Getting Hot Under The Neighborly Collar

, , , , , , | Right | February 13, 2019

While not a popular item, we sell electric dog collars. I recently received a call from a customer asking how she should go about putting one on a dog…

Her neighbor’s dog.

Adopted Inhumanly Fast

, , , , , | Right | February 12, 2019

I was working at my volunteer job, socializing cats at the local animal shelter, when I noticed that we had a new kitten in with the name of Phil. A young couple entered and began examining our kittens, when suddenly I heard one of them say, “Phil? His first name is Agent!”

Unsurprisingly, Phil was swiftly adopted.

Need To Check And Save That Dog!

, , , , , | Right | February 12, 2019

(After a busy day at work, I’m excited that I’m at my last hour. I have to start closing half an hour before I leave. An elderly woman is sitting in the lobby, and when asked, she tells me she wants to open a safe deposit box, as well as transfer money from her checking to her savings. This sounds so simple, I figure I have more than enough time, and ask her to step into the office. She tells me she’d like to speed things up because she has her dog in the car. It’s April in Houston; although not as hot as summer, it is still pretty bad inside of a car. I say that’s fine, but I ask if the dog has the windows down. She says yes, so on we go.)

Customer: *hands over $5,000 check* “I need $2,000 for me, and the rest in my savings.”

(I realize she wants me to cash the check, give her $2,000 cash, and put the rest in her account, so I clarify.)

Customer: “No. I want $2,000 for me and the rest in my account.”

Me: “Okay, so, you want me to cash the check, give you $2,000 and deposit the rest into your account?”

Customer: “No, I want the rest in checking.”

Me: “All right, let’s get this straight. You want me to cash the check. Deposit $2,000 in your savings account, and put the rest in your checking account?”

Customer: “I want $2,000 for my savings box. The rest in my checking.”

(Figuring out that she means her safe deposit box, I tell her that she should cash the check, deposit what she needs into her checking and turn the $2,000 into a cashier’s check, since it’s safer. What she does with the check is her business. She says yes, so I tell her it will take me a few minutes while I go to the teller line and do that for her. I come out after about ten minutes since it is a busy day. The customer is standing by the door. I tell her I have the check and I’m ready to get started on opening the safe deposit box account for her.)

Customer: *almost screaming* “I said I wanted $2,000 in my checking and the rest in my savings!”

(I may have misheard her or just got confused with the whole ordeal from earlier, so I apologize and let her know I’ll fix it and I’ll be right back. She says she will be outside with her dog. I fix the error within two minutes and set to open her safe deposit box account. I don’t call her in so she won’t leave her dog in the heat, and I don’t need her at this step, anyway, since it’s just a matter of printing the papers and getting the keys. I’m hitting the print button when the woman walks directly to the assistant manager and asks to speak to the manager. The assistant manager asks how she can help her.)

Customer: “This woman doesn’t know what she’s doing. She could’ve just told me. My dog is sitting outside, and she made an error.”

(The manager looks at me and I step out of the office to let the woman know that the error is fixed and I’m at the point where I just need her to sign. Finally, the customer agrees to go inside so she can sign her paperwork.)

Customer: “I can’t believe you didn’t know what you were doing. You should’ve just told me.”

Me: “I’m sorry; it was a misunderstanding.”

Customer: “Well, you should’ve just told me you didn’t know what you were doing.”

(About twenty minutes have gone by. I’m ready to close down and I don’t like being told I don’t know what I’m doing when she clearly had her stake in it.)

Me: “I made an error. I apologize. It means I’m human.”

Customer: “Well, you shouldn’t have.”

Me: “If I didn’t make errors, I wouldn’t be working here. I would be working somewhere else, making a lot more money.”

(The customer hmphs and signs. She walks out of the office after I explain the details and hand over the keys.)

Me: “Do you need me to let you into your box?”

Customer: “No, I have my dog in the car.” *walks out*

(I notice she left the check behind.)

Me: *rushing to the door* “Ma’am, you forgot your check.”

Customer: “No. I need you to put it in my savings.”

