A Real Crappy Photoshop Job

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Crazy Requests, One-Liners, Technology

Customer: “Can you remove this person—” *indicates one child right in the middle of a family photo* “—from this photo? Oh, and be careful, there was a dog taking a fat s*** behind him. If you can see it, remove it, too.”

The Price Of Not Listening

| Yorkshire, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Money

(I am working in a busy photo booth on a Saturday. A lady waves me over because she is struggling to use the photo machines.)

Customer: “Hey, help me. This machine is saying that you can’t print out my photos for me.”

(I check the machine. The limit for our one-hour printing service is 200 prints. If customers need more than 200, they have to choose the 24 hour service. However, I decide to be helpful.)

Me: “Okay, the reason it won’t work for the one hour service is that you’re asking for 212 prints. That isn’t usually allowed, but since there’s no other pictures for me to print, I’ll put the order through. However, it will cost a lot more to get them all printed within the hour. Are you sure you don’t want to come back tomorrow?”

Customer: “Yes, yes, I need them today.”

Me: “That’s fine, but it will be almost twice the price—”

Customer: “YES, that’s fine. I need them today!”

(I process the order and she leaves. An hour later she returns for her pictures.)

Me: “Here are your prints. Your total is [total].”

Customer: “What? No it isn’t! That’s far more than I expected! It’s double the price! Why is it so expensive?”

Me: *sighing inwardly* “The prints cost more if you select the one hour service.”

Customer: “Well, nobody told me that. You should have told me it would cost more! This is ridiculous. I’m NEVER coming here AGAIN!”

A Photo Perfect Finish

, | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests

(I work in the photo processing department of a large retailer. A customer comes in and starts thumbing through the 2×2″ square frames suitable for passport photos, etc. displayed on the processing counter.)

Customer: *abruptly* “Excuse me, can you print photos at this size?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the smallest square size the printer will allow us to produce is 5×5″ – that paper is the smallest paper we have available.”

Customer: “Well, what good is that? This is ridiculous.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “It’s disgusting; this is false and misleading advertising! How dare you stock a product if you won’t stock the supplementary parts!”

Me: “Using that same flawed logic, ma’am, you could argue that it’s false and misleading advertising insofar as we stock baby car-seats, but not cars – or babies!”

(Customer blinked, stared blankly, and then stormed off.)

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