Was Bra-ced For A Different Reaction

, , , , , , | Learning | February 16, 2015

(I’m an A&E nurse. We’re not allowed our phones on us; they’re to be kept in our lockers. A call for me comes into hospital reception on a private line.)

Phone: “This is [Teacher] from [School]. There’s been an incident involving [Daughter]. We need you to come in.”

Me: “Is she ill or injured? Can it wait until my shift is over in two hours?”

Phone: “[Daughter] has struck another pupil. We’ve been trying to call you for 45 minutes. It really is very serious.”

(I go to the school and am ushered into the head’s office. I see my daughter, her head of year, a male teacher, the headmaster, a boy with blood around his nose and a red face, and his parents.)

Head: “Mrs. [My Name], how kind of you to FINALLY join us!”

Me: “Yeah, things get busy in A&E. I’ve spent the last hour administering over 40 stitches to a seven-year-old who was beaten by his mother with a metal ladle and then I had to deal with the police regarding the matter. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

(After watching him try to not act embarrassed, he tells me what has happened. The boy had twanged my daughter’s bra and she had punched him in the face twice. I got the impression they were more angry with my daughter than the boy.)

Me: “Oh. And you want to know if I’m going to press charges against him for sexually assaulting my daughter and against the school for allowing him to do it?”

(They all get jittery when I mention sexual assault and start speaking at once.)

Teacher: “I don’t think it was that serious.”

Head Of Year: “Let’s not over-react.”

Head: “I think you’re missing the point.”

(The boy’s mother then starts crying. I turn to my daughter to find out what happened.)

Daughter: “He kept pinging my bra. I asked him to stop but he didn’t, so I told Mr. [Teacher]. He told me to ‘ignore it.’ [Boy] did it again and undid my bra so I hit him. Then he stopped.”

(I turn to the teacher.)

Me: “You let him do this? Why didn’t you stop him? Come over here and let me touch the front of your trousers.”

Teacher: “What?! No!”

Me: “Does that seem inappropriate to you? Why don’t you go and pull on Mrs. [Head Of Year]’s bra right now. See how fun it is for her. Or on that boy’s mum’s bra. Or mine. You think just because they’re kids it’s fun?”

Head: “Mrs. [My Name]. With all due respect, [Daughter] still beat another child.”

Me: “No. She defended herself against a sexual attack from another pupil. Look at them; he’s nearly 6 feet and 11 or 12 stone. She’s 5 feet and 6 stone. He’s a foot taller than her and twice as heavy. How many times should she have let him touch her? If the person who was supposed to help and protect her in a classroom couldn’t be bothered what should she have done? He pulled her bra so hard it came undone.”

(The boy’s mum is still crying and his dad looks both angry and embarrassed. The teacher won’t make eye contact with me. I look at the headmaster.)

Me: “I’m taking her home. I think the boy has learnt his lesson. And I hope nothing like this ever happens again, not only to [Daughter], but to any other girl at this school. You wouldn’t let him do it to a member of staff so what makes you think he can do it to a girl of 15 is beyond me. I will be reporting this to the governors. And if you—” *turning to the boy* “—EVER touch my daughter again I WILL have you arrested for sexual assault. Do you understand me?”

(I was so angry I gathered my daughter’s things and left. I reported it to the Board of Governors, several of whom I know from Church (it’s a Catholic school), and was assured it would be strongly dealt with. I also reported it to OFSTED (Government-run school monitoring) and they were equally as horrified and assured me they would contact the school. My daughter was put into a different class for that subject, away from the teacher and the boy.)

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Not So Closed Minded, Part 6

, , , , | Right | December 28, 2014

(We have two locations in town, one of which is open 24 hours most of the year. We are normally open until 11 pm. It’s Christmas Eve. A woman enters at 9.50 pm and grabs a trolley. She stops to look at me sympathetically.)

Customer: “Oh, you poor thing having to work on Christmas Eve. It’s so sad to split up families during the holidays for money. I hope the company is ashamed.”

Me: “Well, actually, ma’am, we close in ten minutes.”

