No ID, No Idea, Part 13

| Drexel Hill, PA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(I have recently been hired at a pharmacy a few towns over from mine. It’s my second day as cashier, when a teen girl comes to my register. I’m 22 and wearing a name tag.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a pack of [Brand] cigarettes, please.”

Me: “No problem. I just need to see your ID.”

Customer: “Oh, well it’s at my house and I don’t have time to run back and get it. Can’t you let me go this time?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s not worth my job.”

Customer: “But you know me!”

Me: “I can’t say that I do.”

Customer: “Dude, [My Name], we go to high school together.”

Me: “Oh, really? What high school do you go to?”

Customer: “[Local High School]. We totally have English together.”

Me: “Yeah, no. First of all I went to [Rival High School]. Second, I was in AP English, the scores of which I used to go to [University], which I just graduated from. So, no, I don’t know you. Show me ID or move along.”

Customer: “You suck.”

(She left and asked the next few visibly older customers to buy her cigarettes. No one bought them, and one even threatened to call the cops if she didn’t leave!)

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 12
No ID, No Idea, Part 11
No ID, No Idea, Part 10
No ID, No Idea, Part 9

Drugs Can Make You See Things

| Canada | At The Checkout, Funny Names, Health & Body, Top

(I am at the pharmacy picking up my prescription. I am standing in line behind a very elderly lady.)

Pharmacist: “Hello, ma’am. What can I do for you?”

Elderly Lady: “I am picking up my prescription. It’s under Mrs. [last name].”

(I overhear the elderly lady, and realize that she has the same last name as I do. This is not a totally uncommon name, but it doesn’t happen too often.)

Pharmacist: “Okay! Here we go I think it’s… huh…”

(The pharmacist looks confused as she picks up some pills.)

Pharmacist: “Can you tell me your first name please? I don’t think I grabbed the right one.”

Elderly Lady: “Sure, it’s [first name].”

(By a crazy coincidence, this is my first name too! At this point the pharmacist widens her eyes in shock as she stares at the pill box in her hand. She starts to stammer.)

Pharmacist: “But… um… I don’t… uhh… how?”

Me: “Um, I think those might be mine. I have the same first name and last name. Those are my birth control pills.”

Pharmacist: “Oh thank GOD! I thought I was in the twilight zone!”

Elderly Lady: “Oh dear! No wonder! No I don’t want THOSE!”

Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 2

| Jersey City, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I’m about to ring a customer up. I’m supposed to ask if they have our rewards card, and if they say no, I offer them to sign up for it, as it’s free of charge and relatively quick to do.)

Me: “Good evening, ma’am. Do you have a rewards card?”

Customer: “No. What’s the benefit of it?”

Me: “The rewards card allows you to get the sale prices of whatever’s on sale for the week, and with certain sale items and over the counter medications. You build up rewards points, which you can use to save money later on.”

Customer: “Okay. Do I need anything for it?”

Me: “All we need is some basic info, just for identification purposes. Would you like to sign up? It’s free of charge.”

Customer: *says nothing, fumbles around her purse*

Me: “Ma’am? Would you like to sign up for the card?”

(The customer takes out her credit card and swipes it, paying for the purchase.)

Me: “Okay.”

(I hand her the receipt and her bags.)

Me: “Have a good night.”

Customer: “So, do I get the rewards now?”

Me: *screaming internally*

Related:
Stupidity Is Its Own Reward