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We’ll Just Assume He Wants To Call He-Man

, , , | Right | April 16, 2021

I work at a phone retail shop in the high street, which means we are home to more tourists than actual locals. You’d think this meant we’d have lower targets for contracts, but nope, we have higher targets because we have a higher footfall. That isn’t even the best part. The tourists are usually people that have little to no understanding of the local language.

A customer comes into the store, straight up to me, and says something in his native language that sounds like “heean.”

Me: “Hi, how can I help?”

Customer: “Heean?”

Me: “Would you like to purchase a SIM card?”

Customer: “Heean.”

I pop open a translate app on my phone.

Me: “Why don’t you tell me what you’d like, here?”

Usually, tourists are super happy at this point, but not him. He swats my phone away, annoyed.

Customer: “Heean, heean!”

Me: “Mate, I don’t speak your language. I have literally no idea what you want.”

I point at the accessory stand.

Me: “Is it something from here?”

I point at cases and chargers because that’s what tourists usually want.

Me: “Any of these?”

The customer glances at the accessory stand and then turns back to me.

Customer: “HEE AAN!”

I am completely baffled at this point, and I turn to my colleague, who just shrugs back. I wish I could say his rudeness fazes me, but I’m so used to tourist abuse that it doesn’t even register.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t help you.”

I took two steps back and gave him an apologetic shrug. The customer then said something else in his native language and rolled his eyes at me before leaving.

I have absolutely no idea what language he was speaking or what he wanted.