable time. He knew he couldn’t leave without his precious clearance items as someone else might get them the next morning, so he had to wait.

Eventually, I finished the transaction, taking three or four times longer than I would have with a normal transaction. Looking back, I think that I should have turned the power off to the register and then turned it back on before taking cash or credit. That way, we’d have to start all over again.

From that point on, I noticed that he never came in close to closing time and always left well before we made closing announcements. Remember, retail workers… while corporate may believe the customer is always right, you can teach customers that they will be treated just the same as they treat you.