(My husband and I own one of those photography studios where people dress up in “wild west” costumes and get a sepia-toned picture taken. We have examples of the pictures all over the walls, so people can get ideas as to how they want to dress. One day an older couple walks in.)

Customer: “How long does it take to get a photo done?”

Me: “For two people? I can have you in and out with your print in about fifteen minutes.”

Customer: “Just fifteen minutes? We have a trolley to catch.”

Me: “You mean the city trolley that leaves at [time]? This only takes fifteen minutes, so you’ll be out in time to catch your trolley, no problem.”

Customer: “Oh, good! How do we start?”

Me: “You just have to decide how you want to dress!”

Customer: *just now noticing the wall covered in photos* “You mean we dress up?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “We don’t just put our head in a cut-out?”

Me: *a little taken aback, as older customers usually know exactly what this kind of thing is* “…yes.”

Customer: “Oh, we don’t have time for that.”

Me: “But it only would take fifteen minutes.”

Customer: “I’m sorry; we just don’t have time. Bye!”

(Apparently not all “fifteen minutes” are created equal.)

(I am being trained for a management position in a photography studio, and the manager training me decides to do a session on interviewing potential candidates. We pull up a few applications from online, and I start calling. My first call goes like this:)

Applicant: *sleepily* “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] from [Studio]. I am looking for [Applicant] to inquire about a position.”

Applicant: “Yeah, that would be me.”

(I’m slightly put off by the tone, but since it is about ten in the morning, I figure maybe they’re still getting ready for the day and are just not themselves yet. So, I launch into a spiel about the job requirements, position, and what we’re looking for in terms of hours and work.)

Applicant: “Yeah, I can’t work earlier than noon because I need my sleep, and I need to be gone by four. I also don’t really like to deal with people, so I want to be the photographer, not the seller people.”

Me: “Um… Well, being the photographer, you would have to engage with the clients, telling them where to stand or sit, and how to pose. And our photographers are also studio sales associates and often sell their own photographs with the client. Is that something you’re willing to do?”

Applicant: *sighs* “Yeah, whatever. When do I start?”

Me: “Well, I’d like to set up an interview with you first. Will today at one o’clock work for you?”

Applicant: “Are you serious? I have to come in, in order to see if I got the job?!”

Me: “That’s how we like to do things.” *starting to get a little frustrated with this applicant, but still willing to give them a shot*

Applicant: “Well, I had plans today, so I’ll call you back about a better time.” *click*

(I just looked at the trainer, a little shocked. The manager shook her head, crossed the name off, and told me to move on to the next one. Three days later, the applicant called back wanting to schedule an interview in fifteen minutes. I was in a session, but my training manager told her the job had been filled. I’m used to demanding clients, especially when it comes to their photographs, but for someone seeking a job, their attitude took me by surprise.)

(I work in a portrait studio and am going to upload a customer’s pictures from a memory card after finishing the session. I get an error message that says, “card cannot be used,” which I’ve never seen before, so I call our help desk. He asks a couple questions and runs few a couple of quick things that don’t work.)

Help Desk Tech: “Okay, let’s do it this way. Go ahead and format the memory card.”

Me: “What? Format the memory card?”

(I am terrified to do this because it will erase all the images I just finished taking of a large group.)

Help Desk Tech: “Yeah.”

Me: “No.”

Help Desk Tech: “No?”

Me: *firmly* “No.”

Help Desk Tech: “Why not?”

Me: “I’m trying to retrieve the images, not delete them!”

Help Desk Tech: “It’s fine. I can still get them after you format it.”

Me: “No.”

Help Desk Tech: “It will be okay.”

Me: “What’s your name?”

Help Desk Tech: “[Help Desk Tech].”

Me: “Well, [Help Desk Tech], if I am going to go against my better judgement and format this memory card I need you to promise me that I won’t delete these pictures.”

Help Desk Tech: “It should be fine.”

Me: “Should be isn’t good enough! I need you to promise me.”

Help Desk Tech: “I promise. Go ahead and format it. I’ll help you through this. We can do it together.”

(I can tell he’s teasing me, but I take a deep breath and format the memory card. He proceeds to remotely access my computer and retrieve the images from the card.)

Me: “You did it!”

Help Desk Tech: “I’m glad. I was totally lying when I promised before.”

Me: “[Help Desk Tech]!”

Help Desk Tech: “Just kidding.”

Me: “Thank you so much!” *to my customer who has been waiting for her pictures* “He did it! My new best friend [Help Desk Tech] did it!”

([Help Desk Tech] is my buddy now. I’m always glad when I call the help desk and it’s him. The customer loved her pictures and tipped me $30.)

(I work in a retail portrait studio. Due to circumstances that actually have nothing to do with my company, our location is permanently closing. Until then, it’s business as usual. My associate, who by the way is the sweetest girl on the planet and receives more customer compliments than the rest of us combined, is working alone. The phone rings while she is busy.)

Associate: “Thank you for calling [Studio]. Can you please hold?”

(She places the line on hold for no more than one minute as she finishes helping a customer. When she returns, the caller has hung up. She then receives two calls in a row and has to let one go to voicemail.)

Customer: *on voicemail* “I understand why you’re closing if you treat all your customers the way you just treated me. I called a minute ago and a snippy little girl said ‘can you hold please?’ and hung up— er, put me on hold! That is not a way to treat customers. It is a way to turn them off! I wanted to give you my business but now I’m glad you’re closing. I hope you all lose your jobs!”

(We dodged a bullet, having to deal with that level of entitlement. But the joke is on her. We’re all being transferred to another location — and getting raises.)

(The studio I work at has an order turnaround time of about a week. Customers can pay to have their orders shipped to their home, or they can pick it up at our studio for free. Our hours are a little strange: we are closed on Tuesdays, we close for an hour midday for lunch, and we close two hours before the store that we are located inside. A woman rushes in to pick up her portraits.)

Customer: “You’re here!”

Me: *confused* “Yes, I’m here… Are you here for a pickup?”

Customer: “Yes! Finally! This is my fourth try!”

(I’ve had people complain about our hours before, so I brace myself to deal with her anger.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am—”

Customer: “Oh, no, no, no. It’s not your fault at all. I mean, could you guys have made it any more obvious for me?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Well, when I called on Friday to see if my order was in, the nice girl on the phone reminded me that you closed for the night at 7 pm. I forgot that really quickly because I showed up at 7:45 to a dark studio!”

(She’s laughing as she tells me the story and I start to laugh with her.)

Me: “Well, yeah, we do try to remind people that we close before the store.”

Customer: “Exactly! Then, I tried again on Monday and I came right after you guys left for lunch!”

Me: “Yeah, I know the lunch break is weird…”

Customer: “You need to eat! And look! It’s printed right here on my receipt!”

(She puts her receipt on the counter. It’s got her pickup slip attached to it with our hours printed on it. By now she is laughing hysterically at herself.)

Customer: “She even highlighted it for crying out loud!”

Me: “That is quite a saga!”

Customer: “It gets better! I came in on Tuesday!”

Me: *face-palm*

Customer: “In addition to that also being printed and highlighted on my receipt, there is literally a sign RIGHT THERE that says you’re closed on Tuesdays! You would think I’d have been here enough times by this point to know that.”

Me: “Wow…”

Customer: *still laughing as I give her her order* “I mean you guys tried to hard to make sure I came when you were open and it still took me four tries.”

Me: “I’m sorry you had to go through all that!”

Customer: “Trust me… you are not the idiot here.”

(I love it when people are self aware.)