And Don’t Watch ‘Final Destination’ Before Boarding Either

| Preston, England, UK | Working | August 21, 2015

(I am waiting for my prescription and happen to overhear a conversation between a customer and cashier:)

Customer: “Oh, I’m going travelling round Europe.”

Cashier: “Oooh, have you ever seen the film Hostel?”

Customer: “No…”

Cashier: “Don’t watch it.”

In Need Of Some Dedication Medication

| IA, USA | Right | August 17, 2015

(I work at a busy pharmacy; we usually look up patients by name, then confirm date of birth. A customer walks up.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m here to pick up medication.”

Me: “All righty, for who?”

Customer: “For my dad.”

Me: “Name?”

Customer: “John.”

Me: “Last name…”

Customer: “Smith.”

Me: “All right, and birthday?”

Customer: “John Smith!”

Me: “No, date of birth.”

Customer: “I don’t know; it’s my dad.”

Me: “Address?”

Customer: “Something, something, street…”

Systematic Failure

| FL, USA | Working | August 5, 2015

(I make a quick stop to pick up an over the counter allergy medication, and after a minute or two of choosing between two brands it’s finally my turn.)

Me: “I’ll take two boxes of the Claritin D, please.”

Tech: “Certainly. I just need your ID.”

(After a few minutes she still hasn’t given it back, and is looking confused.)

Me: “Um, is something wrong?”

Tech: “Well, the computer isn’t finding you in the system.”

Me: “Oh! I’ve never been here before. I’m not in the system.”

Tech: “Don’t worry, I’ll find you in it. This is your correct birth date?”

Me: “Yes, but I’ve never—”

Tech: “Don’t worry! I’ll find you!”

(This continues for TWELVE MINUTES before she goes to speak with the pharmacist, and I quickly cut in.)

Me: “I AM NOT IN THE SYSTEM. I have never been to this store before. You can’t look me up!”

Pharmacist: “…[Tech], you need to enter her in as a new patient, not try to look her up.”

(It took me almost twenty minutes to check out!)

Lying Is All Relative(s), Part 3

| PA, USA | Right | August 5, 2015

(I’m in high school, and work at my father’s pharmacy during the summer. One day a woman who looks to be in her mid-twenties rushes up to my line, cutting several people. She dumps multiple boxes of prescription medication on the counter, as well as about $50 worth of make-up, hair dye, and jewelry.)

Customer: “I’m the owner’s daughter, so I get all this stuff for free, okay?”

Me: “Ma’am, please get to the back of the line.”

Customer: “For the love of God, just ring me up! I’m the owner’s daughter! I don’t have time to wait!”

Me: “You’re the owner’s daughter?”

Customer: “Yes! What are you, f****** deaf? Just f****** ring my stuff up so it won’t set off the alarm!”

Me: “Wow, that’s such a coincidence.”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: *smiling widely*I’m the owner’s daughter, too!”

(The customer stared at me for a second, then turned beet red and ran out of the store, leaving her items on the counter. She hasn’t been back since!)


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A Legal Standing

| IN, USA | Right | July 6, 2015

(Just the pharmacist and I are working the late shift, around 2:00 am. at a popular 24-hour pharmacy. An elderly woman, who has a reputation for getting prescriptions early, hands me a script for painkillers.)

Elderly Customer: “Hi, I need this filled.”

Me: *for narcotics, our store requires we ask vague questions to help weed out fraudulence* “All righty, is this from today?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes, but I want it dated for three days ago.”

Me: “Forgive me?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes. You all cheated me out of my pills, so I had to wait three days for my refill. So you will date it three days early so that i can get it early from now on.”

(The pharmacist, a 65-year-old man who’s so close to retirement he’s not afraid of being fired, hears the conversation and comes over.)

Pharmacist: “Hello, I’m the pharmacist. Can I help you with something?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes. Your technician refuses to fill my prescription. I want you to fill it and date it for three days ago.”

Pharmacist: “No. It is against the law to do so. I will fill and date it for today.” *turns to leave*

Elderly Customer: “Hey, a**-hole! I’m not done with you!”

(At this point, the pharmacist turns slowly around. I am searching for cover.)

Elderly Customer: “You’re gonna fill my d*** pills for how I want! I’m the customer!”

Pharmacist: “What you are asking is so illegal, it isn’t even physically possible to do with our software.”

Elderly Customer: “It’s not illegal where I’m standing.”

(The elderly customer gives a big grin like she has won. The pharmacist proceeds to walk around the counter, out of the pharmacy, and stands next to the customer.)

Pharmacist: “Ehhh. Nope! It’s illegal over here, too. Good luck getting that filled, though.”

(He handed her the prescription, and she stormed away screaming curses.)

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