You Apologize To That Precious Pupper Right Now!

, , , , , , | Related | January 28, 2021

I am getting ready to go to sleep. My dog will usually start the night off in my sister’s room for an hour before hopping into bed with me and spending the rest of the night in my room. I go to collect her from my sister’s room but she’s not in there. I’m not worried as it’s summertime and I figure she’s in my parent’s room; the air conditioner is in their room and sometimes she’ll sleep on the floor if she’s too hot. However, she’s not in there, either.

I begin panicking as I search the whole house and can’t find her. Eventually, I check outside and see the world’s saddest dog laying on the outdoor furniture. She sees me and is ecstatic that she doesn’t have to spend the night outside and runs into my room where she is given extra cuddles all night.

The next morning, I am furious with my sister.

Me: “You a**hole! You left the dog outside last night.”

Sister: “How do you know it was me?”

Me: “Because I know you smoked weed before going to bed and you always take her out with you.”

Sister: “Whatever, she’s fine now.”

Me: “No, it’s not fine. What if it had been wintertime and you pulled this s***? If I hadn’t bothered to check, she would have been dead. Even so, we have bears in the woods, and what would have happened if one attacked her? It’s so irresponsible of you!”

Sister: “Whatever, accidents happen.”

I’m still pissed at her, and thankfully, the dog realized who was fully at fault here. My sister then began to complain that the dog didn’t like to hang out with her as much and say, “I think the dog is mad at me for some reason.” Gee, I wonder why?

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We Really Admire That Dog

, , , , , | Related | January 21, 2021

We have two older dogs. My boy has a bad leg and is a complete pushover. My girl is going blind and has a well-managed chronic pain condition and knows she’s queen bee. We have two dog beds in front of the TV. One is snuggly and the other is firm for when too many blankets would make it difficult for one of them to get up. 

This evening, I am watching TV and my boy is in the snuggly bed, having earlier pulled his favourite blanket from the firm one and into the snuggly one, and my girl is in the firm one. She decides she wants some comfort and climbs into the snuggly bed, lying on top of his bad leg. He gets up and glares at her. 

Then, he goes deliberately into the kitchen to my dad. Dad assumes he wants out and opens the back door. My girl can’t resist a chance to go outside and immediately gets up and trots outside. My boy turns round and gets back in the bed she just vacated. 

Who says dogs don’t have good reasoning skills?

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You Claw Her, She’ll Claw You Right Back

, , , , | Related | January 20, 2021

I am the author of this story. In September of 2020, I get another cat — a kitten, actually — and she was recently spayed. When she gets home, she keeps taking the cone off, so I get the idea to use safety pins to tighten the fabric around her neck. Unfortunately, I do not keep safety pins in the house, so I call Nana.

Me: “Do you have any safety pins? Pumpkin keeps taking off her cone, and I need to stick her.”

Nana: *Pause* “I don’t think you want to do that. That might hurt her.”

Me: “I meant, stick the fabric around the cone and tighten it so she can’t take it off anymore!”

Nana: “That makes more sense than sticking her.”

Could Be Worse; You Could Be Bronze

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Throwing Your Relationship Out With The Dog Water

, , , , | Related | January 14, 2021

My mom has a history of giving animals away when they turn out to have a flaw or when she grows tired of them. I hate this habit, especially since I grew close to a certain dog and she gave her away just because she got old.

When I move out, I finally get my own dog. He’s up there in years. One day, I start noticing that he’s not eating or pooping, so I take him to the vet. She finds some of my hair in his intestines — I have really long, thick hair — and does surgery on him to get it out.

A few months later, I need to go on a business trip, and I ask my mom to take care of my dog. When I come back, though, I notice that he’s not around. 

Me: “Where’s [Dog]?”

Mom: “Oh, I gave him back to the shelter.”


Mom: *Pauses* “You’re right. It was a stupid thing to do. But in my defense, he’s old.”

I called around and finally heard from a shelter known for killing their animals, and when I explained what happened, they gave him back to me with an apology and admitted they probably should have investigated a little more.

I still haven’t spoken to my mom in almost four years. My dog is doing well and has recovered from his ordeal. I still haven’t forgiven my mom for all the crap she’s pulled. If you choose to take care of an animal, you are responsible for it. Don’t give an animal away just because it’s getting old, or you’re moving, or getting another pet, or even having a baby. It’s wrong and cruel to the animal and everyone who loves it.

This story is part of our Best Of January 2021 roundup!

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Read the Best Of January 2021 roundup!

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As Long As The Dog Is Happy, That’s All We Care About

, , , , , | Legal | January 13, 2021

This story takes place shortly after I am hired for my first job as a police officer. The city that hired me has a mandatory leash law for dogs. Sadly, some of my fellow officers have recently ended up shooting a few nuisance dogs, which has been spun in an effort to show that our department hates dogs.

One day, while I’m walking around my patrol area — in full uniform and with a running body camera — a large puppy turns the corner ahead of me, sees me, and sprints over in a rush of puppy excitement. The pup seems friendly and well-trained — at least for a puppy — and it’s wearing a collar, so after getting it to sit, I give it a scratch and kneel down to read the tag on the collar.

Suddenly, a woman turns the same corner the pup came from and starts sprinting over, screaming.

Woman: “Get away from my dog! Don’t you dare hurt him!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s okay. He’s a friendly guy. I’m just taking a look at his tag.”

Woman: “Just let him go! He hasn’t done anything!”

Me: “The only thing I’m seeing wrong is that he doesn’t have a leash.”

Woman: “I have it right here.”

She pulls a leash out of her sweatshirt pocket and clips it to the pup’s collar.

Me: “Did he escape from your yard or something?”

Woman: “No, we were taking a walk. He likes to move faster than I do, so I let him off his leash so he can wander more. He doesn’t usually go this far away from me.”

Me: “Well, ma’am… based on that, I’m going to have to give you a citation for not having a leash on him.”

Woman: “You can’t do that! I didn’t know about the leash law, and I had a leash right here! I didn’t do anything wrong!”

Me: *While writing out the citation* “Unfortunately, you just admitted that you intentionally let your dog walk without a leash. That’s illegal in [City], so I have to write a citation.”

Woman: *With a smug look now* “Well, he has a leash now, so you can’t prove anything!”

Me: “Ma’am, all [City] police officers wear body cameras. You and your dog have been on camera this entire time. I need your information for the citation.”

She glared at me and refused to give me her information, so I knelt down and started reading her name, address, and telephone number off the pup’s tag, making sure to hold the tag in a position where my body camera would get a good recording of it. When the woman realized what I was doing, she scoffed, dragged the pup away from me, and refused to take the completed citation when I tried to hand it to her.

She tried to fight the citation in court, but my body camera footage of the entire incident was more than enough for the judge to rule that the citation was legitimate.

On a happy note: a few months after her court appearance, the woman was arrested for some unrelated crimes and sentenced to a prison term. Because she lived alone and had nobody to take care of her now-adult dog, he was taken to a local animal shelter. Shortly after, he was adopted by another local family who have taken excellent care of him and his leash. I still see the dog most days when I’m on patrol, and I have started carrying a few dog treats in my pockets for him and the other friendly dogs in the neighborhood.

This story is part of our Best Of January 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of January 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of January 2021 roundup!

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