How To Neuter A Prank Call

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals

(The phone ring.)

Me: “Hello, You’re through to—”

Caller: “—ah, yes. Do you neuter men?”

(There is giggling in the background, and it is clearly a prank call.)

Me: “Yes, we do. In fact, I am with a patient right now.”

(One of the parrots chooses that moment to scream.)

Me: “Sam, if you held still this wouldn’t hurt so much! Sorry, we ran out of anesthetic and he just won’t hold still… Hello?”

Carried Away With The Carrier

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work at a pet store where a donation bin is located at the entrance/exit. People can drop off pet food and toys into these bins to be picked up by an organization that distributes them among local shelters; all this is clearly written on the bin. I am working the register when a customer who just spent around $150 dollars on cat supplies mere seconds ago returns and inquires about the bin.)

Customer: “Is that bin for donations?”

Me: “It is.”

Customer: “So could just take a few things? The kind of food my cat eats is there and I really like one of the carriers.”

Me: “No, sorry, everything there is going to a shelter.”

Customer: “Oh… well, I mean, if you’re giving it all away anyway, why can’t I just take a few things?”

Me: “Because everything in that bin is for local shelters. We can’t give it to anyone else.”

Customer: “Can’t you make an exception? I really like that carrier.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t let anyone but the [Collection Agency] take anything from that bin.”

Customer: *annoyed and raising her voice a bit* “What difference does it make if I take a few things? Either way it’s going to an animal! You just want me to have to spend more money here!”

Me: *speaking calmly despite my annoyance* “I’m sorry, but those items are not mine to give. People drop them off to go to shelters, so until [Collection Agency] picks them up they must remain in the bin.”

Customer: “What’s a shelter gonna need with a fancy carrier like that, anyway?!”

Me: “Shelters often have to transport their animals for vet trips and adoption events. Granted, not many people donate carriers, but that’s all the more reason that such a donation would be appreciated. I can’t give anything from that bin away.”

Customer: *suddenly speaking softly and dejectedly, probably in an attempt to gain sympathy* “But it’s the holidays…”

Me: “Yes, and shelters really need these items.”

Customer: “Fine!” *storms out*

Getting Red Over Going Green

| PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m ringing out a lady who is using two cards for one transaction. One is a gift card and the other a debit card.)

Me: “Just run that through as credit.”

Customer: “Which one is credit?”

Me: “Hit enter.”

Customer: “Which one?”

Me: “The green one.”

(She hits green and I give her a second total and she goes to slide her second card.)

Customer: “I want credit.”

Me: “Okay, same thing, just hit green.”

Customer: “I hit cancel for credit?”

Me: “No. Enter.”

Customer: “Which one is enter?”

Me: “Green.”

Customer: “Red?”

Me: “No. Green.”