The Cosmos Of Kindness

, , , , , , | Hopeless | July 5, 2018

This is one of those weird cosmic coincidences. Five or so years ago I was driving home from work and noticed a homeless girl, probably in her early 20s, standing at the exit of an underpass. It was the middle of a Phoenix summer in the afternoon, so this girl was braving near 115-degree weather, which is hot enough to cause heat stroke. Her shirt was in tatters, held together with safety pins, and she only had a rough-looking bag slung over her shoulder.

As I didn’t have any food or cash on me, I pulled over and talked to her. It turns out she’d been kicked out of her home by an abusive now-ex boyfriend, who had destroyed all of her belongings out of spite. I offered to get her some healthy food from a nearby grocery store, which she gladly accepted. In the end, I got her some healthy-ish meals that wouldn’t spoil easily — lots of dried fruits and unsalted nuts — vitamins, a new shirt, and tampons, as the poor girl had been without for several months. She was immensely grateful, and refused any further help from me. She went about her day, and I quickly forgot the incident.

Fast forward a few years later, and one of my roommates was in a horrible car accident. When I rushed to the hospital, guess who the EMT who got her in the ambulance was?

That girl helped save my roommate’s life, and I’ll forever be thankful to her for it.

Just goes to show you that kindness really can save a life!

Copay Or No Way

, , , , , | Right | June 23, 2018

(The office where I work has a fee for any cancellations with less than 24 hours notice. We also have a policy to collect copays up front at the time of service. Both of these policies are par for the course in the offices in our area.)

Patient: *hands me her insurance card*

Me: “Okay, it looks like you have a $10 copay.”

Patient: “I don’t have any money!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we do require that you pay your copay at the time of your visit.”

Patient: “Well, I have no money, so I can’t pay you anything.”

Me: “Okay… Let me check with my manager to see what we can do.”

Patient: “Never mind! I don’t have time for this!” *turns and leaves our office*

Me: “Okay, then.” *bills her the $25 cancellation fee, instead*

Like Music To My Fears

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2018

(I work for a moving truck rental company. One Sunday morning, a customer who looks to be in her mid-30s walks in with pop music playing quite loudly from her phone’s speaker. She sets the phone on the counter, music still playing, before talking to me.)

Customer: “Can I get a truck?”

Me: *having heard her perfectly well* “I’m sorry; I couldn’t hear you over your music.”

Customer: *not getting the hint and just raising the volume of her voice* “I WANT A TRUCK.”

(The transaction continues as normal until the song ends and another one starts playing.)

Customer: *still yelling* I don’t even like this song!

(I stand there for a minute, expecting her to maybe turn it off or at least change the song, but she doesn’t do anything, so I continue with the transaction. I finally get to the payment portion.)

Me: “Will you be paying cash or card today?”

Customer: “What do you mean, today? I’ll pay when I come back. That’s how I always do it.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s company policy to take money up front. We’re not able to just give trucks out on good faith and hope they’ll come back paid for!” *slight chuckle*

Customer: *still completely serious* “I want to pay cash, but I want to pay when I get back.”

Me: “We can’t do that, ma’am.”

Customer: “Fine, put it on my credit card!”

(Thankfully, the card goes through and I’m able to finish the transaction and get the customer out the door and into her truck. When I get back inside, my coworker, who was listening the entire time, starts laughing.)

Coworker: “Why didn’t you just ask her to turn her music off?”

Me: “Do you really think she would have listened?”

Coworker: *pauses for a second* “Not a chance, no.”

Unfiltered Story #113869

, , | | Unfiltered | June 11, 2018

( I had a customer who didn’t quite seem to understand basic math)
Customer: This (salsa) should be two for five dollars! Why isn’t it ringing up for two for five dollars?!
Me: (I check the price and it has rung up as $2.50) sir, the price is correct. You are getting your salsa for $2.50.
Customer: This is false advertising! I want this at two for five dollars!!
Me: Sir, $2.50 plus $2.50 equals $5.00.
(This goes on in circles for about five minutes until my manager walks by.)
Manager: Sir, this is 2 for $5 like the deal says, even though you are only getting one, you are getting it for the deal’s price.
Customer: No! This is false advertising! I am never going to shop here again!

