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“Birth” Defect

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Where do you keep your ‘birth checkers’?”

Me: “If by ‘birth checkers’ you actually mean our pregnancy tests… aisle eight, right-hand side, top shelf.”

Customer: “Okay. Do you know if an ultrasound can tell if the baby is white or black?”

Me: “…”

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Too Much Meth, Not Enough Math

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money, Popular

Me: “Okay, just so you know, sir, a three-month supply of this medication is going to cost you about $400.”

Customer: “What?! No. You’re wrong. When I picked it up last it was a third of that!”

(I look up his payment and pick up history in the system.)

Me: “It looks like this new prescription is the same medication as the last but you’re allowed to pick up three months at a time instead of just one. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Yes! But it’s never this expensive!”

Me: “Well, you’re picking up more at one time which is why it is a higher cost.”

Customer: “No! You’re wrong. It’s not supposed to be this expensive!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t set the prices. Your insurance company tells us what to charge you based on your plan.”

(This commences a 10 minute rant about how this medication is too expensive and he KNOWS he shouldn’t owe this much because he has been in the industry for 20 years and has a PhD.)

Customer: “When I picked it up last month it was only $133! It shouldn’t be $400!”

Me: “So… you previously picked up a one month supply for $133? And you’re upset because this three-month supply is three times the cost of the one-month supply?”

Customer: “YES!”

(Sadly this man did not see the math and proceeded to stay for the next 45 minutes and tell me exactly what was wrong with the entire industry and why it was my fault. Unfortunately, I have more stories about this guy from this 45 minute encounter alone.)

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Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 8

| Lebanon, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Excuse me; can I use this coupon here?”

(The coupon looks like a standard buy-one-get-one coupon, and I see that she has some of the items depicted.)

Me: “Yes, you should be able to!”

(I ring up the items, but end up having trouble with the coupon.)

Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry; I didn’t look at the coupon closely. You need to buy two [Brand] items to get these items free.”

Customer: “But I did buy them!”

Me: “Were they on the counter? I don’t think I rang any up…”

Customer: “No, I bought them at [Store next door].”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “I have the receipt; I can show you that I’m not lying…”

Me: “No, no, that’s not… To use the coupon, you usually have to buy them in the same purchase… at the same store.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I don’t think the coupon says that.”

Me: “I don’t think they felt it needed to…”

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 7
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 6
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 5