My son was born with a very slight heart murmur. The pediatrician said he needed to see a cardiologist so they called one in right away. He was only an hour old.

One month later, I got a letter saying the insurance wouldn’t pay because it needed a pre-authorization twenty-four hours before the visit. I called the insurance company and said that twenty-four hours before the visit, my son was negative twenty-three hours old. They paid the claim.

He’s eighteen now, and he’s fine.

This story is part of our July 2020 Roundup – the best stories of the month!

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About a year and half ago, I moved from Florida to Pennsylvania for graduate school. Since I was moving as a student, it wasn’t necessary for me to go through all the steps to change my residency, such as updating my driver’s license or vehicle registration.

It is now time for me to renew my Florida vehicle registration. I am technically a resident of Florida, but I receive an email saying that my registration has been denied due to my car insurance being for Pennsylvania. I didn’t have this issue last year, even though my circumstances haven’t changed. I call my insurance company to figure out what is going on and what my next steps should be. 

Insurance Agent: “Well, since you are located for most of the year in Pennsylvania, you should probably register your car there.”

Me: “Okay, but I am not a Pennsylvania resident. I don’t think I’m allowed to register my car here without changing my residency, and I would rather not do that. I’m probably not staying here after I graduate.”

Insurance Agent: “That’s fine! Because you are a student, that allows you to register your car in Pennsylvania, even without a Pennsylvania license.”

Me: “Okay, thank you! I will look into that.”

As I am still not certain this is correct, I call the Pennsylvania DMV.

Me: “Hi, I’m a student and Florida resident. However, my insurance company said I could register my car in Pennsylvania regardless?”

DMV Representative: “No, you need a Pennsylvania license. If you don’t have one, you can’t register your car here.”

Me: “That’s what I thought. I’ll call my insurance agency back. Thank you!”

After explaining this entire situation again on the phone:

Insurance Agent #2: “Okay, I can absolutely change your policy to a Florida one. That’s strange that it changed.”

Me: “Great, thank you! I didn’t make any changes in the last year, so I’m not sure how that happened.”

I spend a good deal of time on hold, while the agent begins to change everything over.

Insurance Agent #2: “So, there are actually notes from a different phone call saying that you are a full-time Pennsylvania resident.”

Me: “But I’m not. I’m a student and only here temporarily.”

Insurance Agent #2: “Well, because of the notes, I’m not allowed to change your policy.”

Me: “So, I’m not a Pennsylvania resident, so I can’t register my car in Pennsylvania, but I can’t fix my insurance policy to register my car in Florida? Even though I never changed my policy to a Pennsylvania policy in the first place?”

Insurance Agent #2: “That’s correct.”

Me: “My registration expires in a week. The Pennsylvania DMVs are all closed due to the pandemic. I don’t want to drive an unregistered vehicle and potentially get in trouble. What should I do?”

Insurance Agent #2: “You should keep the records of these phone calls and go once everything is reopened. You might be able to do it all online.”

Spoiler alert: you can’t.

Me: “So, despite the fact that I’m a student and not a full-time Pennsylvania resident, I have to change my residency? And despite that I was able to renew my registration last year when I was in the exact same situation?”

Insurance Agent #2: “That’s correct.”

Me: “Well, thank you. I guess I’ll try to get that done soon.”

While this is all comically inconvenient, it isn’t the worst thing. The biggest kicker is that Florida driver’s licenses are good for eight years, and I finally had to renew mine this year. And now I’ll have to pay to have a new one issued for a new state.

I’m a legal assistant. Half the attorneys I work for are well advanced in years. One day, one of them emails me the most mundane assignment: format and print a letter for him. I do so and take it to his office for him to sign. He looks it over, has no changes, and signs it… in bright purple ink.

I’m very confused because one of the most fundamental rules you don’t even need to be a lawyer to know is that you only sign legal documents in black or blue ink. Despite being nervous about how it might come off, I give in to the urge to question what I just saw.

Me: “Is it okay to sign this in purple?”

Attorney: “It’s blue.”

Me: *Pause* “No, it’s purple.”

Attorney: “It is?”

Me: “Yeah, a bright, pinkish fuchsia or lilac.”

He stared hard at his signature, looking as confused as I was… and that is how we both learned he’d become color blind. Rational or not, I felt horribly embarrassed, but he just laughed it off.

We keep our pens in their original, clearly-labeled boxes in the supply cabinet. He simply made it a rule never to take colored pens into his office. Whenever he passes by my desk, he’ll routinely pause, hold out a pen or paper with his signature to me, and ask, “This is blue, right?”

I work at a German-style beer hall with a pretty authentic Biergarten. Very early one evening, a group of guys in their twenties come into our Biergarten and sit down. They are lively and already a bit drunk. It soon becomes clear that they are a stag night group.

Male Coworker: *Sighing* “Well, any of you ladies want to switch sections with me? I doubt the bachelors will be thrilled to have a male server, and I am sure it will guarantee you all a good tip.”

Even though I am not a fan of bachelor groups, I volunteer since my section is still empty. I get them their beer orders and hand them some menus. A lot of the names of the dishes are authentic or near-authentic German dish names, which make them difficult for some to pronounce. I am a proficient German speaker, so I pronounce the dish names correctly.

Me: “So, gents, can I get you anything to eat?”

Drunk Patron #1: “I’ll have the Wiener Schnitzel.”

Drunk Patron #2: “Um, uh, what’s the Wasyoumacallit?”

I lean over to see where he is pointing.

Me: “Oh, the Würstlteller? It’s a platter with three different kinds of wurst—”

Drunk Patron #2: “Virgin Teller? Oh, my God, I will definitely have the Virgin Teller!”

Me: “Are you sure? Not everyone likes wurst—”

Drunk Patron #2: “Yes, yes, I want the Virgin Teller!”

He shouts to his friend across the table.

Drunk Patron #2: “Hey, buddy! Get the Virgin Teller!”

Drunk Patron #3: “I want the Virgin Teller, too!”

Drunk Patron #4: “I’ll have the Virgin Teller!”

Eight out of the ten guys at the table all order the same dish, barely reading the description and just going off on the mispronounced name of the dish. Part of me wants to speak more reason to them since most of our patrons typically end up not liking the wurst, but it is our second-most-expensive dish, so I figure that I can earn a better tip off of their drunken misunderstanding. 

When their meal comes out, another coworker and I put the dishes in front of the patrons. Most of them look confused about their meals.

Drunk Patron #3: *Looking disappointed* “I didn’t order this, did I?”

Me: “Yes, it’s the Virgin Teller. Enjoy!”

And yes, I did get an amazing tip from the whole fiasco.

Last week, we received word that the local shelter had been running low on food and supplies to feed the animals there, as many had turned to the shelter for help feeling their pets during quarantine. This takes place in our local grocery store.

Old Lady: “Run me over, why don’t you! My, that’s a lot of pet stuff. I’m guessing you guys have a bunch of pets.”

We have a cart full of bags of food and litter, as well as wet food.

Me: “It’s not for us. The humane society is running low on food, so we’re donating.”

Old Lady: “Oh, well, good for you.”

Her phone rings and she wanders off.

Me: “Huh. Weird.”

A few minutes later, the lady hunts us down in the dog food aisle and shoves a $20 bill into my mom’s hand. She refuses to take it back no matter what.

Old Lady: “I have pets, too, you know.”

We used that extra money to buy kitten formula and food, as it is kitten season. Faith in humanity: restored.

This story was included in our May 2020 Inspirational Roundup.

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