At Least Your Alcohol Addiction Supported An Old Lady

, , , , | | Legal | May 22, 2018

(It is about 15 years ago, and I am a greeter at a gigantic nationwide store. My duties are to make sure the front of the store is a safe place, all the carts are clean, and cart wipes are stocked in the proper container. Occasionally, something will set the buzzer off and I have to check the receipt to find a common data point between all the things that set off the buzzer that day, but other than that, it is usually a pretty chill job. This is the tale of one afternoon shift that is decidedly not chill: An incredibly old, frail, and somewhat wobbly woman comes through the doorway with a cart, and sets the buzzer off.)

Old Woman: “Oh, dear me! What is that?”

Me: “Hi, ma’am! I’m [My Name], and please don’t worry. It’s an alarm that makes sure everything is scanned and all tags are deactivated, like on pharmacy items, liquor, and detergents. I’m so sorry for the scare there! May I see your receipt, for the register and order numbers?”

Old Woman: “I went through the pharmacy, and then I grabbed this cart from over by those old registers they never use except for the holiday season, what with the Black Friday and Thanksgiving and all that…”

(While she’s talking, I take a quick look at the cart, noticing quite a few bottles of liquor, partly covered by newspapers and a torn up box. A common trick, but only in a much younger demographic.)

Me: “Oh, okay, ma’am. Well, it looks like you may have grabbed someone else’s cart. There’s actually a few bottles of liquor in here.”

Old Woman: *is very confused* “Liquor? Like bourbon and whiskey?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Old Woman: “Oh, no, dear, I don’t use any of that… A Scotch every other week, maybe some baking with rum or something for the holidays, but I don’t buy it. My husband does all that stuff! Oh, heavens, all this trouble! Well, I was just getting my prescription, but I took this cart from the old registers! Oh, but you…” *motions towards me with one hand, and almost falls, catching herself on the cart* “…well, you can take all this rubbish out, right? I need this to walk to my car!”

Me: “Well, yeah, but I think it may be easier for you tonight if you just got a scooter.” *points at the electric carts*

Old Woman: “Oh, no. Oh, no. That won’t do.” *tries to walk with the cart, but is even more wobbly*

Me: “Ma’am? I’d much rather see you safe in a scooter than wobbling and falling. The young man bringing in carts will help you out to your car, okay?”

Old Woman: “Well, all right, if you insist.”

Me: “I do, yes. I’m sorry for the scare; you have a better day, okay?”

Old Woman: “Well, you just added a bit of excitement in this old woman’s day. You have a good evening now, child.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(The courtesy clerk quickly gets her purse, and I make a stop motion as he starts to grab the liquor. He whispers:)

Clerk: “Like what, she stole it?”

Me: *whispering back* “No. This isn’t even her stuff at all! Totally unintentional.”

(I think that the matter is finished, and all I have to do is take the cart back to the LP department so they can do their thing. But, as I’m walking the liquor filled cart to Customer Service, some random woman, reeking of liquor and looking worse than drunk, grabs my arm. She has an incredibly fragile, tough-girl act going on:)

Drunk Girl: “Yo! Like, why’d you move my cart, b****?”

Me: “This cart? An old woman was using it to support herself while she was walking out of the store!” *quickly reaches the Customer Service desk*

Drunk Girl: *walking briskly beside me* “YO! LIKE, NO, B****! YOU DON’T F****** TOUCH MY STUFF!” *tries and fails to grab the cart* “I PAID FOR ALL OF THIS, YA KNOW!?”

Me: “Sure. Okay.” *quickly moves the cart of booze behind the Customer Service desk* “I just need to see your receipt for all of that. Immediately.”


Me: *turns around to the clerk* “Hey! Page LP real quick. We’ve got a live one.”

Clerk: “Already done.”

(The drunk girl ran and took the cart from behind the desk, and as she ran towards the other doorway, a couple of police officers stopped her, one handcuffing her and the other redirecting the cart towards Customer Service where the LP guy was waiting. She was arrested when they found that she had an outstanding warrant, but they added underage drinking, public intoxication, and a couple of other things.)

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