Don’t Ask What He Puts In His Granola

| SC, USA | Funny Names

(A customer comes in, and looks confused for several minutes.)

Me: “Sir, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Where is the yogurt?”

Me: “All of our dairy products are in the cooler.”

Customer: “No, yogurt. You know, yogurt that you put under your arms.”

Me: “…you mean deodorant?”

Customer: “Yes, yogurt!”

Me: “…aisle four.”

Prescribing Perspective

| AL, USA | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Top

Me: “How may I help you, ma’am?”

Customer #1: “I’m picking up a script for [name].”

(I proceed to look it up. However, the system alerts me that we do not have anything ready.)

Me: “I don’t see that we have anything ready for you, ma’am.”

Customer #1: “What do you mean, you don’t have anything! They called two days ago!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. If a prescription sits on our shelf for too long, we have to put it back on our stock shelf.”

Customer #1: “It’s only been a week! That’s just stupid! Give me back my script! I’ll go to [rival store]! Only one week! Absurd!”

(I escort her to my co-worker, so that I may help the other customers in line.)

Customer #2: “Oh, honey, I think I may have done the same thing and waited too long; can you check?”

Me: “Certainly, sir.”

(I check, and indeed his was placed back to stock as well.)

Me: “Yes, sir, I’m afraid so.”

(Customer #2 speaks loud enough for everyone to hear.)

Customer #2: “Oh, shoot. IT’S PURELY MY FAULT FOR FORGETTING, EVEN AFTER Y’ALL WERE SO NICE TO CALL ME TWICE. Thank you, sugar; I’ll go talk to [co-worker].”

100% Idiot

| UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Top

(An angry customer approaches me.)

Customer: “I purchased a pregnancy test from here, and it doesn’t work! I want my money back! I’ll never come here again! Stupid thing didn’t work!”

Me: “Okay… did you use it properly?”

Customer: “Do I look like an idiot?! I peed on a stick. Anyone can pee on a f****** stick!”

Me: “Did any type of line come up?”

Customer: “No, not a single line. Just a f****** number 30. How can I be 30% pregnant?”

Me: “Well, this is the first I’ve heard about this. Do you have the box with you so I can check if there have been any problems before?”

(The customer hands me the box. I stare at it and try not to laugh.)

Me: “Uh… you do realise that this is a thermometer, right?”

Customer: *runs out of the store*