The Purr-fect Babysitter

, , , , , | | Hopeless | June 2, 2019

A few years ago, my two-year-old nephew was spending the night with us because the adults in his family were sick. He was perfectly happy playing with his cousins until bedtime, and then he fell apart crying. He didn’t want anybody neared him and just bawled.

My 12-year-old tabby cat came into the bedroom that my nephew was going to share with my older son. He took a look at the situation, hopped up on my nephew’s bed, and started purring, loudly. My nephew calmed down and quickly fell asleep. I checked in through the night to make sure that he was okay. That cat stayed with him all night.

Our kitty passed away last fall, and our favorite story is of how he babysat our nephew through the night.

Your Attitude is Shih-Tzu

, , , , | | Friendly | June 2, 2019

(My partner and I are walking through a town on a shopping trip. We pass through rows of terrace housing between the train station and the shops. We pause at one house on the way into town, admiring the army of shih-tzus in the large Victorian bay window. The front door is open with lots of people going in and out and chatting on the threshold. On our way back, we pass the house again, and this time the front door is shut. While we try and cross the busy road, I glance down and gasp in shock. Cowering on a drain cover is a very tiny, shivering, black and white puppy. It’s so small it’s no taller than the kerb. My partner also spots it, but I nudge them. If we make eye contact with it, it may totter towards us, and any passing car would turn it into mince. Dropping my shopping, I quickly cross the road and scoop up the puppy before it can move. The poor thing is cold, and it snuggles happily into my jacket. The puppy isn’t hurt or even dirty, just cold and wondering where the h*** Mom is. Since we know exactly where it lives, we make our way to the front door of the house. There are loud thumping noises of furniture moving coming from inside.)

Me: *knocks on the door several times*

Man: *from behind the door* “GO AWAY. F*** OFF!”

Me: *keeps knocking insistently* “But I have—“

Man: *from behind the door* “GO AWAY OR WE’LL CALL THE POLICE!”

Me: *very clearly through the letterbox* “Okay! Thank you so much for the free puppy! He’s beautiful!”

(The door suddenly bangs open to reveal a woman standing there. Two dogs rush out and start barking. One of them jumps up against me, clearly trying to get to the puppy.)

Woman: “Oh, my God, there he is! How the h*** did he get out?! Is he all right?! Where did you find him?”

Me: “I found him shivering by the kerb, but I’m not sure I want to give him back to you if you have that attitude!”

Woman: “[Man]! [MAN]! Get your a** out here!”

(Sure enough, the man stomps his way down. He sees the puppy in my arms and his jaw drops.)

Man: “Where the h*** did you find him? We’ve been looking all over! Is he okay?!”

Woman: “She found him at the kerb and tried to give him back to us. And you swore at her!”

Man: *very embarrassed* “I’m sorry about that, love. We’ve been turning everything upside down trying to find [Puppy]. He belongs to our daughter. See, here’s his mom.”

(He gestured to one of the dogs, who was still standing up trying to get to the puppy. With the apology, I handed the puppy over, and the woman wrapped him up in a warm towel. Momma Dog took over warming-up duty. The couple ended up thanking me sincerely for saving the dog. The other dogs looked just beautiful and well groomed, so I did think it was a case of an accidental overlook. I hope they kept a closer eye on him next time!)

My Hands Are As Clean As A Whistle

, , , , , | | Friendly | May 29, 2019

(My husband answers the door to a neighbor, angrily knocking.)

Neighbor: “Hey! Your son had better cut that s*** out!”

Husband: “Huh? [Son] isn’t even here right now.”

Neighbor: “Bulls***! My wife’s laying out in her bikini and your son’s in his room whistling at her! If it’s not him, then it’s you!”

Husband: *laughs*

(This, of course, ticks off Mr. [Neighbor] even more.)

Husband: “Hold on, hold on… Come on in the house. We’ll talk with whoever it is whistling at your wife.”

(The neighbor man follows my husband into the room and he points to the offending whistler: a newly acquired parrot! The bird cocks his head at the newcomer and whistles at him.)

Husband: “Okay… Do you want to apologize to me, my son, or the bird?”

It’s A Bailey Struggle

, , , , , , | | Legal | May 29, 2019

(My Saint Bernard is still only a puppy, so while I still can, I’m taking him on a walk around the area so he can learn his way around if he gets lost. Despite me only having him for a couple of months, he’s already protective of me, and quite strong, too. I’m at the milk bar at the end of my street and the only pole I can tie him to isn’t in sight from within the shop. I will only take about two minutes, so I leave him there. Upon coming out of the shop I see someone dragging my dog down the path. I’m only twelve and around 5’4″, while this guy is at least 6’4″, muscular, and in his mid-30s.)

Me: *while running* “Hey! That’s my dog!”

(Upon seeing me, my dog starts to pull as hard as he can to get to me, and the guy starts to move faster.)

Me: *getting in front of him* “Didn’t you hear me? That’s my dog!”

Stranger: “Out of my way, girly. Bruno and I are trying to get home.”

(My dog’s name is not Bruno.)

Me: “If his name is Bruno, why does he respond when I call out ‘Bailey’? Why does he seem so eager to get away from you and back to me if he’s your dog?”

Stranger: “Because that’s how he acts around everyone.”

(The shop owner hears me calling and leaves the shop to see what is going on.)

Owner: “Both of you! What’s going on here?”

Stranger: “This little girly here was trying to get my dog!”

Owner: “Really?” *to me* “What was going on here?”

Me: “I came out of your shop and found this guy dragging Bailey down the street!”

Owner: *to the stranger* “Can you prove he’s your dog?”

Stranger: “Well, erm…”

Me: *remembering the tag on his neck* “I can prove he’s mine.”

Stranger: “As if!”

Me: *to the owner* “Look at his tag around his neck! I can tell you the address, the phone number is my mum’s, and his name is Bailey.”

(The owner asks me what the various details are and I answer them. The stranger looks angrier and angrier each time.)

Stranger: *yelling* “YOU JUST LOOKED AT THE TAG BEFORE!”

(The yelling scares my dog, who has been pulling on the lead. When he pulls the lead once more it snaps, and my dog bites the stranger before running to me.)

Stranger: “Give me back my dog! I’m calling the police!”

Owner: “And I’ll show them the security footage.”

(The police were called, and when shown the tapes they took him to their car and the shop owner gave me a new lead.)

Self-Fetching Is An Add-On Feature

, , , , , | | Friendly | May 27, 2019

We were given a kitten as a birthday gift. While we didn’t approve of the type of gift, the little one was more than welcome. He is a Blue Russian mixed with a Siamese, and they are said to be talkative, energetic, and smart.

We noticed he was smart when we tossed away his toy mouse. Without teaching him anything, he brought it back to toss it again. His favourite game was us throwing the mouse from the staircase so he could rush down the stairs like an oncoming train.

Of course, there was a moment where we couldn’t play with him. When I was ill, I was in bed and noticed the cat climbing up the second staircase, which is an open staircase. The cat dropped its toy through the open space, letting it fall down the other staircase. Of course, the oncoming-train-cat rushed down the stairs and did it over and over again.

And that’s when I found out my cat learned to play “fetch” by himself.

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