Splitting Hairs Over The Definition

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | January 11, 2017

Customer: “I have a question about the dry shampoo. It says here on the can that it’s flammable. Does that mean if I spray too much on my hair and go out in the sun my hair will catch fire?”

(Speechless, not sure if she was joking, I quickly reassured her that the flammable message was about leaving the actual can near heat, and her hair wouldn’t catch fire when she went out into the sun.)

Acting Like She Was Born Yesterday

| NJ, USA | Right | January 3, 2017

(I’m waiting in line at the pharmacy; there’s one other gentleman in front of me, and then a fairly stereotypical “little old lady” up at the counter. I try not to judge, but…)

Lady: “I’m sorry, I just don’t understand.”

Pharmacist: “I just need you to give me your birth date for the system.”

Lady: “But those are my pills.”

Pharmacist: “I know, but I need to be able to type your birth date into the computer.”

Lady: “I don’t understand. I gave you my name.”

Pharmacist: “Yes, ma’am, but I need both your name AND your birth date.”

Lady: “Do I look like I’m too young to get pills?”

Pharmacist: “It’s not how old you are, ma’am. We just need the confirmation so we don’t give the wrong pills to the wrong person.”

Lady: “But they’re MY pills.”

Pharmacist: “Yes, ma’am. Please, just tell me the month and day you were born on…”

(This goes in a loop for about seven minutes, with the line getting longer and longer. Finally she relents and gives her birthdate… And takes another ten minutes trying to sort out how to use the credit card reader, refusing to let either the pharmacist or anyone else help her. Finally, she gets done, shuffles away, and the gentleman in front of me is called up.)

Man: “I’m picking up for [Man], my birthday is [Date], my phone number is [Number], my address is [Address], my first born’s name is [Son], and you can HAVE him if it speeds this up!”

(The rest of us, including the pharmacist, burst out laughing!)

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The Grinch Who Can’t Accept Checks

, | PA, USA | Right | December 27, 2016

(It’s Christmas Day, and I work at a pharmacy retail store that is part of a very large chain. We are a 24 hour store, and we don’t close on Christmas, so we’re usually the only place open. Christmas Day sales are mostly batteries and last minute gift cards, and there’s been a steady stream of customers all morning. During a lull, an older woman walks in.)

Woman: “Hello! I would like to purchase six [Store] gift cards, each one for $10.”

Me: “Okay!”

(I grab the gift cards from next to the till, and count them quickly to make sure I have the right amount.)

Woman: “Now, should I make this out to [Store]?”

(At this point, I realize that she’s writing a check, which my register won’t let me accept as payment for gift cards, so I speak up.)

Me: “Oh, unfortunately, I can’t take a check.”

Woman: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yeah, sorry, it’s a store policy. [Chain Store #1] and [Chain Store #2] don’t either. I can take cash, credit, or debit, but that’s it.”

Woman: “Well, I don’t have a debit card, and I don’t have any cash!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I still can’t accept a check.”

Woman: “You, young man, have just ruined Christmas!”

(I told my manager about what the customer said, and was known as “The Grinch” for the rest of the holiday season!)

Google: Old School

| CT, USA | Right | December 14, 2016

(I’m a pharmacy technician. One day I’m working the phones when I get this interesting call. I pick up and it’s an elderly woman on the other end.)

Me: “[Company], [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, do you do pneumonia vaccines?”

Me: “Actually we do. Did you want to come in for one?”

Customer: “How many types do you have?”

Me: “There’s two different vaccines, [Vaccine #1], and [Vaccine #2]. They’re good for about five years each.”

Customer: “Okay, and how do you spell that?”

Me: *confused* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “How do you spell the vaccine names?”

(I spell out the vaccine names for her.)

Customer: “So do I add pneumonia after the name of the vaccine?”

Me: *finally putting together that she’s trying to type in the names for an Internet search* “No, just the names should be fine.”

Customer: “Okay, thank you!”

Me: “No problem. Have a good day now.”

Coworker: “What was that about?”

Me: “I think I just did an over-the-phone Google search.”

Suddenly Thankful For Health Insurance

| CA, USA | Right | December 13, 2016

(I work as a pharmacist in a pharmacy inside a department store. This takes place on Black Friday and the entire store has massive sales going on; however, the pharmacy is just running under normal business hours. This is the first but not last occurrence this entire day.)

Patient: “You guys are open today?”

Me: “Yes, we are. Just normal hours today, though.”

Patient: “So that means I get my prescriptions half off, right?”

Me: “No, that’s not how it works.”

Patient: “But the entire store is on sale. You guys should be, too!”

Me: “Well, there’s no Black Friday in the pharmacy.”

Patient: “YOU SHOULD!”

Me: “Tell you what; I can give you 30% off the cash price of your prescription. I can’t discount insurance, but I can work with the cash price. Just don’t tell anyone I’m doing this.”

Patient: “Sure!”

Me: “Okay, the cost of your prescription with the discount is… [price around $3000].”

Patient: “What?! I pay $5 normally!”

Me: “Well, that’s the cost of the prescription, so take it or leave it.”

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