(Now I’m confused, but I assume she means her safe deposit box since she has signed the paperwork and taken the keys.)

Me: “I can’t put it in your safe deposit box; I’m not allowed to know what’s in it and I can’t go in there for you.”

Customer: “The other bank took my box down for me and helped me.”

Me: “I can let you in and help you carry the box, but I can’t go in there for you since you have the keys. We do not hold a set of keys here, and we are also not allowed to know what’s in a box.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous; I have my car switched on for the dog.”

Me: “My coworker here will keep an eye on your car; I’ll let you into the room and you can put the check in.”

(Grudgingly, she agreed. At this point, the manager was next to me and we both went into the vault room with the customer. To my disgrace, the box I originally wanted to assign to her didn’t work, so the one I picked in a rush was at the very top, needing a step ladder. I climbed up the ladder, opened the box, had her and the manager verify the check was being put in, since she insisted I didn’t want her accusing me of a missing check later, and closed the box. By the time this was over, it was past my time to leave, I had a blaring headache, and the poor dog had sat in the car for about an hour.)

We Support Breastfeeding… To A Degree

, , , , , | Right | February 11, 2019

(I work at a well-known pet store; I handle the phone calls and help customers find things they need. I receive a call from a customer who at first doesn’t know how to find us. I have to try to guide him through the phone, yet he refuses to give me details of his current location.)

Me: “Okay, sir, what street are you currently on?”

Customer: “I don’t know!”

Me: “Look for a sign indicating what street you are on, and I can give you directions from there.”

(After a couple of minutes he finally finds a street sign. I am then able to give him directions. At this point, I think our phone conversation will be over, but he then asks me a question.)

Customer: “Do you guys sell puppy food?”

Me: “Yes, we do, sir! We have tons of different brands with puppy formula.”

Customer: “Perfect. I’ve been driving around all day to find a puppy formula!”

Me: *mentally* “How hard is it to find puppy food?”

(About ten minutes later an older gentlemen approaches me, asking where the puppy food is.)

Me: “Did you just call our store?”

Customer: “Yes, I did.”

Me: “Great! I was the one who spoke with you!”

Customer: *looking annoyed* “Can you just take me to the food?”

Me: “Yes, right this way.”

(I proceed to show him the different puppy foods we carry. Suddenly, he throws his hands up in the air and starts yelling.)

Customer: “I said I needed puppy formula; this isn’t puppy formula!”

(I point at the bags and show him that they each say, “Puppy Formula.”)

Customer: “No, like puppy formula for dogs who are nursing! My dog is already dried out!”

Me: “I apologize, sir, that there has been a misunderstanding, but I’m afraid we do not sell puppy formula for nursing dogs here.”

Customer: “I specified on the phone that they were only seven weeks old!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t ever remember you specifying that they were only seven weeks old.”

Customer: “Besides that, puppies can’t have kibble until they are at least two years old!”

Me: “Sir, have you ever had dogs before or bred dogs before?”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “Then let me just say that dogs don’t have to wait until they are two years old to eat solid food; they can start eating solid food as soon as four weeks. Who told you dogs couldn’t eat solid food until they were two years old?”

Customer: “I Googled it.”

Me: “So, you’ve been giving these dogs nothing but milk for seven weeks?! Through the mother?!”

Customer: “Yes, she’s been breastfeeding them for seven weeks, and now she’s dry; I need formula! Also, do you have a cream? Her nipples are bleeding.”

(Some people shouldn’t be allowed to have pets.)

A Biting Observation

, , , , | Right | February 10, 2019

(When my daughter is little we enjoy wandering through pet stores looking at the animals. This is overheard at one location.)

Woman #1: “Oh, look at those cute animals. What are they?”

Woman #2: “The sign says that they’re ferrets.”

Woman #1: “They don’t bite do they?”

Woman #2: “I’m sure they don’t. A pet store wouldn’t sell animals that bite.”

Daughter: “Mom, didn’t Grandpa tell us that once when he was hunting rabbits with his ferret that it bit him?”

Me: “Yes, he did.”

Daughter: “Why did those ladies think that animals don’t bite? Even my gerbils bite.”

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