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About To Get Meta With The Data

, , , , | Right | October 9, 2021

Client: “I would like if you could scan about 400 old 35mm films with pictures from my vacations back in the ’80s, and put them on an external SSD.”

Me: “Sure, that can be done.”

Client: “Great. Could you also write the dates and locations on each photo? Like it is on my iPhone?”

Me: “Yeah… about that…”

When This Is Your Job, They All Look The Same

, , , , , | Learning | March 28, 2021

I am a pre-k teacher and it is picture day. I have a set of identical twin girls in my classroom. Their mom asks me if I mind asking the photographer to get a picture of the two of them together. The school has used this photographer in the past and I know he’s usually willing to take a photo of siblings together. His assistant comes into the room, and one of the children she asks for, by first and last name, is one of the twins.

Me: “Would it be okay if [Other Twin’s First And Last Name] came, as well? They’re sisters and their mom would like to get a picture of the girls together.”

Mind you, I have both girls standing next to me. The only difference is that one wears glasses, but without the glasses or personally knowing the girls, you wouldn’t be able to tell them apart.

Assistant: *Rolls her eyes* “Are they siblings? Because we don’t do friends.”

There’s a very long pause before I respond.

Me: “They’re identical twins.”

She blushed and muttered an apology and took both girls. The girls thought it was very funny that the lady didn’t see that they were identical.

Wish You Could Have Taken A Photo Of His Face

, , , , | Right | February 24, 2021

I’ve been the official photographer of a local racetrack for several years. Usually, a pilot can buy all the photos of his track day for thirty euros or a single picture for ten euros. This particular client has been very annoying, asking for his photos many times during the day, complaining about the quality, and being very rude to my coworkers.

After a long time in my shop, he selects five pictures out of eighty. We say that he could save twenty euros by buying the full service, but he refuses. He ends up buying five single pictures for fifty euros.

When he exits my office with the receipt, he realizes that he has done a very stupid thing. He asks me if he can talk with my boss about that.

My boss just says, “You’ve just done it, and I’m sorry. We can’t do anything.”

Karma feels good.

Designed For Failure

, , , , , | Working | November 16, 2020

I am looking for a photography job, and I find a job posting by a realty company for a camera operator. The description for the position involves photography, videography, and editing, which is perfect for me as I am experienced in those areas. A couple of days after applying, my husband and I are talking with a friend, who is also our realtor. I mention the job I applied for, and the realtor gives me the phone number of the realtor/owner of the company, who he personally knows.

I connect with him over text, and we exchange a few messages.

Owner: “Can you tell me about your experience with design?”

Me: “I’ve used [program] to lay out pages for magazines, newspapers, etc. But can you specify what kind of design you mean?”

“Design” could mean anything: logos, graphics, 3D animation, etc. He then lists two Adobe programs and does not clarify further. I respond that I am not a graphic designer — nor does it mention in my resume anywhere that I have experience with design, just photography and videography — and he doesn’t respond.

I re-read the job listing, thinking I must have not read it very carefully, but nowhere in the listing did it say anything about design or graphic design! If you’re hiring, be specific about what you’re looking for!

OMG, Like, Cancel Paper!

, , | Right | October 7, 2020

I work as a photographer where I take and print photos onsite, on-demand at parties. The print comes out.

Girl: “Oh, my God, I look awful. Delete it, delete it!”

Me: “I can’t.”

Girl: “No, seriously, delete it.”

Me: “I can’t. It’s paper; it’s real.”