That’s Not How Tanning Works

, , , | Right | November 4, 2018

(I go back to the supermarket where I work after a two-week vacation. A creepy regular is at my register:)

Regular: “It’s been a long time.”

Me: “Yes, I was on vacation.”

Regular: “On vacation? But you didn’t tan?”

Me: “I’m red-haired! I’m not easily tanned.”

Regular: “Twaddles! If you took off your clothes, you would tan!”

What’s Latin For “Overthinking It”?

, , , , , | Learning | August 17, 2018

(I overhear two students talking.)

Student #1: “During my school trip in Italy–”

Student #2: *interrupting* “In Italy? Did you study Latin in middle school or high school?”

Student #1: “Neither.”

Student #2: “But how you can have the right to participate at a school trip in Italy without studying Latin?!”

Student #1: “Because I studied Italian.”

A Sickening Amount Of World Music

, , , , | Working | July 11, 2018

(I work in a supermarket. On the 21st of June, I get a call from my store manager.)

Store Manager: “Can you replace [Coworker #2] tomorrow morning?”

Me: “She called to say that she will be absent?”

Store Manager: “No, but it’s World Music Day tonight, and she is always absent the day after, and always with a doctor’s certificate.”

(She called in on the 22nd of June.)