Animal Attraction, Part 3

, , , , | Right | February 17, 2021

I work as a vet’s assistant and I typically help with restraining the pets. Normally, I enter the room with a greeting to the pet.

Me: *To the dog* “Hiiiii, baby!”

Client: *Looks me up and down* “Well, hi there, honey!”

Me: “…”

I pet the dog, not realizing he was talking to me. The client turns to the veterinarian.

Client: “Well, d***, they’re always talking to the animals, ain’t they?”

Related:
Animal Attraction
Animal Attraction, Part 2

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MOTHER. I HUNGER. I STARVE.

, , , , , , | Related | February 11, 2021

My mum, sister, and I have a cat. The cat gets fed every evening. Both my mum and my sister are out for the evening — separately — so I feed the cat. Then, I go upstairs into my room to play some video games.

An hour or so later, I hear my mum come home, and an hour after that, my sister. Suddenly, my sister storms upstairs and angrily asks why nobody has fed the cat yet.

Me: “I fed the cat!”

Mum: “Oh, so did I!”

Sister: “Oh, I did, too!”

It turns out that the cat had gobbled up her first portion and licked her bowl clean, and was so convincing in begging for more that my mum had assumed she hadn’t eaten yet and fed her, and then the cat did the same spiel with my sister! Since then, we always texted one another when the cat had been fed until my sister and I moved out.

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You Can’t Just Go Around Licking People’s Bean Bags!

, , , , , | Romantic | February 8, 2021

My husband has a padded tray he uses for his laptop. Noticing it’s damp, he sighs and turns to our dog.

Husband: “You’ve been licking my bean bag, haven’t you?”

I dissolve into laughter.

Husband: “No! The thing under my laptop!”

I laugh even more.

Husband: “Wait. That doesn’t sound any better.”

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Time To Cor-go And Sleep On The Couch

, , , , , | Romantic | February 6, 2021

I’m eight months pregnant and have noticed throughout my pregnancy that my two dogs and my boyfriend have gotten progressively needier.

I was already in bed sleeping with the dogs when my boyfriend tried to sneak in without waking me up. Unfortunately for him, he had to move one of the dogs to make room to snuggle with me. And when he moved that dog, the other would just swoop in and take their place. This just kept going in a cycle and ended up waking me.

I got the luxury of seeing my boyfriend be outsmarted by two corgis until he just gave up, angrily whispering, “What the actual f***?”

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Toddlers And Feral Cats: A Perfect Pair

, , , , , | Related | February 6, 2021

My first apartment complex had a number of feral cats that would roam the outskirts of the complex since some of the homeowners put out food for them. I was very bored at the time, as I’d just moved to this new area and didn’t know anyone yet, so out of curiosity, I took out some meat one evening to see if a feral cat would come to me to eat.

One little kitten “volunteered” himself by running up to me when he saw me try to feed the other cats, which was already far more outgoing than any of the other ferals.  

He was cautious at first, fleeing from me after taking his meat as the others did. After a number of feedings, I eventually got him to come to me to take the meat out of my hand. Some feedings after that, he would tolerate my right hand briefly touching his head when he grabbed the food out of my left hand. Some feedings after that, he would accept a single stroke of his head to get food. And finally, after a long-fought war, he would willingly allow me to pet him after I finished feeding him.

Eventually, my complex put out cages to catch all the cats, and when my favorite cat was caught, I went to the local shelter and adopted him officially. It took him a few days to get used to being in a house, but he came out of his shell and became a very affectionate cat who loved to be pet. Every night when I got up to go to bed, he would race to my bedroom and take up a spot on the pillows above my head and spend all night curled up with me.

A little while later, I offered to allow some friends to stay at my apartment for the night to save on hotel costs. I warned them that my cat was technically a feral cat, having spent his kittenhood outside with only my intermittent brief visits to feed him for human interaction. Even though he had come to trust me, since I fed him as a kitten, I didn’t know how he would be around other humans. I told them if he was a problem I would lock him in the laundry room for the evening.

When they arrived, their toddler was fascinated by my cat and chased the poor feline all over my small apartment trying to hold him. She was too young to know how to handle cats and so was always trying to pull the poor cat’s tail or pick him up awkwardly. Originally, I was afraid he might lash out at her, but he tolerated her admirably, never once hissing or growling at her no matter what she did.

However, most shocking of all was that, as soon as they managed to get the toddler to go to sleep, my cat went over to her bed and curled up above her head for the night. That was the only night he didn’t sleep with me, having assigned himself to watching over the toddler that had tormented him all evening, instead.

After that, it was clear, despite having grown up outside, that he was always meant to be with people. I’m quite thankful for my random decision to relieve my boredom by seeing whether I could tame a “feral” cat.

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