(I’m outside walking a small poodle before her bath.)
Passing Woman: *to the poodle* “Oh, what a pretty kitty! Hello, kitty!”
Me: “…”
This story is part of our Even-Crazier-Pet-Owners roundup!
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(A boy and his mother come up to my register. The boy starts asking questions about the ant farm we have on display.)
Boy: “Can they mate?”
Me: “No, there’s no queen in there.”
Boy: “Oh… so they can’t mate?”
Me: “No, they’re all female.”
Boy: “So they can’t?”
Mother: *turns to boy* “Okay, shut up or go away! You’re being annoying!”
(I overhear a fellow salesperson’s sale. He is with a customer but another customer interrupts.)
Customer: “I want to make you an offer on this laptop. I give you $650.”
Coworker: “Sorry, sir, the price is $749.”
Customer: *looks at his wife and nods* “I give you $650 plus three chickens!”
Coworker: *fighting back a smile* “Sorry, the price is $749.”
Customer: “I would like to get a portrait of my dog done.”
Me: “Okay, sure. I would love to do that for you.”
Customer: “Do you always do your portraits in black and white? Because I would like it in color.”
Me: “Sorry, no… I just work in pencil.”
Customer: “So you can’t do color?”
Me: “No, all my portraits are done in graphite pencil. I don’t paint or anything.”
Customer: “Aww. Well, I really wanted it in color, but, oh, well… I guess…”
(She then proceeded to hand me a picture of her pure white dog with a black nose.)
Dog Owner: “Yeah, my Golden Retriever keeps bringing things back to me. Do you know why?”
Trainer: “Well, ma’am, what’s the second word in the breed’s name?”
Owner: “Uh… retriever?”
Trainer: “That would be why.”
This story is part of our Golden Retriever roundup!
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Read the Golden Retriever roundup!
