Not A Hire Level Of Professionalism

| Frankfurt/Main, Germany | Working | May 2, 2014

(I get a call on the first of April, one day after a job interview.)

Caller: “HEY! HEY! Guess what!”

Me: “Who is this?”

Caller: “It’s [Name] from [Company] from yesterday! You’re hired! All the other applicants were total f****** idiots! That’s why we want you!”

Me: “Uhm, thanks? That’s—”

Caller: “You know what I did? Do you want to hear it?”

Me: “What did you do?”

Caller: “I called all the other applicants and told them they’re hired! And when they got all excited I screamed ‘April Fools!’ Haha, I would have loved to see their faces. The first guy told me he’d sue me! Isn’t that funny?”

Me: “So… is this a joke? Or am I hired?”

Caller: “You’re actually hired. As I said, all the others were total f****** idiots! Welcome to [Company]!”

(I’m not sure if I’m going to take this job…)

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Likes To Party Hard

, | Mexico | Right | May 1, 2014

(I am the cashier at a convenience store that also has a pharmacy on the back. It is a slow day and my pharmacy coworker asks me to watch his station for a minute. A mustached, gallon-hat wearing cowboy (boots and all) comes up to me and asks in a very deep voice:)

Cowboy: “Do you carry generic Viagra?”

Me: *stunned* “I’m sorry. If you could just wait for a minute?”

(Thankfully my coworker heard him and took over. I went back to my station and then the same customer appeared. His purchases? Generic Viagra, a tequila bottle, and a 25-pack of lollipops…)

Please Keep Customer Interaction To A Condominimum, Part 2

| FL, USA | Right | April 29, 2014

(It is a Friday late afternoon. I am mechanically ringing up sales adding “have a nice weekend” to my normal “here’s your receipt” spiel. I realized after saying this to a male customer that he is buying several high-quantity boxes of condoms. I also remember he had a work shirt on with his name sewn on it. I stepped into the pharmacy and talk to my coworkers.)

Me: “Oh, my God!”

Coworker: “What is it?”

Me: “I just told a customer to have a good weekend, before noticing he was buying nothing but condoms! He obviously has plans to do so!”

(About thirty minutes later the phone rings, and the pharmacist picks it up.)

Coworker: “[My Name], you have a phone call.”

(I answer.)

Caller: “Hi, I’m [Customer With Named Shirt]. I’m calling because I want to go out with you this weekend!”

(Um, that would be ‘NO,’ creepy condom dude!)

Related:

Please Keep Customer Interaction To A Condominimum

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Seeing Eye Dog

| England, UK | Right | March 19, 2014

(I am serving on the counter of a small pharmacy on a busy Saturday. A middle aged lady approaches my desk.)

Customer: “Hi. Can I get something for infected eyes, please?”

Me: “Of course. When did the problems with your eyes begin?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s not for me. It’s for my dog. His eyes looked really sore this morning!”

Me: *slightly alarmed* “We don’t sell medicines for pets here, unfortunately. You would have to go a vet to get something for your dog.”

Customer: “No, it’s fine. I give him human medicines all the time!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you anything for your dog. I’m not allowed to do that, and what’s more, I wouldn’t want to cause him any harm.”

Customer: “But… his eyes are the same size as human eyes!”

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Your Ears Must Deceive You

| WA, Australia | Working | January 25, 2014

(It’s eight in the morning on a Saturday, at a very small shop that’s located by a big shopping centre. There’s literally nobody in the car park or in the shops of this place. The only people in the area are the pharmacist and the cashier.)

Me: “Could I get my ears pierced, please?”

Pharmacist: “Sorry. We’re too busy on weekends to pierce ears.”

(There’s a moment of awkward silence as I look around the empty, silent shop.)

Me: “You’re too busy?”

Pharmacist: “Yes. We only pierce ears on weekdays because weekends are too busy.”

(I’m lost for words for a moment, as I stand alone in the customer area where not even all the aisles have their lighting on.)

Me: “Could you make an exception?”

Pharmacist: “What if ten people with prescriptions were to suddenly arrive? Then what would we do? There’s only two of us behind the counter.”

(I end up leaving pretty soon after without getting anything, as the pharmacist continued to insist that ten people with prescriptions would materialise from the empty car-park.)

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