Should Keep Their Hopes Low About Getting High

| UK | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I’m working the Sunday shift on my own at the counter, when three young boys in their teens walk in.)

Me: “Good morning, how can I help you today?”

Customer #1: “We’re looking for some salvia.”

Me: “Excuse me… what? Could you repeat that?”

Customer #1: “Salvia.”

Me: *having never heard of this* “I… I’m not sure…”

Customer #2: “SALVIA, you dumb b****! SAL-VEEEE-AAAA!”

Me: “What is it used for?”

Customer #1: *sighs* “I thought you were meant to know all about this stuff? It’s a drug, to get you high, like weed or heroin and stuff.”

Me: “…”

Customer #2: “It’s legal. They haven’t banned it yet!”

Me: “We… we don’t sell recreational drugs here.”

Customer #3: “Well, then, where the h*** are we meant to get it?”

Me: “You could try your local dealer…”

(To this day I still don’t know what possessed them into thinking that a pharmacy would sell recreational drugs!)

A Cent-less Complaint

| NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Popular

Me: “Ma’am, your copay for your prescription is five cents.”

Customer: “You selfish little c***! My copay should be zero! Does it look like I have that kind of money on me!?”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s a nickel. I think you can find one in the cup holder of your car. I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you your prescription without it being paid for.”

Customer: “Well f*** you and this f****** store! I’m calling your management!”

(Two hours later.)

Boss: “We had a complaint about you today. Care to explain?”

Me: “She couldn’t pay for her five cent prescription.”

Boss: *rolling eyes* “Go home.”

Hot-Blooded Versus Low-Blooded

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

(I am a pharmacy student currently working as a technician at a local pharmacy. A patient who is on a blood-pressure lowering medication is now starting a new lowered dose.)

Me: “Hi, Mr. [Patient]. I just wanted to make sure that you’re aware the doctor is changing the dose for your medication?”

Patient: “Yup, I was getting lightheaded and passing out from the medication.”

Me: “Oh, that’s unfortunate. Well, hopefully this new dose works out better for you!”

Patient: “Yeah, so I was on top of my wife and then suddenly I blacked out and I fell on top of her, and it just really killed the mood, y’know? After that, the moment was just over…”

I Prescribe Some Patience

| Sweden | Health & Body

Customer: “I’d like to fill a prescription but I also wanted to ask about this medicine.” *puts two boxes of OTC painkillers on the counter* “Can I use this for my migraine?”

(I start by asking her various questions about the migraine to see whether she should get something OTC or if she should see a doctor. I also ask about contraindications for the particular drug. From the answers I get I explain to her that the drug she chose on the shelf is not suitable for her and I go to the shelf to get a different medicine. All in all this has not taken more than a few minutes, and going to the shelf and back a maximum of 15 seconds. As I return she’s really upset with me and snaps.)

Customer: “How come you got so preoccupied with this? I told you I was here to fill a prescription!”

“Birth” Defect

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Where do you keep your ‘birth checkers’?”

Me: “If by ‘birth checkers’ you actually mean our pregnancy tests… aisle eight, right-hand side, top shelf.”

Customer: “Okay. Do you know if an ultrasound can tell if the baby is white or black?”

Me: “…”

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