My boss has a temper, but he likes and respects me. He still yells at me — but not on purpose, I think.

[Boss] is on the phone screaming at some poor employee about something mundane. I make eye contact with him and then a throat-spitting motion generally known to mean “Cut it out.” [Boss] lowers his voice, but he is still being bad.

I put out my hand, and after a pause, [Boss] hands me the phone.

Me: *To the worker on the phone* “Hi! Why don’t you take a sec, and then we can work on whatever this is? I’ve just heard my boss’s side. Everyone heard him, I would think.”

[Boss] stares angrily.

Worker: “I’m not sure what he wants, actually. I don’t have enough information to access his account.”

Me: “Okay, let’s start with that.”

We access [Boss]’s account and figure out that there is a very small overdue amount that he is upset about, probably. I don’t ask.

Me: *To the worker* “I’m putting you on hold.” *To [Boss]* “I need your business credit card for a moment. Just trust me.”

[Boss] frowns deeply but gets it for me.

Me: *To the worker* “Okay, I’m back. I can pay the overdue amount now.” *Does so* “Is there anything else that looks wrong?”

Worker: “I think he shouldn’t have any issues…”

Me: “Is it possible I can call you back directly if this doesn’t solve whatever issue he had?”

Worker: “Um… Yes… but please don’t have him call? I just… feel like it was more efficient to talk to you… He is still a valued customer, of course.”

Me: “Oh, of course!”

After concluding the call and returning the card, I take a deep breath in front of [Boss] because that often tricks him into doing a deep breath subconsciously.

Boss: “That worker was an a**hole. Everyone I’ve talked to today has been a total a**hole.”

Me: “You know what all those interactions had in common?”

Boss: “Idiots.”

Me: “Your words, not mine.”

Boss: “…?”

Me: “You are the common denominator. You don’t need to be an a**hole to everyone.”

Boss: “No… You don’t know what it’s like! It’s hard not to lose my temper when they won’t help.”

Me: “I actually get practice not losing my temper all day.”

Boss: “Because you are surrounded by idiots?”

Me: “Only when I’m around you. Please follow my example and don’t yell at people. If your throat hurts and people are looking at you weird, you are probably yelling.”

[Boss] got up and walked away with a scowl.

I work at a retail chain store in a small area. We have been warned about answering calls because a lot of people are calling to complain about our Pride collection and being extremely rude.

Me: “[Store], [Location]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Are you still selling your Pride collection?”

I know where this is going.

Me: “Yes, we are!”

Customer: “And are your bathrooms still available for everybody?”

Me: “Yep!”

Customer: “Well, we are starting a boycott! You should change your polic—”

Click! I hang up on her.

Me: *On the radio* “Hey, boss, I got one!”

My husband found out the other day from his sister that several of his siblings had presented their parents with a memorial plaque for their anniversary. My husband was never asked to contribute, which is unusual for this group; typically everyone is asked to pass the hat.

He asked [Sister-In-Law] how much the plaque cost and said that he wanted to contribute to it after the fact. This is when [Sister-In-Law] started getting cagey, dodging the question, and finally telling my husband to “pay it forward.”

Husband: “‘Pay it forward’ is for drive-thrus. How much did the plaque cost?”

Again, she refused to say. She finally told him:

Sister-In-Law: “Just pay me $25 to $30.”

Husband: “No, I’ll determine what my share is after knowing the final amount.”

Again, she refused to answer, insisting that he should pay her $25 to $30 to “pay it forward”.

I contacted another in-law of mine, who is married to my husband’s brother, and told her the situation. She asked her husband and found out that [Sister-In-Law] had nothing to do with the plaque and hadn’t spent any money on it at all. Another sibling had bought the plaque without any outside contribution.

So, basically, [Sister-In-Law] had seized the opportunity to try to grift off my husband.

[Sister-In-Law] is an anti-vaxxer, so in response, my husband made a donation in her name to a pro-vaccine charity and sent her a text to let her know exactly how he’d “paid it forward”. She’s now also signed up for multiple vaccine charity mailing lists.

I’m on the phone with a client.

Client: “Could you edit this button on the website?”

Me: “Which one are you talking about?”

Client: “This one.”

Me: “Which one?”

Client: “The one my mouse is pointing at! Are you blind?!”

Me: “…We’re having this conversation over the phone. I can’t see your mouse.”

Client: “Well then, go onto the site! I’m hovering the mouse right over the button. It’s hard to miss!”

Me: “What?!”

My mum once won $10,000 in travel vouchers. It was a raffle being held by her insurance company for “new” policies. Apparently, that included making changes to an existing policy, and Mum was automatically entered without knowing.

When she received a call telling her that she had $10,000 in vouchers and they just needed to confirm her details, she told them:

Mum: “I know you are a scam.”

And she hung up. She didn’t give it a second thought until she got home, checked her emails, and found one that appeared to be from her insurance company.

One call later, she had confirmed that it was real and apologized profusely.