Grabbing Themselves A Swift Exit

, , , , , | Right | April 18, 2019

I used to work in a nightclub, and when going round collecting glasses I would occasionally get my a**e grabbed. I would immediately turn round and give the offending bloke a hard kick in the a**e back. My manager — the best boss ever, also a bloke — used to send all the new girls to me to train knowing I would tell them to do this. The bouncers also backed me up every time. One time the guy that grabbed me even apologised!

One occasion sticks in my mind — this was about 15 years ago — on a mid-week night when only three bouncers were working. There were five members of a well-known local sports team in the club. One of them grabbed my a**e, so I turned round and demanded to know which one of them had done it because I couldn’t be sure given that I was facing the other way. All five of them just laughed in my face.

I told the bouncers who then demanded they all leave, and they refused. The bouncers were outnumbered, so the police were called. All five got thrown out, despite these five degenerates repeatedly calling me a liar.  

Sometimes you’re lucky enough to work with awesome people, where the good guys outnumber the bad.

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This Kid’s Showing Contains Violence And Strong Language

, , , , , , | Right | April 8, 2019

(I work at a popular movie theater in a mall. This is my first job and throughout eight years, I have made my way up the chain, getting trained in all the different departments, then getting trained as a manager in all the departments. It is my first weekend in charge of a certain department and I am already nervous because I want to do a good job and impress my boss. It is opening weekend for a popular kids’ movie and is now our busiest time of the day. Almost every showtime for this kids’ movie is sold out, so every auditorium is at about maximum capacity. I get a call on my walkie-talkie from an employee about five minutes after we start seating for a sold-out showtime for the kids’ movie.)

Employee: “Hey, Mr. [My Last Name], I have a customer concern in theater nine. Can you please come down here?”

Me: “Sure, I’ll be right there.”

(I arrive in the theater and find the employee and the customer.)

Me: “Hi. How can I help you?”

Customer #1: “Yes, hi. I was one of the first people here, and I and my kids all sat down and took up five seats. I had my husband and one of my sons wait here in the theater while I and my other son and daughter went to the bathroom and to get some snacks. We left our coats on the seats that we were saving and told my husband to make sure no one took them. While we were gone, a man came over with his wife and daughter and took our seats. My husband tried to tell them they were saved, but they threw our coats on the floor and sat down, anyway. I came back in a few seconds later and saw what happened. I asked nicely if the man would move and he refused. I told him I was going to get the manager if he didn’t move and he flipped me off.”

(I know this woman is in the right. Even if their coats hadn’t been on the seats, she is allowed to save them until the movie starts, which is still in previews. I have her lead me up to where she was sitting and where her husband is still waiting, and I address the family that took the seats.)

Me: “Hi there. My name’s [My Name], and I’m the manager here. I was informed you took this family’s seats. I’m going to have to ask you to—“

Customer #2: “I’m not going anywhere. That b**** is lying. We were here first, and I’m not moving just because she doesn’t want to sit front row!”

(I’m looking around at other customers who are making gestures, like shaking their heads and doing the “get him out” gesture, which informs me that this man is obviously lying. Plus, huge hole in his story: the other family’s coats are still on the ground by this man and his family’s feet.)

Me: “But sir, are these your family’s coats or—“

Customer #2: “Look, man. I’m not moving. I don’t care what that b**** told you. I was here first. Goodbye.”

(I can see that he isn’t going to budge. I grab the coats, make my way out of the middle of the aisle, and tell the husband to join me as it looks like he might try to fight this guy if I leave them both alone. I take them outside the entrance of the theater.)

Me: “Look. If you guys want him to move, I will make him move. I know you’re telling the truth. Or I can refund your tickets, let you in free to see the next show time in 45 minutes, and refill your popcorn and drinks at that time so they’re fresh for you.”

Customer #1’s Husband: “We got here early so that we could sit in our favorite seats, and this guy has the nerve to take them! If we go to the next show, he’ll just pull this crap with someone else next time he comes to the show. I say kick him out.”

(Every weekend, Friday and Saturday night, we have a police officer stationed near the lobby of the theater. This is done in case of emergencies, and we have needed to utilize the officer on a couple of occasions. I go get him and lead him to the theater. I have him wait outside the theater and tell him I am going to calmly ask the customer to leave and hope that he won’t cause a scene. I go back up to the customer.)

