Gloss Over The Facts

| IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m on a phone with a customer. I’ve just finished going through all the print sizes, finishes, and prices.)

Customer: “I’m going to send some 8x10s through the internet; how much will they be?”

Me: “They are $3.99.”

Customer: “What finish are your 8×10 prints?”

Me: “They are glossy.”

Customer: “But I need a matte finish.”

Me: “The machine that prints 8x10s can print a glossy finish. You can always go to [location]; they only have the matte finish.”

Customer: “But I want to order them here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our machine is unable to print matte photos.”

Customer: “Can you try?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that machine only prints a glossy finish.”

Customer: “Yes, but can you try?”

Me: “We do not have the ability to print photos with a matte finish. We can only make glossy prints.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you won’t try! You w****!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the w**** who runs the machine is unwilling to talk in circles. Good day!” *click*

Powerful Pictures

| Plymouth, Devon, UK | Technology, Theme Of The Month

(It’s a quiet day in the shop, so I’m busy prepping films to process. A middle-aged lady enters, so I put everything down and greet her.)

Customer: “Hello, my love; do you print photos from digital cameras?”

Me: “We do indeed! We just need your memory card or a USB cable if you have your camera with you.”

Customer: “Oh, good! I’ve brought this in; my pictures are on it.”

(She rummages around in her handbag, and finally places a small oblong of plastic on the counter.)

Me: “I’m ever so sorry, but we’re not going to be able to get your photos from that.”

Customer: “Oh, no! Why not?”

Me: “This is your battery.”

Needs To Learn Copy-Right And Wrong, Part 2

| MN, USA | Criminal & Illegal, History, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(My photo lab has two self-serve machines for customers to order prints of their photos. They either put in electronic media, such as a CD, or camera memory card, or they can scan a print into the computer.)

Customer: “What do I do first?”

Me: “Well, we will scan your pictures, and then tell it what you want.”

(The customer shows me an album of wedding photos that were taken approximately in the 1950s-60s.)

Me: “Unfortunately, these are still protected by [United States] federal copyright law. For anything less than 75 years old, we need permission from the person hired to take the pictures.”

Customer: “But how does the machine know they’re copyrighted?”

Me: “Uh… it doesn’t. That’s my job. We look at each order before printing, to make sure we have proper documentation so we don’t break the law.”

Customer: “Then how do you know they’re less than 75 years old?!”

Me: “They didn’t have cars like that in the 1930s!”

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Needs To Learn Copy-Right And Wrong