Young Boys Love Player-Time

| Right | March 28, 2013

(I am a female photographer working in a family oriented portrait studio. I have just finished doing Christmas pictures for a single mother and her two young sons. The youngest son, roughly six, is more interested in me.)

Me: “Go ahead and click through those. When you see the ones you want, just write the number down on this first line here. If you have any questions let me know, okay?”

Mother: “Okay, that seems easy enough.”

Boy: “Oh, I have a question!”

Me: “Yes?”

Boy: “Do you like this hat? This hat is so special!”

Me: “That is a neat hat! What makes it special?”

Boy: “It’s got my name on it! See?”

(The name ‘Ruben’ is written in green glitter on his Santa hat.)

Me: “Ruben?! Did you know there’s a really good sandwich named after you?”

Boy: “No way!”

(I check on the mother’s progress.)

Boy: “Hey, hey lady!”

Me: “Yes?”

Boy: “What’s your name?”

Me: “It’s Veronica, why?”

Boy: “Well, if there’s a sandwich named after you, I would so eat it!”

(The mother and I look at him, and laugh. The mother has also made a few decisions on her pictures.)

Me: “Okay, so your photos will be done in about an hour and a half; sound good?”

Mother: “Perfect!”

(The mother picks up the youngest boy and begins to leave my store. As they are leaving, the boy is clawing over her shoulder reaching out at me.)

Boy: “Hey, Veronica! Call me!”

Me: “I’ll call in 20 years, dude!”

Boy: “Okay! Don’t forget to call meeee!”

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A Beautiful Soul

| Right | August 16, 2012

(There’s a photo up on the wall of the studio that has a coworker, a former coworker, and myself in it. People unfortunately usually comment on the former coworker’s appearance. A family comes in with four girls; the second oldest is about 15 and looks at the photo.)

15-year-old Girl: “Oh, she’s really ugly. Look at this ugly girl!”

Mother: “Don’t say things like that out loud.”

15-year-old Girl: “But she’s so ugly!” *turns to her five-year-old sister* “She’s ugly, isn’t she? See how ugly she is!”

Little Sister: “Um, I think ALL these girls are pretty!” *smiles and walks away*

(She made my day!)

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Angst For The Camera

| Right | November 6, 2011

(Note: We mostly take high school senior portraits.)

Me: “Okay, we’re all set! Look right into the camera and give us a big smile!”

(The kid stares blankly for a few shots.)

Me: “Do you want to smile for maybe just the last one or two shots?”

Student: “I never smile. Any time I show emotion, I get hurt.”

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Childhood Innocence, Adulthood Nonsense

| Right | February 10, 2011

(I work as the cashier of a photographer. A customer and her husband walk in, asking for the photos of their children.)

Me: *handing them the photos* “Here you go. You have nice-looking children, by the way.”

Customer: “Thanks, but…can’t you, you know, make my daughter prettier?”

Me: “Prettier?”

Customer: “Yes, I mean, look at her!”

Me: “Madam, I am sure these photographs have been retouched well by my coworkers. If you have any complaints about their work, I can–”

Customer: “NO! I want this to be remade!”

Me: “What exactly bothers you about these photos, anyway?”

Customer: “It’s her boobs. You guys should have made them far bigger!”

Me: “You want them…bigger?”

Customer: “Yes! How hard is that?”

Customer’s husband: *quietly* “Honey, you do realize she is 8 years old?”

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Imperceptions On Imperfections

| Right | June 12, 2010

(A customer comes in to pick up the portraits of her daughter she ordered. I go through the order with her to verify everything is there.)

Customer: “What is this on my daughter’s face!?”

Me: “Well, it looks like her skin has a red mark below her eye.”

Customer: “No! She doesn’t! She looked perfect when we came in and I didn’t see this on the computer before. You did something to them!”

Me: “I’m sorry you’re unhappy, but the photographs are exactly as they appear on the ordering screen. Also, this mark is on her face in the same spot in every pose, so it couldn’t be a printing problem.”

Customer: “Well, no. You’re wrong. You did something to them. my daughter is perfect!”

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