(Our store is selling stuffed toys to give to children undergoing cancer treatment. I’m on register checking out a couple.)

Me: “Would you like to purchase one of the toys and donate it to a child?”

(The customer reaches for one of the toys and I think I’ve made a sale. But then she puts the toy back on the counter and says:)

Customer: “My hunch is that kids who have cancer get enough of these.”

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(A male customer comes up to me and shows me a male dog’s belly. Note that I am a rather young woman.)

Customer: “What are those bumps on his belly?”

Me: “Those are nipples.”

Customer: “But I thought you said it was a boy.”

Me: “He is a boy.”

Customer: *horrified* “So why does he have nipples?”

Me: “All mammals have nipples, sir. Don’t you?”

Customer: “I… I guess you’re right.”

(The customer turns six shades of red and walks away. This is not the first time that exact exchange has transpired.)

(I am a cashier working the morning shift at a popular pet store when a woman comes in to get a gift card. Our store has machines to take cards; we don’t swipe them ourselves.)

Customer: “I’d like to put $12 on this card.”

(I go through the process of getting the money on the gift card.)

Me: “Okay, $12.”

Customer: *gives me her card*

Me: “No, right here.” *gestures to the machine*

Customer: “Did you just point with your middle finger?”

Me: *smiling* “Oh, I kind of gesture with my whole hand. Like this.” *gestures again*

Customer: “You can’t point with your middle finger! It’s like doing this!” *flips me off*

Me: “Oh, well, I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention at all.”

Customer: “You know what? I don’t have to deal with this! F*** you! F*** you, you stupid ugly f*****g b***h!” *flips me off and storms out!*

(I am disabled and have a service dog that accompanies me everywhere, including my job. I typically run a register, and he will either sit or lay beside me on the rubber mat behind the register. I typically don’t talk about my disabilities with strangers, since some people can be rather mean.)

Customer: “Oh, a service dog! Are you training it?”

Me: *ringing up customer’s items* “No. He’s mine.”

Customer: “But you don’t look disabled.”

(I just smile and continue their transaction.)

Customer: “Oh! Do you have seizures?”

Me: “Something like that.”

Customer: “Diabetes?”

Me: “Something like that.”

Customer: “PTSD?”

Me: “Something like that.”

Customer: “Well! I wasn’t trying to be nosy. Hmph!”

Me: “Sorry about that. Your total will be [total].”

(The customer pays and takes his bags, starts heading for the door before turning back to me.)

Customer: “I’m sorry. That was rude of me, wasn’t it?”

Me: “Something like that.”

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(I work for a well-known pet store chain that has never sold dogs or cats. It is the week before Christmas. We are fairly busy. I am on the floor doing customer service when an angry customer rushes up to me, dragging his young daughter behind him.)

Customer: “I need a Chihuahua puppy, right now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t understand. Have you lost your pup in the store?”

Customer: “No, you stupid b****. I want to buy a Chihuahua puppy. I’ve looked everywhere in the store and can’t find them.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t sell puppies. We never have.”

Customer: “That’s crap! I saw puppies in here the other day.”

Me: “Yes. Our adoption partners were here. See, we save space in our store for rescues, so shelter dogs and cats can find their forever homes.”

Customer: “I don’t want a USED dog. I want a Chihuahua puppy. One that’s clean!”

(His daughter starts to sob and whine at him.)

Me: “Shelter dogs aren’t used or dirty. I have two rescues, myself.”

Customer: “Listen, you w****. Go in the back and get my puppy.”

Me: “At this point, you have insulted me and won’t listen to what I’m telling you. I have the right to refuse you service.”

(I go to walk away from him. He starts screaming over his child’s crying and grabs me by the arm.)

Customer: “YOU F****** B****! YOU’VE RUINED MY GIRL’S CHRISTMAS! I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY, MAKING LITTLE GIRLS CRY! NOW GO GET MY PUPPY OR I’LL HAVE YOU FIRED!”

(I’ve had enough. My manager has heard the commotion and is right behind the customer, getting ready to intervene.)

Me: “Right. The Chihuahua puppies come in next Wednesday, with our dragon eggs and unicorn babies. You’ll have to wait until then.”

(My manager had to stop himself from laughing as he escorted the customer to the front for yelling at me and grabbing me. Luckily, my bosses have a good sense of humor and didn’t fire me!)

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