At Least We Know This Doesn’t Happen To Him Often

, , , , | Legal | January 7, 2021

I am stopped at a light where the road is sheer ice, and I get rear-ended. Since it’s impossible for me to brake, due to the ice, the effect is similar to a curling rock and I slide forward and hit the vehicle in front of me. Even though three vehicles are involved, it is a very minor incident.

We exchange insurance information and numbers and go about our way after a few minutes. There is no visible damage to the car that hit me, I have a few scratches on my car, and the guy I hit has a cracked back bumper.

A few days later, I text the guy who hit me to make sure I got the right number. After confirming, he says:

Driver: “Let it go to the police. If they decide I need to pay, then I will contact my insurance, no problem. Can we let the police decide? Let’s choose the time and then go to the police; whatever the police decide, I will be ready to do it.”

I just couldn’t believe it. I guess he’d never been in an accident before, but who thinks this is how it works?

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Made A Baraboo-Boo

, , , , | Right | January 1, 2021

I’m being helped at the customer service desk when the store phone rings. I hear the associate’s side of the conversation. It’s worth noting that the store is having a major promotion and the line at the service desk is quite long.

Associate: “Hello, thank you for calling your [Town] [Store] today. How can I help you?”

The associate pauses while the customer speaks.

Associate: “I’m sorry. I don’t have a phone book here, so I wouldn’t be able to look up a number in another city.”

There’s another pause.

Associate: “No, our registers can’t get on the Internet. And we really don’t—”

The associate is cut off by the customer.

Associate: “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

There’s a pause.

Associate: “No, like I said, I don’t have a phone book. You could call directory assistance.”

One more pause.

Associate: “Again, I’m sorry. I can’t help you. Goodbye.”

Me: “Weird question?”

Associate: “He wanted me to look up a phone number for a person in Baraboo. Just a random person. I have no idea why he thought we could do that.”

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Christmas Is Calling

, , , , | Right | December 24, 2020

It’s Christmas Eve, and our hours have changed for the upcoming holiday. All day, the phones have been ringing with a common theme: how long are we open?

Manager: “I wish people would actually check the website.”

Me: “I’m gonna change the greeting to say the hours.”

Manager: “What if it doesn’t work? Then you’ll just sound obnoxious.”

Then, the phone rings:

Me: “Hello, and thank you for calling [Store] where we’re open until eight. [My Name] speaking; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh! Until eight? Perfect.” *Click*

Manager: “Yeah, let’s use that greeting.”

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Not Phoning This One In

, , , , | Working | November 18, 2020

I am a casual at my job. I can get called in with little to no warning. At a previous job, I was held hostage without my phone, and I have developed an unhealthy attachment to having my phone on me at all times. If I do not, I get rather… nervous. This has gotten me into disagreements with my current supervisor, but not with our boss. I have another casual coworker who is hard to get a hold of.

Me: *Answering my phone* “Hello, this is [My Name] speaking.”

Supervisor: “Oh, hello, [My Name]. It’s [Supervisor]. I was won—  Actually, no, I just have to say first that it is so wonderful that you answer your phone every time I call. It’s really wonderful.”

Me: “Um… Thank you. It’s because I always have my phone on me.”

Supervisor: “Um… Yes, well, I was wondering if…”


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What Part Of “I Don’t Know Him” Is Confusing?

, , , , , | Working | November 16, 2020

For several days, I’ve been receiving phone calls for a man. I keep telling people that they have the wrong number, but more and more companies keep calling. They’re for auto insurance quotes, realtors, and landlords trying to set up viewings, banks — all sorts of things that, when put together, makes it sound like [Wrong Person] is moving to the area. The truly bizarre part is that my number is from when I lived in another state, but all the calls are from businesses within half an hour of my current home. I keep telling them that they have the wrong number, but this caller is the worst.

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hi, this is [Caller] with [Bike Dealership]. I’m looking for [Wrong Person].”

Me: “I’m sorry, he keeps giving out this number but it’s incorrect.”

Caller: “Uhhh, is this [my number]?”

Me: “Yes, but [Wrong Person] is not associated with it.”

Caller: “Well, he put it down as his contact.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know him.”

Caller:  “Can you give me his number?”

Me: *Pause* “I… just said I don’t know him.”

Caller: “I need to talk to him about this bike we’re customizing for him.”

Me: *Sigh* “I don’t know him, nor do I know how to get in contact with him.”

Caller: “Just tell him to call me back.”

Me: “I can’t. I don’t—”

He hangs up.

Not five minutes later, the same number calls again.

Me: “If you’re calling for [Wrong Person], stop.”

Caller: “Quit f****** around. I’ve got work to do. Put him on.”

Me: “Why would I tell you he’s not here if he is?”

Caller: “I don’t know but you need to stop. I’m busy and I don’t have time for this bulls***.”

Me: “Yeah, so am I, but I’m taking the time to politely tell you that there’s a mistake on your paperwork and you’re swearing at me.”

Caller: “I don’t have time for this. I really don’t. Tell [Wrong Person] to come pick up his piece of s*** bike.”

He hangs up again.

The next day, the same number calls for a third time, but I let it go to voicemail. The man leaves a message. 

Caller: “Uhh, I was trying to get in contact with [Wrong Person]… but I don’t think he’s there.”

I stopped answering numbers I didn’t know, and the calls for [Wrong Person] stopped. After the second call from that guy, I updated my voicemail message to say my name and phone number, and to say that I do NOT know anyone named [Wrong Person] and would not be responsible for relaying information to him.

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