Customer: “But you’re open until 11.”

Me: “Sorry, we close at 10 tonight because it’s Christmas. We’ll be opening again at 9 am Boxing Day.” *indicate multiple signs showing holiday opening hours*

Customer: “Well, that’s selfish! I need lots of things for tomorrow.” *exasperated sigh* “I’ll just go to [the 24-hour location] then.”

Me: “They also close at 10 pm tonight. Sorry about that.”

Customer: “But I need my things!”

Me: “They’re open 10-3 tomorrow for emergency supplies.”

Customer: “I can’t be expected to go out on Christmas day. You’ll just have to stay open.”

(She starts to shop and the security guard has to remove her. A week later, I’m working New Year’s Eve. She arrives at 10 past 9, as we’re locking up.)

Customer: “What? No! You said 10!”

Me: “That was last week. Tonight we close at 9.” *points at sign again* “And they’ll be closing up [24-hour location], too.”

Customer: “But I haven’t got any champagne for midnight!”

(She pushed me and snatched the keys from my hand before anyone could stop her. I was taken by surprise, fell back, and hit my head on the pavement. It took my two coworkers and the security guard to stop her trying to reopen the shop. I ended up spending New Year in hospital with concussion. She turned up next day to complain about me.)

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The Reference Was Not Super-Effective

, , | Working | September 29, 2014

(Almost all of my t-shirts have some sort of fandom-related design on them, some far less obvious that others. At my physical therapist’s it has become sort of a joke that he will always try to guess what my shirt is referencing, and is almost always wrong. He also has an assistant who jokes around with both of us. Today I’m wearing a water-fire-grass-water effectiveness cycle shirt, a ‘Pokémon’ reference. When my physical therapist sees it…)

Physical Therapist: “I have no idea on that one.”

Assistant: “Oh, come on. It’s easy!”

Physical Therapist: “Then what is it?”

Assistant: “Earth, Wind, and Fire! Right?”

Me: “… It’s Pokémon.”

(There’s a beat, and then my therapist and I both start laughing.)

Physical Therapist: “Yes, you’re right, [Assistant]. It was very easy!”

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It’s Crunch Time

, | Romantic | April 30, 2014

(My girlfriend’s shoulder and neck have recently been really hurting her. As she’s never been to a chiropractor before, I suggest she make an appointment with the chiropractor’s office I’ve been going to since I was a kid. After a couple sessions she’s enamored with the difference they’ve made. I go in to get my back tweaked and end up getting seen by my girlfriend’s doctor, who I’ve never met before, as mine is out of the office. During our session, I mention that my girlfriend raves about the doctor’s ability. As I go to check out we make chit chat…)

Chiropractor: “So, how do you know [Girlfriend]?”

Me: “She’s my girlfriend, but we were friends for 13 years before that.”

Chiropractor: “Oh, I see it now!”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Chiropractor: “You both make the same noises when I crunch you.”

(After later giving an example to my girlfriend, she confirmed this to be true.)

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Waxing Lyrical About The Pain

, , , , | Working | December 24, 2013

(Waxing hurts no matter what, but at this appointment, I notice that the worker was being a lot rougher than in previous appointments. She’s also very quiet for the first half.)

Worker: *suddenly yanks a strip off* “So, how has your day been?”

Me: *whimpers* “Good. Good just—” *riiiiip* “—a little hectic.”

Worker: “Uh-huh.” *riiiiip* “I’ve seen better days myself. My boyfriend had to leave today to be with his son in Montreal.” *riiiiip*

Me: “Oh, dear. — ah! — How come?”

Worker: “The boy’s mother is hospitalized.” *riiiiip* “So, who knows how long he’ll be gone for! And on top of that and working late, I have to walk home alone in the cold because my car wouldn’t start this morning. So I’m kind of having a rough day.” *riiiip*

Me: “Oh. Um — ow! — I think it’s understandable to feel that way. Just please don’t take it out on my crotch.”

Worker: “I would NEVER do that!” *RIIIIIIIP*

Me: *whimpers* “Oh… good.”

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