Customer: “I need some of that spray that stops the dogs from chewing on my table legs.”
Me: “Yes, we have some over here.”
Customer: “Oh, no, not that brand. My dog doesn’t like that one.”
Me: “…”
I worked at a large pet store chain for a few years, and I worked directly with the animals. I was on the bus, coming home from college. I had my headphones on, and a lad was trying to get my attention, so I took them off.
Lad: “Hey, you work at [Store], right?”
Me: “Yes?”
Lad: “Okay, great. So, my sister has this lizard…”
I’ve also had people ask me for information while I was shopping in other stores.
Part of my job is to do basic water tests for fish tanks. One lady brings me a sample of water, and I do the whole test.
Me: “Ma’am, your water appears to be extremely alkaline.”
Customer: “You’re a liar! I’ve never had batteries in my tank!”
Me: “No…”
A woman comes in with a puppy about five or six weeks old.
Customer: “Help me pick out a dog food.”
Me: “How old is he, and what breed? What food is he eating now?”
Customer: “Eight weeks. I don’t know the breed, and I don’t know which food.”
Me: “Hmm, he may need milk because he looks way younger than eight weeks, and he looks like a pit bull mix.”
Customer: *Suddenly yelling* “The person who gave him to me said he wouldn’t get bigger and he would stay this small!”
Me: “Uh… ma’am, sorry, but no. Pit bulls usually get above fifty pounds depending on which breed they are.”
The customer looks like she’s having a nervous breakdown!
Customer: “I wanted a small dog. Are there any dogs that stay small? Only teacup dogs!”
Me: “This little guy is certainly not a teacup, ma’am.”
Customer: “Well, what if I feed him smaller amounts of food?”
Me: “So, you want to starve him? He gets big because of his breed, not because of what he eats.”
Customer: “No, no, no, this will not do. I wanted a teacup…”
She walked out of the store and left the poor guy behind! I called out to her and tried to see if she’d driven here, but she was gone before I could do anything to truly identify her.
I took the puppy home with the intention of putting him up for fostering, but he was almost immediately adopted by my cat, Janeway, so that settled that.
Five years later, that woman might have ruined my hope in humanity for a while, but Janeway and Chakotay are getting along like best friends.
I work at a pet store. A customer comes in while I am straightening a shelf.
Customer: “Do you carry outdoor cat houses? Where would they be?”
Me: “We have small dog houses that can be used as cat houses, but no, not specifically cat houses.”
Customer: “I saw it online, so I thought you would have it in-store.”
Me: “The online stock is a lot more extensive because it comes from the distribution center directly. Your best bet is to order online and have it delivered to your home.”
Customer: “It was, like, a material on the sides. Do you know what I mean?”
Me: “I don’t, I’m sorry. If you saw it online, you—”
Customer: *Drawing a typical house shape in the air* “It comes down with the roof like this, like a house. And the sides are material and the roof is, like, hard. Not plastic, not metal. It’s a different material. You don’t have it?”
Me: “No, ma’am. We do not have that. Can you show me the page on your phone? Maybe I can find something similar.”
Customer: “Oh, it’s on my desktop at home. I don’t do those smartphone things.”
Me: “Oh, okay. Well, like I said, I’m really sorry, but we don’t have anything like that in store.”
Customer: “How does [Big Store] not carry what they advertise? It’s pretty rude, you know, with the false advertising. I’m tempted to call the Better Business Bureau.”
Me: “You said you saw it on [Big Store]’s website?”
Customer: “Yes!”
Me: “We are not [Big Store].”
I point to my store’s logo on my shirt.
Customer: “Well, you could have said that and not wasted my time!”
She threw her hands up and walked out, passing several signs with the store logo on them.
