Gloss Over The Facts

| IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m on a phone with a customer. I’ve just finished going through all the print sizes, finishes, and prices.)

Customer: “I’m going to send some 8x10s through the internet; how much will they be?”

Me: “They are $3.99.”

Customer: “What finish are your 8×10 prints?”

Me: “They are glossy.”

Customer: “But I need a matte finish.”

Me: “The machine that prints 8x10s can print a glossy finish. You can always go to [location]; they only have the matte finish.”

Customer: “But I want to order them here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our machine is unable to print matte photos.”

Customer: “Can you try?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that machine only prints a glossy finish.”

Customer: “Yes, but can you try?”

Me: “We do not have the ability to print photos with a matte finish. We can only make glossy prints.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you won’t try! You w****!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the w**** who runs the machine is unwilling to talk in circles. Good day!” *click*

Powerful Pictures

| Plymouth, Devon, UK | Technology, Theme Of The Month

(It’s a quiet day in the shop, so I’m busy prepping films to process. A middle-aged lady enters, so I put everything down and greet her.)

Customer: “Hello, my love; do you print photos from digital cameras?”

Me: “We do indeed! We just need your memory card or a USB cable if you have your camera with you.”

Customer: “Oh, good! I’ve brought this in; my pictures are on it.”

(She rummages around in her handbag, and finally places a small oblong of plastic on the counter.)

Me: “I’m ever so sorry, but we’re not going to be able to get your photos from that.”

Customer: “Oh, no! Why not?”

Me: “This is your battery.”

Needs To Learn Copy-Right And Wrong, Part 2

| MN, USA | Criminal & Illegal, History, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(My photo lab has two self-serve machines for customers to order prints of their photos. They either put in electronic media, such as a CD, or camera memory card, or they can scan a print into the computer.)

Customer: “What do I do first?”

Me: “Well, we will scan your pictures, and then tell it what you want.”

(The customer shows me an album of wedding photos that were taken approximately in the 1950s-60s.)

Me: “Unfortunately, these are still protected by [United States] federal copyright law. For anything less than 75 years old, we need permission from the person hired to take the pictures.”

Customer: “But how does the machine know they’re copyrighted?”

Me: “Uh… it doesn’t. That’s my job. We look at each order before printing, to make sure we have proper documentation so we don’t break the law.”

Customer: “Then how do you know they’re less than 75 years old?!”

Me: “They didn’t have cars like that in the 1930s!”

Related:
Needs To Learn Copy-Right And Wrong

Just Point And Spook

| Michigan, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: *hands me a photo* “Hello there. Can you help me scan and make duplicates of a photo?”

Me: “Sure thing! We just use this scanner here—”

(At that moment, I look at photo and notice a white camera strap taking up half the photo. I can see the camera’s brand name on the strap, blurred but readable.)

Me: “Uh, excuse me? Are you sure you want to scan this photo? It seems the camera strap got caught in the lens.”

Customer: “Really? I didn’t notice that. Where is it?”

Me: “Right here, ma’am.” *points at the camera strap*

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU! That’s the spirit of my grandfather! How can you even claim it is a camera strap!?! You are just a terrible employee!” *storms off*

Beyond Even The Power Of Pixel Dust, Part 2

| Melbourne, Australia | Uncategorized

(An elderly lady comes in with a very blurry and old photo she wants made bigger.)

Customer: “This is a photo of my son. He was in a band in the 80’s! I want it made bigger!”

Me: “Madam, this photo is very damaged, blurry and old. It’s probably better that you get it just the standard size so you won’t notice the loss of quality so much.”

Customer: “What do you mean it’s no good? This photo is a good photo! I want it about A4 size!”

Me: “Okay. Do you happen to have the negative?”

Customer: “No, it never had a negative. It was taken with a digital camera!”

Me: “It must have a negative. They didn’t have digital camera’s in the 80’s.”

Customer: “Yes they did! It was digitised!”

Me: “Okay, madam. I will just use this photo and make it bigger for you. It’ll take me about an hour to get it done. But I am just letting you know that the quality will be very bad.”

Customer: “It will look good, don’t you worry. That’s my son! He always looks good!”

Related:
Beyond Even The Power Of Pixel Dust

Page 2/41234