Those Who Handle Things Like An A** Get Their A**es Handed To Them

, , , , | Right | May 27, 2019

(I work in a supermarket, mostly as a cashier, but sometimes I help stocking shelves. My coworkers and I have had several run-ins with a very rude customer; he’s offensive, condescending, and aggressive if he encounters any resistance. Our manager refuses to ban the guy because they live in the same building and he’s afraid of being attacked. The guy is free to come in and bully us, and customers, quoting, “I’m stronger than you; what are you going to do about it?” After not showing up for two weeks, he limps back into the store with a swollen face, black eye, broken swollen nose, swollen jaw, and a broken front tooth, and a few fingers on his right hand are broken. He looks like he had his a** kicked and no one in the store is sad to see it. After getting his purchases, he limps up to my counter.)

Rude Guy: *sees me staring* “Don’t you f****** laugh!” *clutches his jaw, which clearly hurts*

Me: “Of course, sir. Did you find everything you need?” *biting my tongue so I don’t ask him if he found painkillers*

Rude Guy: “Yeah, just ring me the f*** up.”

(After ringing him through, another regular watches him leave with a smile.)

Regular: “Looks like he found someone stronger than him; what do you think he’ll do about that?”

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You Made A Mistake And I CAN Put My Finger On It

, , , , | Learning | May 26, 2019

(I’m running a martial arts tournament. Before we start the tournament, we have a kids’ activity time where kids can break boards and play games. My sister is holding boards for an eight-year-old doing a kick. He misses and hits her fingers.)

Sister: “Next time, kick in the middle!”

Kid: “I did.”

Sister: “No, you did not.”

Kid: “Are you sure?”

Sister: “Yes, I’m very sure.”

Kid: “I could have sworn I hit in the middle!”

Sister: “The pain radiating through my fingers says otherwise.”

Kid: “Oh.”

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Parents Are (Pea)Nuts!

, , , , , , , | Right | May 22, 2019

(At our store, there is an open bin of salted peanuts, still in the shell, that you can scoop into bags. As I am finishing up with a round of stocking, I notice a kid holding himself up over the edge of the bin, grabbing peanuts, licking the salt off the outside, then dropping them back into the bin. I immediately hurry over.)

Me: “Hey, bud. I need you to get down from there. You can’t be licking the peanuts; you don’t know how many people have been touching them with dirty hands before you.”

Kid: “Eww!”

(He hops down, and I start reaching for a bag so I can try to scoop out the contaminated nuts as best I can. Then, I feel a hand on my arm which yanks me backward. I turn, just in time to duck away from a swatting hand. There is a lady standing behind me, looking livid.)

Woman: “How dare you?! Who gave you the right to talk to my son like that?”

Me: “Ma’am, he was licking the peanuts, which is unhygienic and a health hazard. He can’t…”

Woman: *red-faced* “GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

(She tries to swing at me again, and I duck backward. One of the managers from the deli comes hurrying up.)

Manager: “What’s the matter? What’s going on here?”

(I speak up before the woman can shout some more.)

Me: “This lady is upset that I told her child to stop licking the peanuts.”

(The manager’s face screws up in a look of distaste.)

Manager: “Yuck.”

(The woman let out a wordless scream and dragged her son towards the front of the store, leaving her cart behind. I ended up putting it away after scooping the top layer of peanuts into bags to be written off.)

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The Bigger Child

, , , , , | Learning | May 16, 2019

(I am a kindergarten teacher at a private school. The children are waiting for their parents to pick them up. It has been quite a difficult day.)

Mother: *furious* “EXCUSE ME! Why is my son telling me you did not give him some birthday cake?”

Me: “Actually—”

Mother: “I demand you give him some cake now, or I am calling the police for abuse!”

Me: “Actually, Mrs. [Mother], your son did get a piece of cake; however, he decided to throw it at one of the girls. Then, when [Son’s Friend] didn’t give him his piece, he kicked him in the crotch. We do not reward bullying or violence, Mrs. [Mother], and your son was appropriately reprimanded. A letter will be sent to you with more details.”

Mother: *blushing* “HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME SON OF BULLYING?! I DEMAND CAKE NOW OR I WILL HAVE YOUR A**E FIRED!”

Me: “You will not use that language in this building. I am going to have to ask you to leave. You and your son are no longer welcome here.”

(She continued screaming for another couple of minutes until another teacher came out with the aforementioned cake inside a glass cover. She stormed up to it and tried to wrestle it off the teacher. The cover was broken and both the mother and the teacher were injured. The mother then stormed out, smashing a window in the process. We were all a bit rattled by it, but tried to calm everything down when two police officers arrived. They said they’d had reports of a woman — me — wielding a knife, demanding that I “convert the children to the burka” — a literal quote. We showed them the security footage of the area and had to go down to the police station to give statements — the mother included, who was still outside being seen by a paramedic. The other teacher refused to press charges and we were all free to go. A week later, the mother showed up again to drop off her son. I refused, saying they were no longer welcome. She had another tantrum and broke the same window we had just replaced the day before. She then left, screaming that she would take her money elsewhere. At this school, parents do not have to pay for kindergarten if they are claiming Jobseeker’s Allowance, which she was. Her sister left her son with us occasionally, and I’ve heard that that mother has built such a reputation that she has to take her son out of the county and is going to be homeschooling. I’m considering allowing the child to attend with us again, even if just for a bit of stability, but I’m fearful of what he might do. It was a first-time incident, but it was pretty serious.)

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Four-Way Turn Becomes One-Way Nightmare

, , , , | Legal | May 7, 2019

(I’m heading to pick my daughter up from school when I come to a four-way stop. I stop and wait my turn and then slowly pull into the intersection. The driver on my left also starts to go but not as slowly. I slam on the brakes, but they do not, and they hit me. There’s not much damage. I’m not super angry until I exit the vehicle and the other driver starts to lay into me.)

Driver: “What the f*** do you think you’re doing? Do you not know how a stop sign works?”

Me: *already over this situation* “It was my turn. I went. I’m going to call the police and my insurance company.”

Driver: “You’d better call the police, because if I do you’re going to jail!”

(I sit in my car and call the police, and then call my husband to pick up our daughter. The other driver stands in the road screaming into his phone about the “stupid b****” who destroyed his car. Eventually, the police pull up to the scene.)

Driver: “Thank God! Y’all need to handle this girl; she’s been cussing and causing a scene since she hit me!”

Officer: “She seems calm enough. For now, sir, let me get your details and a statement for the accident report, and then we can get y’all moved out of the road.”

(The driver goes on to tell the officer that I came flying through the stop sign and plowed into his vehicle.)

Officer: “Okay, sir, is that your official statement on how this accident occurred?”

Driver: “Yes! That’s how it happened!”

Officer: “All right, then. [My Name]! Did [Husband] ever install that dash cam he got for you?”

Me: “Yeah, it was on. I just have to load the footage on a computer.”

Officer: “I’ll see if it will work on the one in the car. Is [Husband] already on his way or do you need me to get him on the radio?”

Me: “No, he’s picking up [Daughter]; that’s where I was headed.”

(The other driver started to pale when he realized what was going on. The video footage clearly showed that I’d stopped and that it was my turn to go. It also showed the other driver on his phone when he gunned it into the intersection. I chose not to press charges and let his insurance company deal with him.)

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