Me: “Hello, sir, I apologize, but I’m going to have to escort you outside the theater. I know the other group was here first and you took their seats. I can refund your tickets and concessions.”

Customer #2: “I already told you I’m not leaving. I’ve given this theater a lot of money over the years.”

Me: “And we appreciate that, sir. If you’re willing to work with me, I can see if there’s another place in the theater where we can seat you.”

Customer #2: “Where? There’s nowhere left to sit.”

(I take a quick look around the theater.)

Me: “There are three seats together in the front row.”

Customer #2: “I’m not sitting in the front row.”

Me: “Well, the only other option is for you to split up. I can seat two of you in those two empty seats about halfway down. There’s another seat directly behind those where I can seat the third person.”

Customer #2: “F*** that! For the last time, I. AM. NOT. MOVING. You can’t make me, so just save your breath and go.”

Me: “Sir, I’ve tried to reason with you, but you’ve left me no other choice. If you do not leave right now, I’m going to get security.”

Customer #2: “I f****** dare you to bring them in here. If you do—“

Me: “Okay. Be right back.”

(I go grab the cop and bring him into the theater and point out the customer to him. The customer sees the cop and goes into a fit of rage, screaming and swearing at the top his lungs. Mind you, this is a KIDS’ MOVIE and the theater is SOLD OUT. All these parents and kids are having to listen to this guy.)

Customer #1: *pops us behind me* “Okay, this is ridiculous. We can just get our money back and leave. I don’t want him to cause more of a scene.”

Me: “No, ma’am. I promised you I would get those seats for you, and I will. He does not deserve to watch this movie, not after what he did. Please just give us another minute and you will be sitting down watching the movie when it starts.”

(The cop tried to escort the customer out of the theater but the customer threw his popcorn bucket at the cop and ran, leaving his wife and daughter behind. The customer and cop ran past me. The wife and daughter followed soon after. I got the original five customers situated back in their seats and told them I would be waiting outside the theater after the movie to give them some free passes to make up for all the headache. I then went out to the lobby and saw the cop, along with three mall security guards, on top of the customer holding him down. The customer was screaming that he didn’t do anything wrong. I found out that he’d actually punched the cop in the jaw. His wife was at the box office getting their tickets refunded while his little daughter was sitting on the ground crying. He left the theater in handcuffs. I found out that he was booked into jail that night. A few months later, he sent an apology letter to us. And to top it all off, this story was in the newspaper the next day. Fun training weekend for me! My boss was very happy with how I handled the situation.)

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Foiled By Oil

, , , , , | Right | April 7, 2019

I work in a bowling alley. During our Saturday night rent-a-lane that started at 11:30 pm — when people tend to drink more — we had a guy apparently trying to impress his girlfriend. He took a running start from the bowling area… onto the approach and onto his lane.

As you know, bowling lanes are oiled. The customer did know this as he slid/skated down the lane on the oil.

What he didn’t know or realize is that the oil only goes about two-thirds of the way down. As soon as he reached the end of the oil, his shoes stuck to the dry part of the lane… and down he went… face first. He was okay, but a little shaken up as he walked back.

There were only about ten lanes going in the small center, but I wanted to warn everybody that this is why you do not go out onto the lanes. I got onto the microphone and said, “Just a reminder… Please do not walk out onto the lanes, as there is oil out there and we don’t want anyone to trip and fall like the guy just did on lane five.”

I got a few small laughs from it, but I think he’d already learned his lesson.

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It’s Time For Them To Punch Out

, , , , , , | Friendly | March 5, 2019

(I was involved in an incident that left me anxious around strangers. I’m barely able to talk to them and I really don’t want to be touched by them. I have been getting help, but I still have to have family or a friend go with me whenever I go out. I’m out shopping with one of my closest friends. I’m deciding on what chips I want when he says he is going to the next aisle to grab some water. I’m okay with this since it should only be less than a minute before he gets back. As soon as he goes around the corner, a middle-aged woman comes up to me.)

Lady: “Excuse me. Can you tell me where the [item] is?”

(I’m feeling anxious already, but she was polite so I manage to answer her.)

