(Working in a photo lab, I see all kinds of terrible pictures. On this occasion, after I develop the negatives, this customer’s pictures are completely out of focus. I develop them anyway, because they seem to be of a vacation, and mark them as “no charge.” When she comes to pick them up, she demands that the cashier come and get me.)

Customer: “These pictures are all out of focus!”

Me: “Yeah, sorry about that. I salvaged everything I could.”

Customer: “I want you to try again.”

Me: “Sure, I’ll see what I can do, but don’t hold your breath.”

(I print them again and try to adjust brightness and saturation to try and get more definition, but it’s still terribly blurry.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, this is the best I can do.”

Customer: “I want you to do this properly, and print them in focus!”

Me: “Ma’am, the only way that’s happening is if I go back in time and teach you how to use a camera.”

(She stormed off and I got a complaint, but it was worth it.)

(I work in a photo lab at a photo store. A woman comes up to me and asks me for a USB cord for her laptop. As I’m busy at the moment and there is a free — female — coworker, I ask the customer to turn to her.)

Customer: *looks at me with big eyes and gasps* “How does she know? She’s a woman!”

Me: *calmly* “So am I!”

(She looked at me for a moment and left quickly.)

(I am a woman in my 30s, picking up a framed photo of the extended family.)

Store Employee: “Nice picture! Is it for a family party?”

Me: “Yes, actually! It’s the great grandfather’s 90th birthday.”

Store Employee: “Those are some good genes!”

Me: “They sure are! He is actually my husband’s grandfather, though.”

Store Employee: “So, he’ll be the one to bury you, then.”

Me: *confused pause* “I… guess… so?”

(I am walking across the floor when an elderly man approaches me, holding a photo. He is very gruff throughout the entire interaction; I am very chipper, as that is my permanent state of being while at work.)

Customer: “Can you help me?”

Me: “I certainly can. What do you need?”

Customer: “I need to copy this picture.”

(I can see this picture was taken by a professional and has their copyright on it. I know that we can copy these pictures only if it’s been 70 years since the photographer’s death, but this picture is not that old.)

Me: “I see. When was it taken?”

Customer: “Ten years ago. Why?”

Me: “I see. Well, it’s got a copyright there, and it was taken by a professional, so we can’t legally copy them.”

Customer: “I’ll just cut it off, then.”

Me: “It was still taken by a professional.”

(He visibly starts getting angry, and waves the picture around.)

Customer: “Then where can I take it?”

Me: “I don’t know, sir. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Well, do you have a cutter?!”

Me: “I don’t have one customers can use.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir—”

Customer: “No, you’re not!”

(And with that he marched away, while inside my head I definitely rescinded the “sorry.”)

Related:
The Customer Is Not Always Copyright, Part 3
The Customer Is Not Always Copyright, Part 2
The Customer Is Not Always Copyright

(I work at a self-service photo lab. You enter your memory card into a computer, select your photos, and enter your name. It prints off a slip, you pay, and you come back later to collect your photos. Every single time, we remind customers to hold onto the receipt with the slip, as it not only proves you paid for your photos, but has your name and order number on it, so we know what photos are yours.)

Customer: “I’m just here to pick up my photos.”

Me: “Sure, no problem; can I get the receipt?”

Customer: “Sorry, mate, I lost it.”

Me: “That’s okay; it happens. What name were they under?”

Customer: *gives his name*

Me: *looks for photos* “I can’t find any order by that name. Did you order them today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I did it like twenty minutes ago.”

Me: “Okay, cool. Let me just look again.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “I still can’t find any photos under that name. Are you sure that’s the name that you ordered them under?”

Customer: *gives me a condescending look* “Mate, I’m pretty sure I know my own name.”

Me: “Fair enough. Let me look again to be sure.”

(I look for the photos again.)

Me: “There is definitely nothing under that name. Are you sure that you printed and paid for them here?”

Customer: “100% sure.”

Me: “There definitely isn’t anything under here with that name.”

(I go through all the orders and show the customer the first photo of each order to see if he recognises his order. We aren’t really meant to do this, but it’s the only way I can think of to ID his order. After about thirty orders:)

Customer: “Yep, that’s one of mine. The next photo should be of a boat.”

(The next photo is indeed of a boat, so I’m confident this is his order.)

Me: “These photos are under the name of [Completely Different Name].”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, that’s right; I used a fake name. Sorry about that.”