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Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 8

| Lebanon, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Excuse me; can I use this coupon here?”

(The coupon looks like a standard buy-one-get-one coupon, and I see that she has some of the items depicted.)

Me: “Yes, you should be able to!”

(I ring up the items, but end up having trouble with the coupon.)

Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry; I didn’t look at the coupon closely. You need to buy two [Brand] items to get these items free.”

Customer: “But I did buy them!”

Me: “Were they on the counter? I don’t think I rang any up…”

Customer: “No, I bought them at [Store next door].”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “I have the receipt; I can show you that I’m not lying…”

Me: “No, no, that’s not… To use the coupon, you usually have to buy them in the same purchase… at the same store.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I don’t think the coupon says that.”

Me: “I don’t think they felt it needed to…”

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 7
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 6
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 5

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Obama-Careless, Part 3

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Politics

(I work in a pharmacy where I hear about how awful the new healthcare laws are at least four times a day. I personally have Marketplace coverage and keep my mouth shut all the time, but this one is too stupid to overlook:)

Customer: “I need refills on my medication.”

Me: “Okay, let me look it up… I’m sorry, sir, you have no refills left. I can fax the doctor to ask for more.”

Customer: *stares at me like I just committed murder* “See! This is that d*** Obamacare! I need my medication!”

Me: *in the calmest voice possible* “Sir, do you understand how pharmacy works? You used all your refills already. If you would like I can try to call the White House and see if President Obama can authorize a new prescription.”

(I pick up the phone and call information and ask to be connected to the White House.)

Customer: “Don’t be rude to me! You’re obviously an Obama lover.”

Me: “No, I just wanted you to see how uneducated and ridiculous you sound. By the way Obama is not in the office right now so you’ll have to wait on those refills. Have a great day!”

(I walked away.)

Related:
Obama-Careless, Part 2
Obama-Careless

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Maybe You Didn’t Say What You Thought You Said

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bizarre, Language & Words

(We have a lot of multicultural customers come into our store and as I love languages I like to ask about their accents and learn a phrase or two if I can. A young woman and her elderly mother have been talking in another language before coming to my register.)

Me: “Hi there, did you find everything okay? And do you mind me asking what language that was?”

Daughter: “It’s a dialect of Italian.”

Me: “How would I say ‘have a nice day’?”

Mother: “Fi una bella giornata.”

(As I hand them their purchases.)

Me: “Well, then, fi una bella giornata!”

Daughter: “Very good!”

(The mother then says something in Italian before slapping me in the rear.)

Mother: “Maybe I find you boyfriend!”

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Understands The Condom Minimum

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Health & Body, Popular, Rude & Risque

(Working in a busy pharmacy, a teenage boy and his girlfriend came up to the counter.)

Boy: “I’m looking for the condoms.” *smiling at his girlfriend, she’s looking embarrassed*

Me: “Aisle 10, right hand side.”

Boy: “Yeah, but you see, I need some extra-large condoms. The regular ones are way too small for me.” *smirking at his girlfriend*

Me: “Seriously?”

(I stand back, heave my leg up on the counter and point to it.)

Me: “See this ankle? I recently broke it, and had a cast on. I used regular-sized condoms on it to waterproof it when I had showers. If your penis is larger than this—” *pointing to my leg still up on the counter* “—then I seriously suggest you keep it away from her—” *pointing to girlfriend* “—as it’s going to do some serious damage!”

(Both boy and girlfriend walked away without saying another word.)

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Doesn’t Have The Drive To Study Geography

| WV, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Transportation

(As I ring up a customer’s purchases, she gets chatty.)

Customer: “My neighbor is from Puerto Rico.”

Me: “That’s neat!”

Customer: “Yeah. Have you ever been to Puerto Rico?”

Me: “No, I haven’t. It would be nice to visit, though.”

Customer: “I think I’m going to try to go with them to visit sometime.”

Me: “That sounds fun.”

Customer: “How long do you think it takes to drive to Puerto Rico?”

Me: *thinking she’s kidding* “Oh, about as long as it takes to invent a floating car.”

Customer: “Oh. So, like, a long time?”

Me: “Yeah…”

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