How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 25

, | Quincy, MA, USA | Working | July 13, 2017

(I am in graduate school. I get a call at about four am.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hi, I’m calling from [Credit Company], looking for [My Name].”

(This company had been out of business for years, and I’d never shopped there much less had a credit card. However, after moving to the Boston area, I’d received several collection calls and visits for someone with the same first and last name.)

Me: “That’s my name but I’ve never had a credit line with you. Are you sure I’m the right person?”

Caller: “Well, can you tell me the last four digits of your social security number.” *I give her the digits* “Okay, you’re not the one I need.”

Me: “By the way, do you realize what time it is? You called me at four am!”

Caller: “Oh, sorry about that. We’re located in Chicago.”

(I laid there, groggy, for about five minutes before I realized that it was three am in Chicago.)


Your Scam Is Cracked

, , | Right | June 29, 2017

(I work in a repair centre where we repair phones under the warranty, or charge for repairs if the phone is damaged, e.g. dropped and the screen is cracked, and our out-of-warranty repairs have a 30 day guarantee.)

Customer: “A while ago I paid you a lot of money to fix my phone screen, then it came back, and the screen was still cracked. I now need you to sort this out as you have not done the service I paid for.”

Me: “I’m sorry that has happened. Could you please provide me with the repair reference so I can look into this for you?”

Customer: “Sure. it is [number].”

Me: *sees the repair is from 11 months ago* “I’m just going to check for any other repairs. The reference you gave me was for 11 months ago.”

(That was the only repair.)

Me: “Miss, that repair was 11 months ago, and we did not receive any calls advising us that you received it back with the screen still cracked. This is the first we have been told about it.”

Customer: “I am telling you now, and the other faults are still on there, so I need it to be fixed.”

Me: “You are welcome to book it in for repair again, but I must advise you that if you do, we are going to have to charge again for the screen as this is the first we have heard of it and it was almost a year ago.”

Customer: “What do you mean? I paid you to repair the screen, and you sent it back unrepaired; I am not paying again!”

Me: “I am sorry, but due to the length of time we are unable to do anything. If you had notified us within a month that the phone had been received back with the screen still cracked, we could have rectified it for you. But because you received the phone back so long ago, we have to assume that you have been using it problem free up until now.”

Customer: “You seriously expect me to have been able to call you about this within a month? That is ridiculous; I have never received such awful service. We have not been able to use anything on the phone at all, not even turn it on. We should have been notified in writing that if there are any issues that we need to contact you within 30 days?!”

(Then her mother came on and said that they would be lodging a complaint. As there were engineer notes stating it had been repaired, we suspected this had been damaged in transit, and with most couriers you only get 14 days to report any additional damage. The worst part is, during her long ranting she told me that this was a £40 a month contract, so (including the cost of the original repair and contract they were unable to use for 11 months) have spent close to £600 for a phone they have been unable to use at all and was presumably lying in a drawer somewhere.)

Weirdness Is Reaching Boiling Point

, , , , | Friendly | June 28, 2017

Friend: “So [Friend #2] was over earlier and was boiling water on the stove on the highest setting… Who boils water on high?!”

Me: “Uhh… everybody?”

Friend: “What?! No. You’re supposed to boil water on medium to medium-high heat!”

Me: “Why? It’s just going to take longer.”

Friend: “No, seriously. I read the instructions when I bought the pot and it said not to use the highest heat setting.”

Me: *teasing* “Look at you, reading instructions!”

Friend: “Who doesn’t read instructions?! Everybody reads instructions!”

Me: “But on a pot?”

Friend: “I wanted to know how to take care of it so I could get the most use out of it!”

Me: “I hate to break it to you, but you’re the weird one here.”

Friend: “Hey! I’m not the only person who boils water that way!”

Me: “Yeah, but it’s just you and other weirdos. I accept you and your weird ways for what they are, but you’re still weird.”

Friend: “I’m not weird!”

(Yes, she is.)

Unfiltered Story #90271

, | Unfiltered | June 23, 2017

(The prescription company for my insurance CONSTANTLY harasses me about getting my prescription delivered to my mailbox. I was on my insurance, then my husband’s (which used this same company), then back to mine. I miss a call, and this is the voicemail)

Rep: “Hi I’m [name] with [company] and we’d like to talk to you about your current prescription. Please return my call, or I will send you an email and you may reply to that.”

Rep on Email: “Hi I’m [name] with [company] and we’d like to talk to you about your current prescription. Please reply to this email with a better time to reach you.”

(I assume it’s about the mail, as always, but wonder if it could be a legitimate problem)

Me on Email: “Hi, I prefer email communication since I work in a cube environment. What can I do for you?”

(Several days later, I get another phone call)

Rep: “Hi I’m [name] with [company] and we’d like to talk to you about your current prescription. I called you and sent you an email the other day.”

Me: “I know. I replied to it.”

Rep: “I didn’t receive it….oh here it is..” *read my email, including the part where I don’t want to talk on the phone* “I want to ask if you’re aware that you can have your prescription delivered to your house once every three months?”

Me: “Yes, and it’s garbage and I’ll never use it.”

Rep: “Your prescription or the service?”

Me: “….the service.”

Rep: “Why is that?”

Me: “Because I don’t want to leave my prescriptions in a box by the side of the road for anyone to take.”

Rep: “Oh…okay.”

(I wanted to say “yes, this prescription I’ve been going to the doctor to for 7 years to get, and going to the pharmacy to pick up every month, is garbage that I won’t take. Clearly that’s what I meant, and not this service you’ve been trying to get me to use for 7 years, but I’ve said ‘no’ every single time”)

Sickening Level Of Control

, , | Related | June 12, 2017

(Mom calls.)

Me: “Hi, Mom.”

Mom: “How are you doing this fine day?” *she’s usually this cheerful*

Me: “Awful. I’m sick to my stomach. I’d feel a whole lot better in an instant if I could just puke up what’s in there. Unfortunately, I just can’t. You know, I’ve always been that way. I was so miserable as a kid sometimes because I found it almost impossible to vomit.”

Mom: “Yes, sweetie, I knew that. And I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for that.”

Me: *groans*

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