Refs -2, Player -4,530,503

, , , | Right | April 13, 2009

(I work at an outdoor paintball field where the referees wear bright orange to differentiate ourselves from the players. Standing on the field, I start getting shot at. Patiently, I move and continue watching the game.)

Player: *to Coworker* “Ref! Ref! I shot that dude in the orange and he won’t get out!”

Coworker: “That’s because he’s a referee. Notice the orange?”

Player: “Oh… okay, so check THIS guy! I just shot him, too!”

Coworker: “That is ALSO a ref.”

1 Thumbs

Inconvenience Saves The Day

, , , | Right | March 18, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] Pay Per View. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Uh, yeah… I, uh, used up all my credit, and I need you to give me some more.”

Me: “You can purchase credit on our website, or through the automated system on the phone. Would you like assistance with either of those?”


Me: “Um, no… I was just offering to–”


Me: “I can’t just hand out free credit like that; that’s not how it works. If you have a complaint, I can transfer you to that department–”

Customer: “NO!” *suddenly quiet* “Where is your office located?”

Me: “We’re in [Location].”


Me: “…”

Customer: “Wait, where is [Location], exactly?”

Me: “Um… about an hour out of the city by bus or car.”

Customer: “What?! Really? That far? Nah… I’ll probably leave it so. Thanks anyway. Bye.” *hangs up*

1 Thumbs

May We Suggest The Child Protective Services Ride

, , | Right | March 2, 2009

(I am working at the bumper cars at an amusement park, where there is a height restriction. A guy comes up with his son who is clearly too short.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, your son is too short to ride on the bumper cars.”

Customer: “I just waited for two hours in line to go on the bumper cars, and you won’t let my son ride!?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there are signs outside that show the height restrictions before you got in line.”

(The customer then proceeds to grab his son around the throat and lift him up by the neck and holds him up to the sign.)

Customer: “There! Now he’s tall enough!”

Me: “Get the h*** out of here!”

1 Thumbs

Choose Your Battles

, , | Right | October 10, 2008

(Note: I’m about five-seven, one-hundred forty pounds and work at a video game store. My best friend is a foot taller, and about a hundred pounds heavier.)

Me: “Thank you for calling ***, can I help you?”

Customer: “Uh yeah, I bought this stupid hockey-game, and I wanna return it ’cause I don’t like it.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, but you can’t simply return a game because you didn’t like it.”

Customer: “Uh… I mean, the game doesn’t work right.”

Me: “Sir, you just told me that you didn’t like the game, not that it was defective.”

Customer: *click*

(Thirty minutes later, I’ve just opened the store and my best friend stops by. The same customer storms in with a game.)

Customer: “Uh, yeah, I just called about thirty minutes ago, and some guy said I could get my money back because I didn’t like this game.”

Me: “Sir, the person you spoke to was me. I’ll tell you now, as I told you then, you can’t get a refund for a game if you don’t like it. Nor can you get an exchange.”

Customer: “Well, I’m just gonna have to come across the counter and kick your a**, you son of a b****!”

My Friend: “Hey, really quick, could I get your name and if you have any severe allergies to pain-killers?”

Customer: *to my friend* “Who the h*** are you, and what the h*** are you doing?!”

My Friend: “I’m his wrestling and sparring partner, and I’m calling you an ambulance.”

(The customer leaves, quickly. And yes, my best friend is also my wrestling and sparring partner, for the past 3 years.)

1 Thumbs

Please Do Not Manhandle The Employees

, , , , | Right | October 6, 2008

(It’s very busy at the grocery store, so I hop on cash and take the first customer who walks by. Another customer in the lane behind me grabs my arm and wrenches me around so I am facing her.)

Customer: “Excuse me, did you just open that cash to serve that customer?”

Me: “Yes, it’s very busy right now.”

Customer: “Idiot! When you open a cash you take the first customer in the other line, not the last!”

(Keep in mind this customer has already unloaded her items in a different lane.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am… As you can see, it’s very busy right now and I just took the first customer I saw.”

Customer: “Well! That’s very poor customer service!”

(She grabs my arm and physically turns me around so I’m facing my original customer again. I continue with their order.)

Customer: “No! I’m not done!”

(She grabs my arm again and turns me around to face her.)

Customer: “What is your name?! I’m going to talk to your manager! Call him down here now!”

Me: “I’ll call the duty manager right away.”

Customer: “No! I want the STORE Manager! Call him down here now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but he’s gone home for the evening.”

Customer: “Fine! I’m coming back here at 9:00 tomorrow morning, and I expect you to be here too so we can meet with your manager about your terrible customer service!”

Me: “Okay! You’ll be here at 9? How about we meet at the police station at 10, and we can meet with them about the bruises you just gave me?” *rolls up sleeve to show the red marks*

Customer: “I… uh…”

(She grabbed my arm one last time and turned me back to my cash. I finished her order and she rushed out of the store.)

1 Thumbs