Me: “Sorry. I don’t know where that is.”

(Her politeness disappears immediately.)

Lady: *raising her voice* “What do you mean, you don’t know? What kind of employees do they hire here that don’t know where anything is?!”

(The employees wear long-sleeve, white dress shirts with a tie, black slacks, and either a vest or apron. I’m wearing a white hoodie and black jeans.)

Me: *starting to shake and tear up* “I don’t work here. I—“

Lady: *cutting me off* “BULLS***! I saw you help that young man just now.”

(I’m now beginning to panic when I see my friend come around the corner and begin to walk toward him.)

Lady: *grabs me by the arm* “DON’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME, YOU LAZY B—“

(That’s the last thing I hear. I’m not 100% sure what happens but my friend tells me that as soon as the lady turns me, I punch her in the nose. Then I kind of black out for a little while. My friend tells me this is what happens after I punch her.)

Lady: *now holding her bloody nose* “CALL THE COPS! THIS F****** EMPLOYEE JUST ASSAULTED ME!”

Friend: *checking on me* “She’s not an employee; she’s a customer. And you grabbed her first.”


(A manager comes over with the security guard and an employee who is another friend of mine.)

Manager: “What’s going on?”


Friend: “You grabbed her first.”

(The cops are called, and I begin to calm down. I see the employee holding my hand trying to calm me down.)

Me: *disoriented* “What’s going on?”

Employee: *calmly and quietly* “It’s okay. Can you tell me what you remember right now?”

Me: *starting to hyperventilate when I see the lady* “That woman grabbed me.”

Employee: *rubbing my hand* “It’s okay. The cops will be here and it will all be sorted out.”

(I just want to go home now. I pull my knees up to my chest and I start crying. My friend sits next to me and tries to calm me down. The lady still has to get her jabs in.)

Lady: “You know you f***** up, don’t you?”

Manager: “Miss, could you please leave her alone?”


(My friend has had enough. I have never seen him so mad.)

Friend:No! She is not. You’re the one who grabbed her, because you’re too stupid to listen when someone says they are not an employee.” *points to cameras and the end of the aisles* “And those will prove it.”

(The lady now has a worried look on her face and starts to walk back out of the aisle toward the exit, but the cops show up. The manager leads the cops, my friend, and the lady to his office to review the tapes while the employee stays with me.)

Me: *crying* “I want to go home.”

Employee: “As soon as they let [Friend] leave, we can go. How about when this is done I go get some [my favorite ice cream] and stop by [my favorite pizza place] and we watch some Disney movies?”

Me: “Don’t you still need to work?”

Employee: “No, I just got off. I can leave whenever we’re done here.”

(I agreed, and [Friend] came out and asked if I was ready to go. It took me a few more minutes to get up and go. On our way home, my friend told me that after they reviewed the tape and he explained how I don’t like to be touched, the cops were very understanding. The lady wasn’t, and she flipped out, slapping my friend and kicking the manager. The lady was arrested and that’s the last I heard about her. My employee friend came over later with the ice cream and pizza and we watched Disney movies for the rest of the night.)

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Drive-Thru Now Applies To Solid Walls

, , , , , | Right | February 28, 2019

(I work in a bank. We have just closed up for the night. My coworker and I are balancing the vault when we hear a loud crash and feel the building shake.)

Coworker: “HOLY CRAP! What was that?!”

Me: “Sounds like it came from the drive-up. You don’t think someone hit us, do you?”

Coworker: “Oh, no.”

(We run out of the vault, across the lobby, and into the drive-up area. Thankfully, there is no hole in the wall, but there is a slightly damaged car parked at an awkward angle in our business deposit lane. The customer in the car looks very confused.)

Me: *through the mic* “Sir, are you okay?”

Customer: “Did I hit something?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “What did I hit?”

Me: “You hit the wall, and you hit it very hard. We felt the building shake. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Customer: “I need to make a deposit!”

Me: “Sir, we’re actually closed for the night. Can I call someone to come pick you up? Your car is damaged.”

Customer: “NO! I’m FINE! It’s still drivable, so I’ll come back tomorrow!”

(He reverses out of the lane at a crazy angle, and speeds off. My coworker and I stare at each other.)

Coworker: “At least there’s no hole in the wall…”

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