I’m working in a pharmacy. A customer comes to the consult window. The pharmacist is on the phone, so I ask if there’s something I can help her with.

Customer: *Loudly* “Where are your DISHES?”

Me: “Dishes?”

Customer: “Yes, DISHES!”

Me: “Like plates?”

She gestures wildly at her own crotch, now yelling.

Customer: “DISHES! For VAGINAS!”

Me: “Douches?”

Customer: “Yeah, DISHES.”

Me: “Um. Aisle fourteen.”

She was carrying like five cans of feminine deodorant spray, so I don’t know how she missed the douches; those items are right next to each other.

It’s my first year as an intern at a chain pharmacy. I have worked in normal retail stores before, so I know that you can never be prepared for what the public might say.

I am working the register in the pharmacy right after lunch. We have a decent line of people, but everyone is waiting pretty patiently, and I am working through the line in decent time.

I get to the third or fourth person in line, and there are still a handful of people waiting behind him. He strolls up to the counter like it’s any average Tuesday, and at full volume, he asks the following question, which I will never forget.

Customer: “Hi. Do you have any crime scene semen detection kits?”

No, sir. And what made you think the pharmacy did? Also, so many other questions I’m afraid to know the answer to.

The lack of embarrassment or discretion was honestly concerning.

I was a pharmacy student, doing an internship in a call center for a mail-order pharmacy. On this particular day, I was paired with a female pharmacist, and she was taking patient calls while I listened in.

Pharmacist: *Gives her greeting.*

Elderly Male Caller: “I want to talk to a gentleman pharmacist.”

Pharmacist: “I assure you, sir, I am a fully qualified pharmacist and can help you with whatever issue you’re having.”

Elderly Male Caller: “No, I want to speak to a gentleman pharmacist.”

Finally, she gave up and got a male colleague to call him back. When he finished.

Male Pharmacist: “Oh my. He was embarrassed and had some questions about an erectile dysfunction medication.”

I’ve caught a bug that’s made me wheezy, along with some coughing. It’s very obvious that I’m sick if you are near me for more than a couple of seconds.

My doctor sent some prescriptions to my pharmacy, and my partner and I are there picking them up. Because we’re not sure if I’m contagious or not, my partner and I are both wearing masks. We’re waiting in line when a guy gets behind us.

Guy: “You f****** [slur]s know those face diapers don’t do s***, right?”

I’ve dealt with so many of these kinds of people over the past couple of years, and while I’m annoyed, I keep my mouth shut. My partner does the same. The guy keeps going on about our supposed intelligence, who we voted for, etc.

Suddenly, I break into a coughing fit, with a very wet, painful-sounding cough. The guy suddenly changes his tone.

Guy: “What the f***?! You’re running around with the plague! You’re going to get me sick and kill my wife with whatever the h*** you’ve got!”

My partner turns and looks at him.

Partner: “Is being stupid a hobby for you, or are you just like this?”

Luckily, a manager had been called, and he asked the man to leave us alone or come back when he could behave. I managed to get my medications without further incident and went home where I wouldn’t be harassed for trying to keep others safe.

Related:
If The Stuff In Your Mask Is Like The Stuff In Diapers, You’ve Got PROBLEMS

My pharmacy has a patient who is on workers’ compensation. Every month, the workers’ comp needs prior authorization for his prescription, and every month, he yells at us telling us that we are doing something wrong.

On a Thursday, he calls us and I pick up.

Patient: “My insurance told me the prior authorization went through on Tuesday. What’s taking so long?!”

I go and retransmit it, and of course, it doesn’t go through. So, he starts yelling.

Patient: “You always mess this up! You’re not doing it right!”

Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Me: “Is it [Insurance Company]?”

Patient: “Yes!”

Me: “Well, it’s still not going through, unfortunately, so I’ll have to call you tomorrow.”

He starts yelling again, and I stop him.

Me: “Sir, I’m not going to have this conversation with you if you continue yelling at me.”

Patient: *Still yelling* “I’m not yelling at you! If I were yelling at you, your eardrums would burst!”

I don’t know why his insurance is telling him the claim has gone through when it clearly hasn’t, but this man is truly awful to deal with.