A Photo Perfect Finish

, | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests

(I work in the photo processing department of a large retailer. A customer comes in and starts thumbing through the 2×2″ square frames suitable for passport photos, etc. displayed on the processing counter.)

Customer: *abruptly* “Excuse me, can you print photos at this size?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the smallest square size the printer will allow us to produce is 5×5″ – that paper is the smallest paper we have available.”

Customer: “Well, what good is that? This is ridiculous.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “It’s disgusting; this is false and misleading advertising! How dare you stock a product if you won’t stock the supplementary parts!”

Me: “Using that same flawed logic, ma’am, you could argue that it’s false and misleading advertising insofar as we stock baby car-seats, but not cars – or babies!”

(Customer blinked, stared blankly, and then stormed off.)

Gloss Over The Facts

| IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m on a phone with a customer. I’ve just finished going through all the print sizes, finishes, and prices.)

Customer: “I’m going to send some 8x10s through the internet; how much will they be?”

Me: “They are $3.99.”

Customer: “What finish are your 8×10 prints?”

Me: “They are glossy.”

Customer: “But I need a matte finish.”

Me: “The machine that prints 8x10s can print a glossy finish. You can always go to [location]; they only have the matte finish.”

Customer: “But I want to order them here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our machine is unable to print matte photos.”

Customer: “Can you try?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that machine only prints a glossy finish.”

Customer: “Yes, but can you try?”

Me: “We do not have the ability to print photos with a matte finish. We can only make glossy prints.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you won’t try! You w****!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the w**** who runs the machine is unwilling to talk in circles. Good day!” *click*

Powerful Pictures

| Plymouth, Devon, UK | Technology, Theme Of The Month

(It’s a quiet day in the shop, so I’m busy prepping films to process. A middle-aged lady enters, so I put everything down and greet her.)

Customer: “Hello, my love; do you print photos from digital cameras?”

Me: “We do indeed! We just need your memory card or a USB cable if you have your camera with you.”

Customer: “Oh, good! I’ve brought this in; my pictures are on it.”

(She rummages around in her handbag, and finally places a small oblong of plastic on the counter.)

Me: “I’m ever so sorry, but we’re not going to be able to get your photos from that.”

Customer: “Oh, no! Why not?”

Me: “This is your battery.”